Turning back time...with life's goodness.

could it be?

2012-01-30T23:09:00.002+08:00

I can't believe it.

It's finally happening. Finally. There it is.

There are honestly no words to describe how I am feeling right now, except... surreal.

Now, I've used that word before. But this time, it's different.

Because it's about you.

You know how everything differs when it's about you.

I myself don't know why that is, but I guess you have been special to me that way.

And I still can't believe it.

Somebody pinch me, 'cause I still can't believe it until now.

My Christmas wish will come true, and you will be my Christmas miracle.

You'll probably laugh at me for saying things like these, but. I am just ecstatic to say the least.

Now I have something to look forward to, again. Finally, again.

And it's all because of you.

Until then, Mr. Soulmate.

"We will live like kings under lavender skies."

in a bout of desperation

2011-12-04T02:14:00.000+08:00

Never have I been disappointed in this real, actual life. Delusions and daydreaming aside, some have been constantly making life harder for me, forcing me to lose this optimism permanently. Even those I've trusted for a long time have shattered such trust almost effortlessly (which hurts me all the more).

And because I can't say it over at FB where my nephews and nieces can read it and other relatives can give me advice for it (when really, I don't freaking need it), might as well say it here: I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE.

Whether they cared a little or not at all, I don't care anymore. Just fucking leave me alone. And yes, appearing in my dreams is just as unforgivable as trying to talk to me.

/sighs ...I'm just tired. Doing all what I could, I don't want to reach out anymore. That's all.

What prompted me to write this entry?

Reading blog entries as far back as 2007 made me reminisce; I often ranted about school and my ~~non-existent~~ connections with certain people, but I also talked a lot about what made me happy and what made me hope strongly ~~being the hopeless romantic that I am~~. So many things have happened in my life during that time and since then.

But in this bout of desperation, I only wish for one thing.

I have been less hopeful than I was five (or even four) years ago, but I have to say that after everything, it is only what's left of my wishes. I'd rather wish for just that than wish for anything else in my life right now, and maybe that's saying something. If only the chances of that happening were as big as that of raining during the fall season. If only.

/sighs again

Which is why it's the only thing I'm praying for constantly. Maybe if I prayed enough to the heavens, He would hear me and know that it's the only wish I want to come true.

I don't know. Maybe this is just one of those late-night ramblings that doesn't make sense. Maybe I just want to release this frustration somehow. Maybe I just really want it to happen.

But I will continue to hope. No matter what happens.

And I hope He is listening.

i guess it's normal?

2011-10-25T23:10:00.001+08:00

Here I go again.

So the moment presents itself and everything comes into play, but now that I can grasp that thought and it can turn into reality, I think I want to back out.

It's like what Barney Stinson said, "If you lived your whole life thinking one thing, it would be pretty devastating if you find out that wasn't true." I know he's right. Because that's how I feel right now.

I keep thinking, "What if my fairy tale romance with you cannot happen? What if I truly realize that I cannot reach you? What if nothing happens at all?"

Sometimes I feel like I am not ready for this, yet my undeniable desires persist (and naturally of course). I don't know. I hate it when I have conflicting emotions. But it's surely true that I do want to know what you are like. That is what has motivated me until this point after all. I still want to know who you are, despite all these shitty fears and unavoidable cowardice I seem to always have when it comes to you.

I don't want my dream to be shattered. That's another thing I am completely certain about. I don't want to wake up one morning, thinking, I don't have anything to live for any longer. That sounds a little extreme, I know, but I certainly do not want to even think about how that feels. I guess this is what I'm afraid of the most, this time.

But I shall try no matter what. Because that's what I promised you -- that no matter what, I will come to see you.

I will do everything because you are my only hope.

And I will never get tired of saying that.

does it matter?

2011-10-11T00:06:00.000+08:00

We have a very complicated relationship.
We are friends in a way, but somehow, not quite.
With the way we treat each other, as if... we are more than what or how we have labeled this connection.
The weird thing is... people around us have probably noticed it but we, the two of us, just dismiss it as if it isn't true.
So now, I am not sure what we really are.
Which brings me back to my original statement: We have a very complicated relationship.

Nevertheless, I think it goes to show at least how special relationship is, and I mean that in the most general sense of the word "relationship".
For instance, I love that he goes an extra mile only for me, doing things he doesn't normally do just because it's me (no matter how self-centered that sounds). It's as if he's afraid to disappoint me -- of which, sadly, I might be abusing to my own emotional advantage -- and, dare I say, lose me as a friend.
Maybe I mean a lot to him.
Maybe not.
Because the moment I expect that much from him, he does disappoint, and truthfully, while I have become used to that, it does sadden me a bit from time to time.

That is why I haven't expected further than only this.
Anything more will surely complicate things further between us.
And I don't want that.
I already am contended with the way things are, even if we don't talk regularly.
Weird, huh?

I don't know.
Maybe, even given how "mutual" (for lack of a better term) this is, because it's complicated -- after all, he has someone he likes more than just a friend -- and forbidden, this whole thing becomes an unspeakable matter even to the both of us.
Not that it should bother me nor that it actually does.
Perhaps it's better this way.
I got this emotional support without being in an actual relationship and while I get through (read: struggle through) this finding-my-soulmate-crap.
He's kind of my refuge at this point.
My real-life refuge.
I know I can't always count on him -- which is why I speak to him only when I need to and not when I want to -- but I also know that when I do, he will be there.
It's perfect.
And awesome.

I am blessed with great and awfully wonderful friends.
He's one of them, and I hope he will be for the rest of my life.

just like a fairy tale

2011-10-06T23:19:00.086+08:00

October 4, 2010

Hope falters.
Everything we've heard based on fairy-tale happy endings, maybe they were all just a lie.
It is never as easy as we think it is.
Uncertainty rises.
We never know if we have someone until it happens.
It is never as easy as we think it is.
But love thrives.
Clinging onto some invisible hope is my sickness; even when hope falters, and uncertainty rises, I believe that something can still happen.
It is never as easy as we think it is, but it doesn't mean we should stop trying.

And so I try.

October 5, 2010

Even when each of us are busy with our own lives, I never fail to think about you.
Whilst I hope that if ever we come to live under the same sky and breathe the same air, I wish that as your day comes, you realize that despite being in an imperfect world, life has treated you kindly and magnificently.
Because your happiness is my happiness, as cliched as that sounds.

If life would be much kinder to us, my only prayer is for fate to bring us together.
I would wish forever too.

So I do.

October 6, 2010

Dear Soulmate,

This day has been such a whirlwind, much like our history together (or rather, my history with you). It has been five years since I first saw you, and that was so long ago. During that span of time, I've experienced mystery, anxiety, disappointment, love, indifference, adoration, forgiveness, fear, courage and, of course, that never-ending hope I never seem to run out of. I even, dare I say, shifted my attention to someone else for more or less a year. While I admit that is a bit shameful, I prefer to call it a "learning" experience because that is how I discovered the reality of my situation with you, and how I am willing to do anything just to make fate bring us together, as desperate as that seems.

I've had my share of hopes, especially now that I know there is a chance for me to finally meet you, face-to-face, without the involvement of my rich imagination. Because you have resurfaced after so long -- even my parents noticed that -- my entire family has wanted to see you like I do. Well, not only you per se, you together with your friends, and of course I want to see them too. Now that chance is at hand, I shall take it without hesitation. And my God, I shall finally see you with these two eyes that have longed to lay upon you.

But before all of that happens, my journey of finding you again has been unusually easy, because apparently, I have never lost all of my feelings for you; in fact, they have become stronger now, for some reason I still cannot explain until now. I call it a miracle, actually, because even when I was completely adoring someone else (in your absence, mind you), at one point I still came back to you, halfway through during those five years. I never tried to understand it. I guess it was just that easy coming back to you.

Just as it was easy coming back, it was also easy to imagine you in my life again. I have incorporated you in my life in small but surreal ways. I've always thought it would freak you out someday, if you would happen to know about them at all, but they say that if you think it can happen, it will happen. That's the belief I've been holding onto for the longest time, if it makes you wonder how I am able to stay by your side.

Another reason I stay is... well, there have been times where I feel incredibly lonely. Given my situation right now, it's both ridiculous and inevitable. Ridiculous, because I know I am still young and still have many things to experience; and inevitable, because at my age I still haven't found someone who will have stayed by my side just because that's how much he cares about me. So once again, you are the only hope I have at this point in my life.

Many have come and gone in my life. Ever since I met you, I've probably had four encounters with love. Some I've regretted, some I haven't, but the bottomline is, whenever I get hurt, I turn only to you for emotional protection and comfort. I know, perhaps I have attributed this to an imaginary version of yourself, but still, for me that has helped a lot. But I wish it is all as easy as in real life.

Despite the odds against our future meeting, I have constantly been praying for us. You might find this silly, but really, I am merely doing everything I can just for this to happen. I am currently praying that we find each other in such a special way that we will never forget, for the simple reason that I want to be happy. Many in this world want that, even you, my soulmate, so I cannot see why it's unreasonable.

Lastly, my dear soulmate, after all these years of knowing you, there is only one thing in my mind that I want to say, and this is very important: I don't know what my life would have been if I hadn't met you. And I never want to know, because I bet that it sucks. You're the only reason I can bear this loneliness. Without you, I'd probably be struggling with my life harder, and I cannot imagine that for the life of me. In the end, I just want to thank you for being who you are, whatever our differences are, whatever disappointments I've had or you've had, whatever hardships we have gone through separately, because in the end, we will endure them together.

Soon, my dear, very soon.

With love,
Jessie

"Show me that good things come to those who wait..."

in all hopelessness

2011-07-02T00:55:00.032+08:00

It's been five years.

Almost five years, actually, but still a long time to me, to the both of us.

Although... getting older and more mature -- so to speak -- has some awful drawbacks.

Every now and then, I think about how possible we actually are, if we are possible at all. Another important person to me has helped me realize that we live in a very big world, and despite the possibilities, there are also things which are harder to achieve or even believe.

So I constantly ask myself, "Can we ever be what I dream us to be?"

Don't worry, I haven't lost all hope, especially with how optimistic I am. It's just that... I'm not sure. And while uncertainty brings a certain level of excitement and anticipation, a certain level of fear and worry is also inevitable.

Would a poem be better to express my feelings?

My unfazed adoration for you
Now plagued by fears and worry
That I cannot bear fully
Without weeping every single night

Such fondness towards you
Of which were not easily achieved
With all honesty, I admit
I find it difficult now to ignore

These haunting thoughts, never-ending
What should I do, my dearest
Should I continue to fight
For this very love and admiration
That has taught me to be free
Or should I run away and never turn back?

Abscond from this pain
At the same time from this joy...

But for reasons beyond me
I simply cannot leave these affections behind
I cannot live without everything
That has become because I met you

Terrors that persist cannot be denied
It has been hard enough thinking about
You very existence in my life
Much more the thought of finally seeing you
The very thought that leaves me terrified
Tirelessly fretting about what you will think of me
Or what I have done for you, for us

And there I go, tears running down my face
As if a river that's flowing endlessly

I never seem to know what to do
In the back of my head
I only want to do right by you
But I never know how
I don't know where to start

Losing the only thing I have...
Hope. Love. Happiness.

Well, it says a lot, doesn't it?

Fears are eminent. A realization of the reality we are in also made me realize my fears. What if you just ignore me? What if you don't find me interesting? What if I never have the chance to meet you face-to-face?

What if we are not meant to be?

Just thinking about it breaks my heart to a million pieces. It's hard to have hope, but I still do because it's the only thing that makes me happy right now. All this talk about meeting and finding your soulmate in your lifetime, it makes me wonder why I haven't found mine yet, or why I haven't found anyone at all. Thinking that we can be together someday helps me go through life without wasting it away. Everyday I look in the mirror and tell myself that I should take care of my well-being, because of you, of us.

Only you. It's always been only you.

Now if fate can only bring us together the way I've always wished it can, hoping it will never be too late for either of us.

I'm in love with you.

Isn't that already enough to convince fate?

this is no goodbye

2011-04-04T00:15:00.003+08:00

While it seems timely that I end my blog's run with that open letter, I actually have no plans of abadoning this blog. After all, I've always used this blog to reveal my deepest, darkest emotions, and this is the only place I can reveal anything and everything about myself.

And I think it's appropriate to continue writing in this blog with another product of my secretive thoughts. ;)

I don't believe that I can never have you.
It's not about fate bringing us together in the future;
it's about fate having brought us together now.
It is a long way ahead, but it's not impossible.
I believe in us.
No matter what, I believe we will be together someday.
Someday.
And I will wait for that day to come.

Until then,
I will stay here, loving you with all my strength will allow.

I love you.
Don't you ever forget that.

Happy 2011 Everyone!!!

Oh and Happy 5th Anniversary to this blog. It's been a wonderful (not necessarily problem-free) five years. :) ♥♥♥

finally, it is written

2010-10-18T13:48:00.001+08:00

This is partly inspired by a person who expressed the same thing about the same person... almost. And while it's not anyone's special day today (or any time soon, for that matter), when I watched that video of hers, I couldn't help but cry my eyes out, because just like that person to her, this person means a lot to me in more ways than one.

Dear My Sweet Prince,

I am addressing you using this open letter for the first time, as I have been, until now, writing to you through letters found in a small notepad, which I always carry with me. My reason for finally doing an open letter? A person who has openly declared her feelings to someone she admired so much through a written message (albeit online) and a video message. And even though those messages could have had zero chances of reaching him, even though he does not know that she exists at all, she still chose to express her feelings because she knows, within herself, that those feelings are real. Because of that, it didn't hold her back to say what she wanted to say to him.

And so, this is my brave attempt to do the same, to express my feelings for you; that even though there is a little chance for you to read this, I hope to someday, somehow, convey my utmost gratitude to you, because you have been my refuge for the past two years.

Two years.

During the first year, you were someone who just happened to creep his way into my heart without me knowing it. For me, it had been fun watching you, the way you mock others and proclaim yourself as someone who can do anything, and I admit I thoroughly enjoyed that particular side of yours.

But the second year came, and as I bounced back from a once-abandoned arena, I came back slowly but surely, because I knew I had to make it up to you. Then these feelings, I've realized, have started to root themselves deeper in me. Before I knew it -- just like how I've come to like you -- you have become someone whom I think about every single day, whether it is because I "need" to see you or because I want to see you. Either way, it has also become a habit for me that I should give my attention to you significantly. Honestly I have no idea why I feel obligated to do such, but in the back of my mind, I always feel like it's been pulling me back whenever I stray from it.

It's as if, after all the straying, shifting my attention away, I still end up coming back to you.

I guess, circumstances around you also fanned the flames of such feelings within me. Just as often as you mock and make fun of other people, people tend to judge you based on that persona only often as well, when you always, always have a different side to your personality other than what is normally seen. And I have always seen that different side. You make it a point that people do not see you as one-dimensional. But because of that misjudgment, you appear fragile and vulnerable -- although I bet other people can't see that in you -- and to me, that is just a cry for help.

I realize that you may not be as fragile as I make of you, but somehow, I can feel the hurt inflicted upon you. Words are just words, impressions are just impressions, but one cannot deny that even the simplest of impressions and words can inflict such a great amount of pain. Even if you claim you are the least emotionally-driven person in this world, certainly there are times when you cannot bear it anymore, and for that, I promise to stay by your side, supporting your every endeavor even when no one dares to.

And that is all I can give you after all what you have done for me. You have changed my life in so many ways, I cannot even imagine my life without having met you. You might think this is weird, because I have never met you and you do not know that I exist, and I know you enough to realize that you will most probably find this creepy, but the truth is... you mean a lot to me. You do, because as I've said, you have done so much for me. You're always there when I feel sad; when I feel like giving up, you become this ray of hope that pushes me to keep going. Whether you are aware of this fact or not, I am fairly certain that you are happy with what you are doing. And for that, I am happy, too. Every time you express how much happy you are, my world brightens without hesitation.

In all honesty, I do not know how on earth I will be able to satisfy these strong feelings. I may have helplessly attached myself to you; and helpless is right, because I am now deep within this trap, and I know what even if I wanted to, I would not be able to get out of it anymore. Helpless, because, honestly, I have no clue what to do with you, with these feelings. I wish I could say how much I care about you. More than any other guy -- any other "real" guy -- I have fallen for. Albeit in my wildest fantasies, I think of various scenarios about us, but in the end, I can only wish that you would be happy, and stay happy.

I love you with all my heart, and your happiness is my way of sending you my love.

I can only wish you the best,
Jessie

This is for you: 私の王子様、二宮和也。 I hope this reaches you someday. ジェシーより。

macros and stories and things like that

2010-10-07T11:40:00.002+08:00

・Japanese-speaking friends, I have a concern. How do you refer to it when Nino does the salute thing? Is it the same in Japanese as in English - the "salute" meaning of the word per se? If you would help me, I'd give you my first born. XD ~~I'm planning to put it on the uchiwa for the Nagoya con :D~~

・As posted in lolzstorm, a brain child with Aika: CLICK HERE TO SEE IT BECAUSE IT'S TOO BIG LMAO.

・Randomly, do any of my new friends use Twitter? Follow meeeeeee: jadenmd
(I remembered since I followed Mich quite randomly 8D)

・Just to amuse you :D
Me: Dad, look!
Dad: *approaches*
Me: *shows that MSta perf where Nino played the guitar*
Dad: *did not see the face*
Dad: Is that MatsuJun?
Me: No! It's Nino. ;P
Dad: Ooh.
Dad: He's good.
Dad:
Dad: He plays the piano too, right?
Me: Yup. And bass. And drums.
Dad: He can be a one-man band then.
Inner Me: MTE.
Dad: [I suppose] That's why you like him, huh. He's multi-talented.

Also, these past few days we're together, I kept playing Boku no Miteiru Fuukei in the car. I can play T.A.B.O.O without him getting suspicious!! LOL. Plus he can recognize Jun's and Aiba's voices! Upon hearing Come back to me and Magical Song. And I did not tell him. :DDD

・A friend of my sister commented upon seeing my Nino concert photoset: Nino looks like MatsuKen (L from Death Note, to be exact). Kei!! Death Note Ohmiya version is slowly becoming a reality! LMAO.

・Speaking of, I met Kei recently! She's as awesome in real life, I'm telling you. It was such a short meeting, but I really enjoyed it. Fun to meet you, dear! WE'LL DO IT AGAIN. :D ♥♥♥

...what thesis? (I refuse to think of anything negative rn. Now you know why.)

Also hai I'm alive 8D ♥

surprise! (sort of)

2010-09-16T11:39:00.000+08:00

...what's this?

This is actually ~~a surprise for~~ Kei to whom I promised a Nino/Meisa ~~fic~~ drabble. ...which doesn't really have Meisa in it, lolol. I'm sorry dear, I really tried XD

Title: Differently
Rating: G

Nino tried to ignore it.

It had been fine when they had first co-starred in Haikei, Chichiue-sama, when she had a guest spot on VIP Room, and when she appeared on a VS Arashi Special (where the two of them even had a Falling Pipe battle against one another).

But it was already the last straw when Meisa came to Himitsu no Arashi-chan’s Ranking Derby segment, where she threw several playful taunts at him on national television. Nino had been used to being taunted like that, but with the way that she used this as a method to catch his attention (she did it more than thrice, after all) was a bit annoying for him.

Actually, it was driving him insane more than anything else.

What he felt finally made sense with how he reacted at the time: he’d rather accept the sharp-tongued quips than make a ruthless retort; he’s known for doing the latter all the time, which made it more bizarre. But everything made sense when his heart went crazy at the mere sight of Meisa flipping her dark locks.

That’s when he realized he could not ignore it anymore – he had already fallen helplessly in love.

P.S. Yes, I am still a very hopeless romantic at heart. XD

AIBA!YAY 8D

2010-09-05T11:37:00.001+08:00

YOU GAIZ.

I can't believe I've never seen this gif posted yet.

Let's just say that is the gif of celebration because my first term (er, semester, whatever) for this year in school is done! \o/

Now all I have to worry about is thesis proper and internship, but yeah, it's not like I haven't gone through an internship before. (For those who don't know, it is in fact, my third one already |D) So yeah. For the meantime, one-week vacation! :DDD

So while I bum around the house for 10 days, I started to watch All the BEST! Clips 1999-2009 again. Thoughts? *checks Twitter feed*

- NGL, I kept lol'ing through the first half. Mostly because of Jun (haha, okay, brick me), but. Okay there's no "but". It's because of Jun. *gets bricked* XD
But yes, Jun's shift from beaver-teeth to DoS banchou came about in Nice na Kokoroiki, I believe. :D

- Honestly, as I watched almost everything again, my bias has started to incline to Sho again. Maybe because of his Hadashi no Mirai appearance where, despite his orange (?) hair, he still looked damn good. *_____*
And his own transition (from cute little chipmunk with cute little voice to manly!Sho) came about in Kansha Kangeki Ame Arashi. :D *is proud for discovering that XD*

...okay Sho, I give up. You're my niban again ~~right after Taiga melted me with his earnest and sincere attitude~~. Happy now? XD

- And of course, my all-time favorite Ninomiya!hair (...lol I seldom call him by his last name unless he's done something adlk;sfdsks-inducing and yes he just did *see WU Oct 2010*) is still from the WISH era, 2005. I love that emo!hair sfm. UNF NINOMIYA. UNFFFFFFFF. *o*

- I love Aozora Pedal for so many reasons, mostly because of the PV: the fact that Nino came up with it, the story itself, and somehow, Jun's involvement gave an oomph to the cliche of unrequited love. I love his character most of all, ngl. ♥

- But! My favorite PV of all-time is Happiness (same with Aiba-chan! o/). ♥ Love how they just naturally goof around. I'm happy that the boys associated it with Hadashi no Mirai too (Ohno's favorite <3), because I did and always thought those two were the most fun PVs ever. ♥

Just because. I'mma share these two incidents with my family about Arashi ~~yet again~~.
Me: *watching All the Best! Nino's commenting*
Dad: *enters the room, watches*
Dad:
Dad: Is he kind?
Me:
Me: *snrk* ...depends.
Dad: ?
Me: Depends on what you mean by "kind". *snrk* He is, generally. (I just couldn't explain how bratty he is because that needs like, a novel's worth of explanation. LMAO.)

Then something happened a week ago, when my sister sent me a text message.
Sis: Am I going to the Arashi concert too?
Me: Why, don't you want to? Either way, I got two tickets. :D
Sis: Of course I want to!!!!!!!!
(...that's a lot of exclamation points, I know. XD)

And I leave you my current niban's moment of glory:

♥♥♥

Also, you should check out the newest scans (WU, Duet, Potato). Nino tried to killed me thrice in a row. Would you believe that guy?! D: (Aika knows what I'm talking about. D: )

if anyone still cares...

2010-08-29T11:36:00.000+08:00

CHANGE OF PLANS.

...for the Japan trip, I mean. XD

Since the main reason of going to Osaka by late October is because of Arashi concert there and I can't get tickets this early, my mom suggests that we drop by Nagoya from Osaka instead and move the trip date to December. I don't care really about my birthday as long as I get to go. XD

So we had to ask a relative there (yes, we do have one living in Japan lol) for ways to get tickets without going through auctions ourselves, and now, there comes a way.

Only that one ticket costs around ￥70000.

My mistake was I didn't tell my mom about the price and she was, well, surprised. XD

She tells me if I'm willing to go – despite the risk of not knowing where I'll be seated – she'll tell our relative to buy the tickets by tomorrow, I think. And she goes, "If it's half the price I'm willing to buy them for you. But it's not, so how do we go about it?"

Honestly, I didn't know how to convince her, because she kind of does not understand my obsession with Arashi. (My dad does. A lot. 8D) So I tell her, in the end, "I know that the prices are like that, Mom."

And she goes, "Oh. But are you willing to go? Do you think it's worth it?"

Well, the only thought that runs through my head? "If I can't go now, when will I go?"

Finally: "I want to."

Then I go on telling her if that the money is the problem, I might have savings enough for it. (Yes, I am thrify as hell like Nino, but as generous as Sho. How do I still have money...? I guess I'm really just lucky. LOL.) Well, for one, avoiding shopping, in general, has been advantageous to me, I believe. |D

She pauses. Then, "Well, we can split. If you really want to go."

...honestly, now I feel kind of guilty, lmao. Hmm, maybe it's because I don't think I convinced her, but I guess the fact that she knew I really wanted to go is already enough. I-It's just. Please tell me I did the right thing! XD;;

Anyway, so I hope to finish my thesis before December 3 so that I can go XD;; THIS IS MY ONLY MOTIVATION OKAY. I've been tired these past 3 months because of this thesis proposal ~~that's not even finished~~. Another three months of this and it's over. *chants*

Oh well, so much for that. I don't even know if the tickets are from an auction too; my dad suddenly bursted into my room (while I'm writing this) just to ask me that. |D

ETA: ~~Crap I just realized: I didn't ask what date it was lolol.~~ Okay, my dad tells me it's on the 4th. So we have to leave on December 2. Funny enough, I can share another anecdote that involved my dad ~~yet again~~ 8D

Dad: So how's that, you don't know where you'll be seated? *asks a whole lot of seating questions*
Me: The seller would most probably not tell us where until I get the tickets.
Dad: Oh. Hope that it's near the stage or something! So you can see Nino dance like this~ *dances with his hips*
Me: LOL. I hope so, Dad.
Dad: And point at you like this~ *points a la Nino*
Me: XD

...he really knows Arashi concerts, if you ask me. ♥

orz i fail, don't i

2010-08-22T11:32:00.001+08:00

...*peeps in*

I KNOW. I don't really want to make excuses, but. THESIS. BLOODY STINKING THESIS. ;____;

To spare you from rants ~~about how our thesis defense sucked~~, instead:

News about RL! *dun dun dunnnn*

OMG. I think I just convinced my parents to go to Japan in October. On my birthday. *___*

But I've a lot of dilemmas, like
(1) I don't know where to go: Osaka or Tokyo? If we go to Tokyo, we've already been there before and while I'm perfectly aware that we haven't sweeped the entire city yet, it's always nice to go to a different place. Osaka, it is, most probably.
~~(2) When we will be going. On the week of my birthday (October 8) or late October? The problem here is that there will be a huge celebration in November 1 for my grandmother. D:~~ My parents already allowed me to go to Osaka on the 29th, but the dilemma below this remains.

So you can see the problem now. Which leads me to my third dilemma:
(3) To watch a concert in Fukuoka (since Ant will) or in Osaka. The bigger problem lies with of course, not being a part of the FC in the first place and of course, not having someone to go with. New problem: How to get tickets for Osaka Kyosera Dome con on the 29th.

*sighs* Problems of a fangirl, lol.

HALP. If you girls know where I can get tickets (just so I know whether it's actually possible or not haha ^^;;), please let me know right away. My mom and dad are already bugging me to make a decision ASAP. orz

In other news, this will be the last week of regular school for me, and while I know it'll be super hectic, after this will be a breath of fresh air. WISH ME LUCK, LOVES. ♥

calling all ohmiya!flailing buddies~

2010-07-17T20:29:00.000+08:00

Just to share with you, I've been rewinding this ~~happiness~~ cute moment of our OTP (♥):

I love how Ohno instinctively nudges Nino for embarrassing him and Nino just unconsciously nudges back. I is a happy fangirl. ♥

brb still giggling

a summary of yesterday's MSta

2010-07-10T20:27:00.000+08:00

...via my Twitter account. XD

Mini-Sute:

Ooh Arashi's in Mini-sute again. Must be because of how interesting their antics are. LOL

In Mini-sute, Sho doing the Monster gesture. That's from two months ago!! :P

There's something different about Sho's hairstyle...

LOL "hentai pianist". I knew Sho was a subtle pervert. *shot*

Still lovin' Nino's new hair~. ♥ (Yes, I'm aware that it's been weeks.)

Sho's playing Hey Jude on the piano?! Coolness. That's my Keio boy. XD

Music Station (the whole show):

I love how Ohno's hair doesn't change color but the style goes back to his usual one when he doesn't have a drama. XD

I hope someone records and/or subs this Mother's Song segment. I love Arashi's reactions to the children. :3

Aiba, your family is so funny. The fun personality certainly runs in the blood. XD

lol I love you Ohno. XD Why are you surpised that you're number 2?? :P

And I love how you can hear Sho's and Nino's laugh even without appearing on-screen. ♥

These boys don't have shame to fool around anymore even if it's not their show; the way Nino & Aiba did the 'douzo' gesture for TUBE. XD

Ok Arashi tiem. LOL a proposal question. These guys really are in the marrying age. XD Sho & Nino calling Nishino Kana "Hime". <3

Interaction of Koda Kumi and Arashi. <333 And lol, MatsuJun representing Arashi in proposing. XDD

Ohno wanting to join in the conversation on his own. ♥ He's raising his hands! :P

I'd marry you Aiba even if you fake-coughed the proposal. UGH commercial!!

I'm surprised (not rly) that this doesn't have choreography. XD But omg I love live performances. ♥

ShoNeen!! lasddsfj :3 And they sang the entire song?! *glee*

Okay, ngl, I literally squealed when Nino sang the "Yeaaaahh~" part. TOTALLY SQUEALED.

A Tanaka Kei CM!! /random

Oh hai hyde. You're blonde. XD

Upon repeating the performance:

omg my ichibaaaaan. Why so good at doing back-up vocals?! *melts*

omg I didn't notice that. Aiba and Sho moment right at the bridge part!! Aibaka whysocute. ♥

I love this performance now for so many reasons. ;___; ♥

Amazing control, Nino. I'm a proud fangirl. ;__; *keeps on repeating MSta perf*

Obviously I flailed a lot. And it didn't help when Aika went online and flailed with me some more. LOL. ♥

How about you? How did you find the performance of To be free in MSta? :D

hisashiburi~!

2010-07-09T20:17:00.003+08:00

...almost. XD I did post about my Japan adventures (though the second day only *ducks*), and while Kitsie is coercing me to post the third day, I haven't really finished writing it. Getting there, though! ♥ *ducks again*

ANYWAY. I came here to do two things:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Tinshiee!!! ♥
I hope it's been a great birthday for you! Wish you all the best and I hope we get to know
each other even more!! :D

And a meme. Which I haven't done in ages.

1) Post a list of up to 20 books/movies/anime/TV shows/video games/bands etc. that you've had an obsessive fannish love or interest in at some time in your life.
2) Have your f-list guess your favorite character/member from each item/band.
3) When someone guesses correctly, strikethrough the item band and put the name of your favorite character/member next to it.

~~1. Whose Line is it Anyway?~~ Ryan Stiles (by Betty).
~~2. House, M.D.~~ Dr. James Wilson (by Betty). ♥
~~3. The Office (U.S.)~~ Jim Halpert (by Ant).
~~4. Psych (TV Series)~~ Shawn Spencer (by Betty). Shawny~! ♥
~~5. Backstreet Boys~~ Brian Littrell (finally by Kei). XD
~~6. Hanazakari no Kimitachi e (the J-drama)~~ Nakatsu Shuichi (by Kei, Aika also guessed right!).
~~7. Arashi (DUH)~~ Ninomiya Kazunari (by Kei).
~~8. Doctor Who~~ Tenth Doctor (by Ant).
~~9. Kimi wa Petto~~ Momo/Gouda Takeshi (by Aika).
10. Super Junior* Kim Heechul and Lee Hyukjae (Eunhyuk) (by Betty).
~~11. Nodame Cantabile~~ Chiaki Shinichi (by Ant).
~~12. You're Beautiful (the K-drama)~~ Hwang Tae Kyung (by Ant).
~~13. V6 (hah thought you wouldn't see this huh)~~ Miyake Ken (by Kei). ...I'm so predictable. XDDD
~~14. Ryuusei no Kizuna~~ Ariake Koichi (by Aika).
~~15. Yamada Tarou Monogatari~~ Mimura Takuya (by Aika).
~~16. The Big Bang Theory~~ Dr. Sheldon Cooper (by Betty).
~~17. The Beatles~~ John Lennon (by Ant).
~~18. Glee (I really love Mr. Schu but only for his voice. :3)~~ Artie Abrams (by Aika). ♥
19. Harry Potter* Draco Malfoy (by Kei). The other one is Ron Weasley. :)
~~20. Saturday Night Live* (current seasons)~~ Bill Hader (by Betty). The other one is Andy Samberg. :3 And I didn't include The Lonely Island, because they're not really cast members. If I did, Jorma Taccone would another favorite, so.

Note: The asterisks (*) indicate that in that particular fandom, I have two favorites, so even if you answer either of the two and I'll strike it out. :D

SOME OF THESE ARE REALLY OBVIOUS. Actually, most of them are. XD;;

ETA: Kei and Aika are hijacking my entry. LOL.
ETA2: Everything's been answered now!! But you can still comment with thoughts on my favorites, of course. :D ♥

Anyway, if anyone cares~ I'm still alive, although thesis is really sucking the life out of me. ;___; Thankfully my thesismates (and BFFs ♥) and I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel (translation: we have direction in our paper)! \o/

That's all, really. LOL. See you lovelies soon! ♥

ka-i kai ka-i~

2010-06-12T23:22:00.000+08:00

~~KAIBUTSU-KUN IS SO CUTE. /random~~

Before I give updates, I shall catch your attention using an adorable (? I consider it funny tbh) Aiba gif:

Now that I have your attention... 8D

I know what to do on Nino's birthday! o/
My LJ friends on Twitter might have already known about this but, in case you don't, I shall be doing a picspam. A little old-fashioned as far as the fandom is concerned, but I won't fail you if I do decide to accompany it with ~~lengthy~~ descriptions. I don't want it to end up like a giant-ass essay though.
Ooh, and Kitsie suggested that I do a themed picspam. Not that I don't think I can do it (you know, actually come up with a theme and stuff like that), but I might restrict myself to like a theme. Just wait and see. :D

Nodame the movie! Part 1
I've finished watching the movie (heck I had been waiting a looong time for even just the first movie) and... I just want to watch the second movie soon. That's what I felt. Ant told me beforehand that it did not have much story as it usually did, and well, she was quite right. It did introduce the climax, I think, which will be resolved in the next movie. I think it just lacked the usual Nodame/Chiaki tension we used to get in bulk, but it's nice to see that Chiaki does not deny his relationship with Nodame anymore. :D :D :D

Oh well, another three months for the second movie? :/

Back to school! *groans*
Yes, I am back to school after FIVE months, and I think the worst part of having an internship before another academic term is that you forget (or rather, lessen the motivation) to study hard. I remember my boss telling me that she finds work easier than college, which is, to some extent, true for me as well. Huh. And now it's time for thesis (!!!) and we have to work our butts off to finish it so we can graduate next year.
...I hope we get out of this alive.

New friends, old friends...
Ironically, I'm technically a senior now, but I guess there's an urge (which I never had before, I think) for me to join an organization just to have friends, rather than gain the experience. So yeah. And because of my friend since high school, I've learned that there's actually three other Arashi fangirls – I've already met one! – in my current university! That's aside from my other three or four friends, btw. So I'm excited to meet the rest. :D (I find it pretty rare to find Arashi fans when Kpop is booming right now. XD)
The old friends part...? I've been talking to Betty for the longest time! And she's pushing me to write all these things, I-I don't even. XD I'll try to finish them all up when I've used all my brain cells, lmao. (But ILU Betty, you know that~ ♥)

Shiyagare, Sakumoto and Sho
Shiyagare first ep, to be precise. (But I have watched Shimuken's too, and well, Arashi as Baka Tono freaks me out tbh. XD) I loved the entire episode, simply because in fairness, the roles that were given to them were quite fitting (except Jun's, but hey, the boy's getting less uptight nowadays, right? ;D) and Sho kept cracking me up with his ~*knowledge bits*~. Nino's "ARE YOU IN MANNER MODE?!" also killed me ~~because it was cute how he did it >.<~~.

And of course there's Sakumoto. This pairing, although has been part of my OT3 (with Aiba-chan :3), was not as abundant as it was two years ago when I started fangirling them, but since they'd had history together (yes I am making it sound like a drama), the affections between them are gearing up all over again. IDK, Jun's getting back to the Let's-Fanboy-Sho bandwagon and Sho's not as uptight as he was 10 years ago, so. IDK. (I love how Sho told everyone in AnShi about the concert date they had, though. XD)

Aaaand of course no one will believe me if I say that Sho has NOT been my niban for the past few weeks. Ohno and Aiba became my nibans in the past two months, and Jun in increments, so Sho did not have a chance. Until that Shiyagare episode. His 「ヤダ～！」 reaction in the haggling segment is so adorable. :3 ...actually I just included this bit so I could complete 3S's in the title. *bricked*

As as afterthought: My sister* keeps insisting that she thinks Matsumoto Jun is gay. And I'm like, "Really, how could you possibly think that?" |D

*She loves Sho. ...no wonder, right? XD

[untitled]

2010-05-09T16:35:00.003+08:00

how come...
there is still an image of you
that is floating inside my head
even when i don't think about you?

i cannot sleep
as my heart is aching
should have i forgotten?
would that be better instead?

i realize
i have lost this fight
knowing that in the end
i would not forget you
there is no way i could have

and tonight
my cries cannot even reach you

it has been so long
but it still remains in my heart
the pain i tried to forget

i told muyself before
"i have never felt so contented"
"you were here, with me, because i needed you"
"i am happy even if things just stay this way"
but now i cannot imagine
how, why everything has turned out this way

apparently
i still like you after all this time

...apparently.

i'm boring and only write about fandom dreams

2010-04-26T16:27:00.000+08:00

...also to let you know ~~for the umpteenth time~~ that yes, I am alive. I just happen to be lazy during summer time to post anything. (And hey, what do you know, I have a social life after all! XD)

So how have you friends been? ♥

Well, for me:

- After Holy Week (aka April 5-8) was the week of my final report. I'd have to make a report of my entire three-month internship at my company, written and oral. Imagine how much sleep I lost during that week. (Hint: I slept at 4am the "night" before the report)

- Been with friends at work/college (applicable to both, since, you know, my friends at work were my friends in college), had sleepover with cousins ~~karaoke!!~~, and yeah basically enjoying my vacation so far. :)

- Speaking of vacation, my parents and I are coming to Singapore in May!! YAY!! Who here are from Singapore again? There's , I think... who else? (I-I have a faulty memory, it's not your fault |D)

And the real reason of this post:

I dreamt of MatsuJun and Sho, but on different nights.
(Rly, I ship Sakumoto kkk.)

So okay, dream with MatsuJun. (Why on earth am I calling him "MatsuJun" now?! Since when?! XDDD) A few nights earlier, I was not feeling well, and I think that transcended into my subconsciousness or something, because suddenly, I was dreaming that Jun and Nino were at my bedside. Like being my visitors because I was sick. And, get this, Jun suddenly got all aggressive and lay down ~~on top of me~~ and, well... we made out. XD

(Nino disappeared from the dream too, just as when Jun pounced on me.
...he's going to kill me, isn't he. lolol)

Then there's that dream with Sho. This one has had a stronger impression on me than the one with Jun, believe it or not XD. Basically, I was in an event, like a private party at a restaurant of some sort, and I think the main guests were Arashi? Because it felt that way for me, and I know Nino (and Aiba and Jun) were there... *mumbling*

Anyway! I found Sho sitting alone in one of the tables, so I asked him to come with me. (The logic here is that since he's not socializing – which, come to think of it, is rather odd for him – he might as well come with me so that's he with someone, at least) In other words, for the entire duration of the party, he's trailing behind me, talking with me about random things. He even went with me when I went to my own apartment (!!) to get some things.

Of course, the fangirl in me is in absolute joy that I get to be friends with a member of Arashi. :P I wonder if the real 櫻井翔 would even bother do that. XD;;

FYI, in case you're curious, I'm such on an Ohno high lately, so I have no idea why Jun and Sho are the ones appearing in my dreams. Trying to reclaim the spot in my heart, boys? *shot*

Also, I MISS YOU ALL ;____; ♥♥♥

omg omg a Jun!dream shot by Jun

2010-03-09T16:02:00.001+08:00

HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT. I had a dream about MatsuJun. A homosexual dream about MatsuJun—*bricked*

But really, I'm not kidding. I wish I was.
So this was how it went:

There was this 24hrTV-like event, on which Jun and Aiba were supposed to go to a rural place (much like a normal rural province in my country) to in order to help for a day a woman who had 17 children... and limited herself to 20 kids if ever. (...I know. XD) So at some point the two help the family set up a picnic outside their house, lots of kids running around, and Aiba started to lay the mat on the floor. Jun arrived late (just like I always think he does XD) bringing some food with him.

THEN. A boy who's about 15 years old suddenly rushed to MatsuJun and then surprised him with a confession rant (or something). He went on and went on about how cool Jun is, basically, and then wrapped his arms around Jun's neck and kissed him! (I wish I really was just making this up. XD) Of course our little Junnie was shocked at first but then, um... yeah. I don't know why my imagination is so vivid sometimes. orz

My dream jumped to a scene where the boy was arguing with his mother in their home (sans AibaJun), which then led to a bedroom scene with the mom and her husband (lolol). Which did not happen at all because the husband did not really want to do it. LOL. Then the mom complained about how her son was misbehaving, etc. and how dare he to actually go on with Jun and Aiba.

...then the scene in the car. Aiba and Jun headed back to Tokyo – the boy was actually with them – and Aiba was driving; the boy was sitting on the passenger seat and Jun at the back (I guess the logic behind this is that Jun wanted to stretch out his legs or something XD). THE END.

The "Jun = gay" image in my dream probably had something to do with a friend told me that day. Actually, we've been friends since freshman year in college, but we have only gotten closer here in our internship stint (we work at the same company). He had known about my "Japanese idols" obsession for a year now, but did not get to know about Arashi until this year. He obviously knows Nino now, although he first thought "Arashi" was another person. ROFL. He always mentions Kame too! (Because another friend was obsessed with him.)

Anyway, one day I brought my Arashi official photos at work, and he was curious so I let him browse through it.

He saw this one:

And said, "omg gay!" XD Then he got to recognize Aiba and Ohno.

Then he saw this:

And pointed out, "No offense, but the guy on the right looks gay. Just by looking at his [body] structure... I mean, compared to the one on the right..." (I was rofl'ing inside, you don't know how much XD)

In fairness to him, just by looking at pictures he could identify 3/5 of Arashi – Ohno, Aiba and Jun. Ironically, he still confuses Nino with Sho for some reason, when two of his friends have them as their favorites. XD

But here he identified them correctly:

Maybe because the succeeding photos were all Nino's? XD

One funny thing I can't forget about was when he suddenly asked me: "Why do you like Nino? Is it because he's handsome?" And I honestly couldn't put it into words without having a monologue, so I just told him, "Yeah, but it's also because he's a songwriter." And that's true, actually. Gimmick Game is the one at fault for all of this mess. LOL.

Oh and I have been trying to introduce Arashi to my other best friend in college, who's basically into Taiwanese celebrities (primarily because she's Chinese). I'm honestly not trying to convert her – *struck by lightning* – but apparently she likes them now too! Although she's not fangirling them, which is fine by me, l-lol.

Anyway! Her impressions: She deems Nino as the most good-looking, just like my Sho!fangirl best friend Jenny tells me all the time (and hey, apparently I have taste! XD); Jun does not appeal to her that much (don't worry, to me the Jun-bait power is still strong ...like how he smiles and/or laughs dorkily and I melt instantly); and she still confuses Ohno and Sho, oddly. These people need to have their eyes checked. XD;;

Btw, I loved that guesting on Utaban. Did you see how hot Nino was? *____* Taka-san will never not be funny to me. XDD (And Sho and Nino are gay? *gasp*)

Oh and my next post would be my first day in Japan. Look forward to it! :)

i can has multiple fandom 8D

2010-03-05T09:26:00.005+08:00

While I ~~impatiently~~ wait for Oh-oku previews to come out (Did you know that they hadn't started shooting yet? :o ), admittedly I have been busy with other fandoms... sort of.

YAY BSB! \o/
So okay, this Saturday, the boys (yes I still call them that) came here to Manila for their This is Us tour. As some of you know, I've been a fan of them for a very long time – first fandom in fact – so obviously I wouldn't miss this even if this was already the second time I'd be seeing them. XD Anyway, enough background. Let's jump to thoughts, okay?

- The video screen! So colorful. ^o^ It was also fun how they showed videos in-between costume changes, those movie spoofs of each member. For instance, Howie spoofed the Fast and the Furious, "exchanging dialogues" with Vin Diesel; AJ did the Fight Club (with Edward Norton); Bri did Enchanted (and his role? The singing prince XD); and Nick did the Matrix. Which got like the most screams. ...Then again, he had the most screams throughout the entire concert. The Philippines is a Nick Carter country. XD

- They sang old (and well-known) songs, as well as the ones from the new album. They didn't sing the ones from Unbreakable – first album of the four of them – and they sang almost half of the new one. It was weird how the songs were the type to grow on you (like some Arashi songs, actually) instead of like them right away.

- Confession: Brian Littrell was, is and will always be my favorite member. I am truly in love with his voice, and his goofy side just enhances this perfection. (Ugh, I'm so biased.) He really sounds the same, whether live or recording, and well, the boys generally do sound great live anyway. And he loves to goof around on stage, I've noticed. At one point he even tried to use his mic stand as a javelin and mimicked a throw towards AJ. XD

- The concert was great, I almost forgot how surreal it felt to watch those people you've admired for so long live and in person. While our seats were good enough (we could see the stage clearly even if people stood up), I kind of regret how far we were from the stage. My sister and I were in the correct side (i.e. Brian always went to that side), but he was giving so much fanservice to the ones near him that I really felt envious. :( And that's actually setting aside the fact that I did get a fanservice from him (...sort of) four years ago. Well, what are you going to do with a greedy fangirl? XD I swear I will get that fanservice from him someday. LOL

...Should I post videos? Photos? What else? XD

Another ~~Boyband~~ Idol Group?
As it turns out, I will also be watching the Super Junior concert in April. I was really hesitant at first, because it's crazy expensive, like more than a month's worth of my allowance at work (I kid you not). I had said "yes" to my BFF, who said she'd be going. When I learned that the reservation's wonky and since I just paid for the BSB con – I paid for my sister too ;-; – I decided to back out. Turned out Jenny couldn't afford the con as well, so she backed out too. Then another friend asked us to come, just this weekend actually XD. We were all willing to go for the cheapest ~~seat~~ section anyway, so. That's how I will watch the con now. XD

Now I can't wait! (I am so fickle orz) I get to ~~breathe the same air~~ see ~~Heechul~~ Hyukjae!! :3 ♥

P.S. Mom asked me if I was willing to pay for an Arashi concert about six times more expensive than what I paid for the BSB con, and I said yes. Because, I told her, I would be missing half of my life if I didn't grab that chance. Am I right ladies? :/

And now for some TV talk~
One of the perks of this on-the-job training is that usually when I get home I don't have to worry about anything ( = no homework!!). So lately I try to watch an entire series/season every week since February. Started with Glee, You're Beautiful, Kisarazu Cat's Eye. Then The Big Bang Theory. One thing I love about BBT ~~aside from Sheldon AND Raj and Howard/Raj lol~~ is the dialogue plus the delivery of the actors. So perfectly cast. *o*

And then there's my old love for Psych rekindling. LOL. Which is what I'm busy with this week. ;D I kind of randomly remember the conversation I had with Jeffer about Sheldon and Shawn annoying each other to wits' end. XD

And most importantly...
5x10DVDHOMG!!
Sometimes I really adore ~~Johnny-san~~ JE for doing things like this. Honestly, the DVD release is earlier than I expected (although I'm secretly hoping it would be April), especially when the last concert just ended less than two months ago. AND YAY FOR THE COVERAGE OF OTHER CONS!!! ~~Matsumiya kiss! kadljfkd~~ It's like I went to all the concerts. During these times I want to marry Johnny-san's brain. *_____*

So what are your thoughts, lovelies? ♥

My RL? I saw him again. Yes, the one I "passionately" ranted about in my last post. I've never felt so awkward in my life (and here I thought I would feel my heart burst the next time I'd see him. Hint: It didn't). When I saw him, sitting on a bench at school, I even did a double take to check if it was really him, and turned out it was, so I greeted him. I stopped walking, and he was surprised to see how I was dressed (just to give you an image: it was like I was having a strolling date in the park XD), there had been ~*silence*~ after. Then I just said, "Thesis?" and he nodded and I walked off and he bade me goodbye.

I was surprised that I didn't feel anything except only disbelief. Huh. That's how fast I can recover? Did I tell you I was fickle?

(...and sorry for the rant, rly. XD;; )

I shall post again this weekend... because this is long enough already and I don't want to strain your eyes. XD ♥~

"this is a way of life~"

2010-02-21T09:20:00.003+08:00

...lol, sorry about the title. My mother met someone who could "paint your soul", and she's here today. I'm not against it though – most of her readings were quite accurate anyway (like me having not gone through so much [difficulty] because I have so much positivity within me. Or something like that lol). :)

Anyway! Bullet form seems to be more appropriate here. I have so much to say. XD

* First of all, I apologize for the sudden outburst (i.e. er, my last post?) a few days ago. I don't know why I'm apologizing, actually, but I feel like I should. LOL. Anyway, I feel a lot better now: not too depressed, but still a little sad. I don't feel as emotional anymore, although I still think about him every now and then.

* Which leads me to a song: 366日 by HY.
...I am so emo. XD

* I'm taking so long on the "Trip to Japan!" account (I'm still on the third day... please have patience). Really sorry about the loooooooong delay. I am working on it though! So don't worry. And I plan to post it like a day-to-day account rather than a big/long one entry. Look forward to it! :D

* I knew Shibasaki Kou had guested on HnA, but it didn't register to me until I watched the online clips that the people at arashi_on posted. And the best part? Nino = old man. Honestly, how many times will this be brought up? XD It's not like he's going to change anyway. (I snorted when she talked about his being very well-experienced.) And I squealed too when Nino called her コウちゃん. :3

* I watched Heavenly Forest a week ago, and never has a movie made me cry so much, so I told my older sister and she said she wanted to watch it. Here's how her reactions were:

"He's an idiot for not taking action soon enough"

"omg this is so sad"

"Aww, he's so cute"

...which basically led to her crush on Tamaki Hiroshi. Now take note that my sister has a high tolerance to guys (complicated long story), compared to myself at least, so her crushing on a celebrity is quite a long shot, tbh. She probably has more or less 10 of them only. W-Which includes Sho. LOL. So yeah, I'm surprised that she now includes Tamaki in them. J-Just, wow. 8D

- Did you see this post at arama? One of the reasons why I love Japan. ♥ ~~Heck give me a break BSB was my first fandom ever okay~~

Speaking of, they're coming to Manila this week and I'm watching them ~~for the second time~~!! TOTES EXCITED :D:D:D

/spaz

* I DREAMT ABOUT GANTZ YOU GUYS. TWICE. Once on Monday last week and once about... two days ago?

The first one, I was with MatsuKen, who was driving, and Nino, who was on the passenger seat. I was on the back seat of the car, and we were being chased by this alien. MatsuKen kept panicking (lol idk either) and Nino was quiet in his seat. Odd.

The second one was like the manga, where people who died in the previous mission couldn't come back to the real world. No Nino nor MatsuKen though.

(See? Even my subconscious self wants Gantz now. D: )

Oh and last random thought:
Thinking about watching Tokyo Tower next, and if possibly, Gantz/Oh-oku > Tokyo Tower, then Nino >>>>>>>> Jun, in all aspects, in my heart FOREVER. XD

*shot by Nino*

four for you~

2010-02-20T08:53:00.006+08:00

Four years and counting. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BLOG!!!

~~And to Brian Littrell as well! XD~~

It's already four years since I started this blog. ...and that's aside from the fact that I had two before this one that I ended up deleting. I don't know why I continued this one though, maybe I finally resolved to writing more interesting things and decided to keep it that way.

And I'm so big-headed to think I'm writing interesting things. :P

Anyway, here's to more years of blogging! I will keep writing, I know I will. ♥

my heart beats uncontrollably

2010-02-16T23:01:00.003+08:00

DAMN IT HERE I GO AGAIN.

Okay, let's face it: Finally, I get to see him again and it's nice because at least I know he's still out there and I am aware that he still recognizes me. (SHIT, WAS I HAPPY TO KNOW THAT HE SAW ME AND EVEN CAUGHT MY ATTENTION? YES DAMMIT)

That's why even after all the resolution that I WILL forget about him, the moment I see him, there's nothing I could do but give in to my own feelings and be ~~too~~ happy to see him again.

Despite that time and again he has reminded me that he has no further interest in me other than being friends, perhaps the fact that I have overlooked that and focused on how he had been so nice to me is why, the sole reason why I am still head-over-heels for him.

But it's not mere admiration.

It's how differently he treated me among other guys I've met, all other guy friends I've had, every other guy I've known. He is different – could I ever have another more believable and justifiable reason than that?

And now...

My heart has been beating fast. My hands are shaking. After eight hours, I am still in this state, even after I have done other things, and after I have tried to get distracted from having thoughts of you.

This only tells me one thing.

I am in pain. I cannot bear the fact that I cannot do anything about this confusion, nor this situation I have been almost nine months ago. I AM STILL THIS WEAK FOR YOU.

Like I have been these past six months, I am ever so helpless.

I was about to cross the street, going to meet a friend to go back to work. And then I heard someone call my name.

I turned around, checking at the same time if I was just, as usual, hearing things.

And I saw you. I could not believe my eyes. "Fate is playing with me again," was my first thought.

But I could not be any happier. That I'll admit. The surprised look on your face, implying that I should not be there. You knew I was not supposed to be there. You remembered. That's right – I was supposed to be at work. I was about to tell you why. But I was with a friend, and we were about to cross the street just before I saw you. But I think I was too distracted to think about that anyway. (I even thought of letting her cross on her own and I'd follow. Because a chance of seeing you again was close to a million. That urge was strong.)

I could not help it: I told you I worked somewhere close. Then, just like once before, you urged me to continue walking instead rather than talk to me. About nine months ago, you did the same thing when you waited for me to come out with you from the elevator, then you realized I was not going to and you let me "go". ...god how I missed you.

I was too preoccupied for the rest of the day, so to speak.

I told the only person who knew about him, about my feelings for him.

"Did your heart beat faster?"

I stopped, thinking hard about her question. I... didn't notice. All I knew was I wanted to talk to him, so badly. If I had my way, I'd probably choose to stop right then and there and talk to him. I don't give a damn whatever might've happened next.

"Do you still like him?" was her next question.

"...I miss how nice he was to me, I guess." I answered that with all honesty I could convey. Because it was the truth. Whenever I think of all the times he was nice to me, I suddenly miss him again.

"You like him that much to miss him that way? Advice: TALK TO HIM."

And I did. Well, sort of. Actually, She told me I could at least send him a message just to relieve this whatever stress I was feeling. Disbelief, thinking it was possible to see him again, was more likely the word to describe it.

Just like before, I was a bit hesitant to send him a message. I have never known why, but it seems to me that I have been afraid of him too much. In what way, exactly? I do not know either. I know he's nice and all, but somehow, I am afraid of him.

The conversation just went normally. But throughout that, I felt like I was being a disturbance to him, especially that he has one semester left before he graduated, meaning this might be his busiest semester yet. I learned he was living near the university, just like I was (even telling me "I guess you could call us neighbors then"), and was doing his thesis. Honestly I was hoping he'd ask about me, but I guess I was hoping too much again.

We talked, hooray. At least I realized ~~again~~ that it's hard to keep the conversation going on your own. I've always tried, you know.

I still cannot believe this happened, though. After all the vowing to the ends of the earth that I would never want to think about you again – because simply, it's hurts – you show up. I even wrote this very short entry about you:

Who needs to go away for a while? Literally, *censored*. Figuratively, *your name*.
Who needs to come back soon? ...ironically, *your name*

I have been denying to myself how much I wanted to see you. And to think, I only wanted you to "go away" for a while because I only end up pitying myself that I'm still clinging onto this hope you've helped me create for myself.

It has never been your fault, but somehow, you are the cause.

And yet, here you are again. Haunting me in my thoughts. I would not be so surprised if you come haunting me in my dreams, as you have many many times even when I have not seen you at all.

In the end, I guess I am just tired of all this. Tired of hoping to see you again, tired of making myself believe you'd feel the same way, tired of getting over you after realizing that bitter truth.

In the end, I am still helpless that I cannot get you off of my mind.

AND I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHY.

If you are wondering, yes, there are tears right now. And my heart is still beating uncontrollably, as fast as when I began writing this.

「もう一度、君に会いたい。　すごく。」

a must-post, I think

2010-02-07T22:54:00.000+08:00

A few things:

- I haven't been updated with Arashi these past few days (but I will later, I just need enough time), but I do know that AnS is ending. It's good that Arashi will have a new show, but, isn't it that HnA and VSA are doing all that for them? They don't need another one to catapult them into further popularity – they don't need it anyway. I will miss all the stupidity and perversion and randomness and Ogu-san and. :((((

- So, apparently, and I have been spazzing for weeks now whenever a new preview for GANTZ or Oh-oku comes out (which reminds me: WHERE ARE MY OH-OKU PREVIEWS?!?!). And Betty! I have found a new something – which I'm not sure whether you already saw or not, not that it matters anyway – here. It's a set of magazine scans that showed Gantz behind the scenes. But I'm on a different computer and I haven't seen them yet, but it may very well be promising at best. :D
...and yes, it means we should flail more. XD

ETA: I SAW THE SCANS ALREADY. AND KASFJDKLASDFAS. JUST AS I SUSPECTED, I NEED VIDEO PREVIEWS. TRAIN SCENE~! *SQUEALS*

Hmm, is it just me or did MatsuKen gain weight? :/ Also, ROFLing at the sight of Nino standing side-by-side with MatsuKen. Oh the height difference. XD *bricked*

ETA again: ...and another cast announcement, I think. This guy (he's in the Gokusen movie?) blogged that he would play Sakurai Hiroto. I'm actually reading his story arc right now – coincidentally XD – so the character appears in the 108th chapter (Gosh I am so slow).

- I saw depressing photos during the last day of (some of) the crew at The Tonight Show. It is truly depressing. ;_____; I can't believe NBC had the guts to do that to 200+ people just to save someone's *cough* job. sfkldfjdsklfafd

- Finished You're Beautiful! :) I swear it has nothing to do with the drama, but I always hate it when a drama ends per se. I guess I'm not into so much drama before the ending or something. It kind of depresses me. (I know I'm weird.) Current song stuck in my head: Promise. XD Also, ~~Jeremy~~ Tae Kyung!! ♥

- And I think I have found a new obssession. It's fascinating (for me at least) because:
1. I do have a weird taste and now I feel like I'm the only one fangirling him to the ends of the earth;
2. Weirdly as well, I realize he has a ~~cute~~ lazy eye and he's like the third person who has a lazy eye that I love so much; and
3. I'm glad he's solo for most part.
...er yeah. I just felt the need to vent it. XD *bricked*

So sorry if it's just a block of text. XD I'll make it up in the next entry (I hope). ♥

this is me, addicted

2010-02-02T22:49:00.001+08:00

Just an introduction:
I had work on Sunday dawn/dusk and my bosses allowed me to take the day off (er, today) in order to "off-set" that weekend when ~~I worked with no sleep~~ I went on-field to work.

I thought to myself, hey, why not start a new drama marathon? I did that ~~again~~ with Glee last week, and this week it's...

You're Beautiful.

I haven't watched a lot of K-Dramas in a while, so this was a fresh start. And I considered Kisarazu Cat's Eye first (Yes, admittedly I haven't started with that series yet *bricked*), but then I wanted to watch You're Beautiful and actually finish a drama for once. LOL.

So tada! I can't get these boys out of my mind. XD

Tae Kyung was a bit unappealing to me at first (both as a character and an actor lol), but eventually I grew to like him, a lot. He kind of reminds me of Chiaki. Like the tsundere type who doesn't care at first and then suddenly becomes concerned. He also reminds me of Yuki Eiri of Gravitation.
To friends who are asking, he's my favorite ♥ because idk, he triggers the M in me? XD *shot*
(and lol, did I just use Japanese words to describe a Korean character? XD;;)

Ah~ Shinwoo. He's the first one I rooted for, because well, he's just so sweet and caring. And he's the first one to know that Mi Nam is a girl, so. And despite knowing that he has a rival in Tae Kyung, he goes and goes for it anyway. But I think the way that Tae Kyung has become caring too make me like him more. I-It's not your fault Shinwoo. ^^;;

AAAND there's Jeremy. I honestly thought I'd like him most because he's the only one I knew about prior watching this (Hello~ Hong Ki), but well. I actually love the silliness he brings to the drama and how naive and fun his character is. But, really, Tae Kyung is still my favorite, lol.

I'm not finished with this yet (taking a break...), so NO SPOILERS. XD Also, I haven't stopped watching since last night. Ugh this is so addicting. *_____*

ALSO: There will be a Kishimoto Kei (to which Betty and I referred previously as Naked Girl XD) AND there is a naked scene which means, even if they're toning it down for general audiences, they're not completely removing those... defining touches that the manga has. NOW I CANNOT WAIT *spazzes*

*breathes out*

Yes, I'm done. I think I'll watch a little more before I go to ~~work tomorrow D:~~ bed tonight.

♥♥♥

「君も, PERFECT BODY!」

2010-01-26T22:48:00.000+08:00

That goes without saying,

Happy Birthday ~~Captain Fail!boat~~ Sho!! ♥♥♥

...I got lazy over the weekend and did not make a banner, unfortunately. /fail as a fan

Anyway, I'm glad #perfectbody reached the Top 3 in the Trending Topics and trended for almost the entire day. Nothing like people joining the bandwagon and saying "Megan Fox has a #perfectbody" XDDD
*cough* and speaking of "perfect body", and actually I've said it before, apparently there is a reason why people in the fandom chose that to be the cue word. Because Sho in AnAn = lots of dead fangirls... in a good way, right?

I remember the conversation I had with my sister (who loves our dear Keio Boy).

Me: You know, Sho had a semi-naked shoot recently. Fandom's going nuts.
Sis: LOLOLOL
Sis: ...
Sis: How naked?
Me: *raises eyebrows*
Me: Enough.
Sis: E-MAIL ME THOSE PICTURES.

(After a while)
Me: He was lying on his stomach with a blanket covering his butt.
Sis: E-MAIL. THEM. TO ME.
Me: Actually, I don't think I can send them to you. [The scans] might not fit the required attachment size in e-mails.
Sis: SEND ME THE LINK THEN.
Me: lol okay.

In other news, I've been a little mellow in the past few days (for lack of a better term), and normally I would just deny the reason for being ~~emo~~ mellow, but for now I wouldn't. It's a little ridiculous that I've been personally affected by this but, as other fans have pointed out – he's been a part of our lives and that's why we are affected.

It actually didn't hit me until the last episode last Friday, that Conan's really going off the air (for a while). I've lived without tuning in every night, that's true, but knowing that he's someone that supposedly deserved everything he'd had the chance to be doing, and being robbed off his dream like that. Well. Call me biased, but I think this sympathy is coming from something.

Despite the injustice of it all (re: the situation/scandal), Conan says not to be cynical – because it will not get you anywhere – and tells his fans to work hard and be kind, and amazing things will happen. I've known Conan is such a good guy in real life, which probably why he's one of my most favorite celebrities out there. But this, this touches my heart so much. I remember bawling my eyes out when he nearly broke during that speech.

I'm still a bit in denial that the Tonight Show with Conan o'Brien is over, and September is still eight months away. I'm going to miss him a lot. ♥

Random fact: Even before knowing about Sho's an-an shoot, I saw a seminaked!Arashi-in-the-shower (with only towels around their waists) kind of dream, a-and. Sho was the most popular "spread" (whatever you call that) and my bias showed. I couldn't stop looking at Nino in that dream.

And my friend has told me that according to Freud, dreams manifest some kind of sexual connotation. *cough* My subconscious mind is not trying, not even in the slightest, to be so subtle. aklsdfjskldfja

But work has been okay, I'll tell you that. I guess what they say about having an internship in Nestle is true: it is pressuring. Whilst here, people DO work, but somehow I don't feel like it's too formal. And that's aside from the fact(s) that: 1) We are not required to wear formal/corporate attire; 2) I get to use my own laptop (aka Hiro); and 3) I have bosses who are 2-4 years older than me.

I've been here for just a week though, so who knows. I want a higher grade than my last term. LOL.

I'm rewatching Glee btw!! I have lots of free time at home again. XD Time to finish all those lined up dramas/series. :DD

Okay, I'm getting incoherent now. See you lovelies~ ♥

hai guize. i'm alive!

2010-01-16T22:31:00.000+08:00

So I haven't posted anything since I'd gone to the Land of the Rising Sun. Many things have happened since then, mainly:

- Been interviewed by two companies in two weeks, and I was hoping only for Nestle since:
1) that job at Novartis was exactly the same as the one I did in Nestle, and I can't do that anymore even if I wanted to (University rules); and
2) I didn't want to adjust anymore to new environment.

- Waiting did me nothing, and started to make me panic because I needed a job by this week or else I'd be the only one left without one – not to mention I had to submit documents to my professor (How was I going to do that without a company? D: ).

- Then I realized two of my closest friends already got a job at the same company, and one of them informed me (a little too late tbh) that I should also try getting there.

- Interviewed on Thursday, got a text that night that I was accepted. That should be easy, but considering I felt too desperate that day, it had been 7 grueling hours of waiting.

- So I got a job a day before I needed to submit requirements, and it's awesome because:
1) I'm with my two closest friends in college with me;
2) It's like, a 10-minute walk from where I stay in Manila;
3) I'm in the Marketing department!

To make the long story short, I was just feeling shitty and worried and desperate that I wasn't in the mood to write anything, even my journal and my supposed account on my Japan trip (which will follow soon after this, I promise ^^;).

And then I've mentioned the trip in Japan, which I'm telling you, was so surreal. I'm super happy because none of the four of us could stop talking about how awesome the trip was even after we came back home. Even my mom wanted to go back there. ("I didn't know Arashi was that famous!") Anyway, the day-to-day account shall be posted in the near future. :D

It was just odd that I didn't get to watch any Arashi-related thing there except MSSL. (Yes, not even TSD.) XD

Just one flail point: Have you seen that GANTZ commercial?! Seeing even just ~~the black ball~~ Gantz made me so happy, and omg seeing Nino in that ~~tight~~ fighting suit made my entire year of not having Nino!dramas for 2010. I was that happy. ROFL. (AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON OHOKU'S PLOT DLASDJA;F)

Now I'm off to finish My Girl before I start working on Monday. XD

♥♥♥

ETA:
P.S. Probably not in my flist would actually care, but I'm all for Team Conan here. NBC is an ass, and I want Jay Leno to fail so hard it'll be impossible for him to do talk shows anymore. Or better yet, ComCast fires every NBC executive there is, so that the mess would be settled in a much more professional way. Not calling Conan a failure and an idiot. God, such immature "leaders".

sighs

2009-12-23T20:15:00.003+08:00

I do not understand why I still think about you after all this time.

Despite not talking to or seeing each other for more than three months now, it has been my habit to think about how we could have been, even though it is well-established that we are not talking much anymore (which is the fault of neither of us).

Clearly, this was my fear, that once we stopped seeing each other, we would also stop talking to each other, because basically, there would not be much to talk about anymore.

And even all hell should break loose, I admit that I miss you. A lot in fact. It is bad enough that I cannot help myself as much as I want to.

I have tried everything, trust me.

The fact that whatever I do, it has not worked at all leaves me weak with pain. I really wish I knew how to deal with this. I truly wish that I knew somehow, so it would have been easier for me to move on. But because I do not, I am struggling even just to forget how I feel about you.

And in the end, there is only one question I want answered:

Why cannot this feeling go away?

;D

2009-12-04T23:06:00.001+08:00

I didn't realize these were being sold already from where I live. Having read it ~~a lot~~, I now feel a bit guilty for not buying it in the first place. LOL. And since I don't plan on reading it again — until I see the movie, perhaps — yeah, guilt. But not too much. XD

On other news, last week of regular classes!! YES. I can finally say goodbye to that insensitive, fickle, irrational prof that I've had for TWO subjects (orz). :D :D :D

And Christmas is coming!! Who wants ~~virtual~~ greeting cards? :D? ♥

it's tsuribaka day!

2009-11-26T23:05:00.000+08:00

I should stop going on a rant every time I begin my posts. That's what I've noticed just now when I was scanning through them. XD

So. This might be a little too late (it's not even the 26th in Japan anymore lol) but!! As they say, better late than never, right? Of course I didn't forget — especially that I've seen how trending topics work on Twitter now. (Not that I didn't before, it's just that I've never experienced "making it happen", so to speak.)

AND NOW...

You are easily loved by all, so. Don't ever, ever, ever change. ♥
~~And shower Nino with moar luv plz~~

As you've probably known already, I participated in that Twitter Bash which, in my opinion, is quite successful, even if #tsuribaka didn't reach the upper half of the Trending Topics. What do we have against Thanksgiving, right?

Here's a bit of evidence which I took a screencap of: http://twitpic.com/qzrvy
*is too lazy to reupload somewhere else*

Yay fangirls! \o/
Not many people asked what it is, though. Which is odd.

Captain's birthday celebration with my close friend — whose ichiban is of course, Captain — unfortunately didn't happen tonight (free ice cream!), but she promised me tomorrow, so. But that have to wait until I come back from Nestle ~~again~~. Ugh, the things I do for this BS ~~professor~~ subject. ¬_¬

Anyway, I really hated this week, but I had anticipated this would be "hell", so that's a given. Next week is technically not yet freedom, but at least that would be less stressful (!!!) for everyone in my class. *sigh*

I said I'd stop ranting. >:

Happy Tsuribaka Day everyone! I hope y'all had a good one. :) ♥

i guess i can't resist

2009-11-21T23:03:00.001+08:00

I posted because I couldn't resist this:

Because really, who can resist Sho's ~*legs*~?

He didn't see that costume choice coming, and is thoroughly amused by it. ;3

Also *SPOILER ALERT*

Fill me in... is this the first time he has been chosen in HnA? Because... finally. I've been waiting for that (not only the person himself!), lol.

ETA: I FORGOT! OMG HOW COULD I
Best line of the episode: "Sakurai-kun no fashion sense~ ZERO~~"
XDDD

ETA2: LOL all this karaoke-ing makes me forget things
GACKT ON VS ARASHI?! THEIR PLUS ONE?! WAITING FOR THE EPIC asdjasl

I lied about not posting anymore for this week. LOL. Well, it's better this way, because I've been able to take my mind off things. Not only just school. ~~Why is liking someone so difficult ugh~~

Off to karaoke~! ;P ♥

hoping, wishing and praying

2009-11-16T22:28:00.004+08:00

Here's wishing this will reach you someday. :)

I smile everytime I think about you.

I smile, even though I look like an idiot for smiling without any apparent reason... just you.

I smile because you make me happy.

There is just something about you that keeps me going, fighting, struggling through these miserable times, even though it is hard.

It is amazing how your presence helps me go on and do my best for you.

I probably would never know how or why, but in a way, I am really glad that I don't.

Perhaps, the mystery that you possess comes with your charm, one that I could not escape; I would never have known how to, anyway.

Still, my heart has been captured without me looking, without me noticing, without me knowing.

There I found myself completely into you. And now, I do not think I could ever imagine my life without you, as exaggerated as that sounds.

But I know it is not an exaggeration.

You would probably laugh by the time you will have learned how much I adore you, but I will attest to that, whatever it takes, because I have always believed that you deserve that adoration.

How I wish I could express my love in more than just a short open letter such as this.

I always end up gushing for you like this, ever so helplessly — or rather, I make it seem that way.

Nevertheless, it just has been so long since I first saw you...

...yet ultimately, you still surprise me no matter what.

I can never prove to you that I am in love with you.

But I am sure I have fallen for you.

Take care always, my Sweet Prince. ♥

now i can't get "jellyfish" off of my mind

2009-11-11T22:21:00.001+08:00

Hey guys!! Thankfully, I'm still alive — considering just today I was on the verge of harboring evil thoughts against my professor who ever so kindly gave us a paper that is due in only three weeks, which, by the way, she expects to be a research paper. We were like, lolwhut woman, are you high?

...sorry, I'm not usually this mean, but this time I just feel like she has deserved it. After all the torture she has put us through for this term. Why do such people exist? Was she deprived of parental love or something?

Okay, I'll stop for real this time. Sorry for the rant. :/

I haven't been updating in two weeks, I realize (and as LJ has told me XD). I think it's more of avoiding redundancy than being busy. After all, even if this is called "hell term", thankfully I have found enough time to fangirl and to spend time with my sister (who is back! ♥). Unfortunately school life has prevented me from having much interesting stories than my marketing professor doing the grapevine in one of our classes. ROFL.

* So my parents left us ~~all alone again~~ to go to a Mediterranean cruise (yes for realz), and so my sister felt a little more free this time and invited me to play The Beatles Rock Band with her... and we finished it in two days. XD Still on easy though, I'm trying my best to make my pinky more flexible and reach the fourth button on the guitar, lol. /geek

* And then the karaoke-ing. Which was pretty much, personally, my stress buster. And lol, I kept singing A.RA.SHI in acapella when no one was taking the mic from me. XDDD

* Last Friday, I attended the seminar of my marketing prof called "Art in Advertising", which was like an art and pop culture class, internet video watching and music tripping all rolled into a six-hour session. Which is the epitome of awesome learning session. And then she showed us this — a very old viral video.

Maybe some of you have already seen this, but heck. It's all awesome anyway. 8D

* My Girl: single, PV and drama. While I know some fans are not really fond of Arashi's latest songs (I'm a bit of the opposition if that's the case), there's something about My Girl that although it's not as striking as Believe, it touches the heart in a way — it touched mine at least. The PV, well, I guess the one thought I have is that I absolutely love that their mom is the "My Girl" of the PV. ;___;

All I can say about the Making: With such five dorks, goofing around comes naturally. ♥

And the drama? Two things:
1) Aiba is the ultimate tear-jerker
2) NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO BE THAT CUTE OKAY. It kills me on how cute that little girl is, even with just the way she speaks, guh. melting ♥

Finally, if anyone could guess as to why I'm totally hooked on My Girl (despite liking Tokei Jikake no Umbrella better), I will give you lots and lots of virtual hugs because you know me so well. (Apparently, I have mentioned this "reason" before. 8D)

* Also, Arashi drama SP?!

I... have no idea what is the connection of the poster to the drama but. Who's complaining? *shot*

I miss you all pretty lovely people and I wish I could talk to you all right now and catch up! ♥♥♥

~~Maybe after I get over this hell.~~

thinking about a hiatus? no?

2009-10-27T22:19:00.001+08:00

I love you all like Aiba loves Junnie. ♥

I'm just lurking around here, because even if I wanted to check out what's going on with you guys, school is beating me to death, almost literally in that sense. D: Everyone in my class says how much they wanted this term to end, and that we're all "going to die" this term. Help me? D:

A-Aside from that, I just had to share this Nino!dream I had recently:

Nino was our groupmate in one of our classes, and we did this sort of creative presentation (which btw, happened in real life, i.e. we did rap — srsly). I was the first one to do the introduction, then when it was his turn, he was supposed to do an entertaining monologue. He looked like he was enjoying it, especially with the way he smiled and looked back at us every so often.

I don't really know remember what happened next, except that after classes, he was talking to my friend Jenny and offering her some bread he baked. LOL. He was really pleasant and sweet. The dream ended when I ate the bread without his permission xD.

And my sister comes back from the US on Sunday!! I missed that woman. ♥

i hope you are paying attention...

2009-10-19T20:29:00.002+08:00

It has been a long time
Since we have last talked
to each other
I wonder if you ever think
about me
As I do about you

It seems too silly to be serious
But could you blame me if I
found you too nice and
sweet?
Maybe you would,
And I would not care either way

Because maybe I do actually
miss you
As much as it is hard to admit
Would you believe me if I
told you that I liked you?

It has been a long time.

And I miss you.

ramblings and fandom

2009-10-18T20:26:00.000+08:00

There's nothing to talk about other than Gantz, right? No? :(

- So I was supposed to have a tilt table test last Friday, and the worst thing I had to do was not to eat 5 hours prior to the test. Two hours after breakfast though, my parents told me that the test was cancelled (I was happy to learn that as I hate medical tests ~~despite being a daughter of doctors~~ D:) so I would not go to the hospital anymore. Well, I still did but in another location since my mom was having her medical tests done. Anyway, the conversation below took place at the said hospital.

Mom: (pertaining to me) What are you wearing?!
Dad: Shorts.
Me: Short shorts, mom. (It was politely said btw, lol)
Mom: Don't wear things like that. It's too short!
Dad: Why, what's wrong with it? Kids today wear that.
Mom: Reserve that at home, dear.
Dad: She's a teenager!
Mom: Teen? She'll be turning 20! (like... in a year XD)
Inner Me: All the more I'm okay to wear this, lol.
Dad: She can wear it, look at her legs!
Mom: *chuckles* We're in reverse. Shouldn't you be the one opposing this?
Dad: She looks pretty anyway.
Mom: But yes, really, I like your combination (top and bottom), dear.
Me: XD

But the real reason I wore that — as I usually don't — is because I know I can't wear it to school. XD So I grab every chance there is, when I can wear it. :P

- Why didn't I hear that there was already a teaser trailer for Nodame? D: All I can say is, Tamaki Hiroshi (Chiaki... *o*) and Ueno Juri still look the same, and I can only hope for the same balance between drama and crack and awesome music. I can't wait for its release in December! ♥ ~~As if I have the chance to actually watch it in theaters~~

- Some of the people here in my flist have probably read about this, but. Nino has baby!Jun as his cellphone wallpaper?! I can't help but gush — Matsumiya isn't even my OTP (but definitely one of my ultimate favorites :P) — and constantly mention (to an extent that might annoy people XD) how adorable this member-ai is, despite, you know, Nino being snarky and Jun being DoS. I've always had a soft spot for these two, I tell you. *melts*
(And as much as I know Nino did that to tease Jun, remember how in Arashi, abuse = love? :D?)

- Okay, now I really have to admit this: I've sworn to stop reading more Gantz until... God knows when. It's seriously addicting, even if it has already posed threats to my usually dream-less nights. And since I started reading it, I have heard that the movie will have a different ending and will be more appropriate to general audience. The different ending has finally convinced me to stop reading, and the general audience part, well. Not that I'm against it, I just can't imagine it, since Gantz practically lives off of gore and blood. LOL, and isn't Kurono Kei a pervert? XD *shot*

- For the first time in a year, perhaps, I have tried to watch something live in KeyHole. And that was Mao's guesting in AnS last week, just out of mere curiosity (and to avoid downloading raws and waiting painstakingly for subs). I might want to try this week for VS Arashi, because hello, Shun and Hiro. 8D Ah, so many ikemen in one show... would anyone be able to handle it? XD

Oh and one last random fact: I have been doubting whether or not Nino can actually drive, because I haven't seen him do it (Aiba, Jun and Sho I have), and my prayers have been answered when I saw that preview for MMA (which apparently I haven't watched yet) after the 101st special. So guess you could say I'm oddly turned on with that one. *shot again*

G'night lovelies. I have hanging homework which I have to do tomorrow morning instead because my dad would not go to bed until I do, so. ♥♥♥

hoping i would cheer up soon

2009-10-14T20:25:00.000+08:00

Unfortunately, I am still not feeling too well (as Tweetpeeps [lol] might have noticed), and I still do not know how to deal with what I'm feeling. While it's true that Arashi raises my mood most of the time (and they did actually), when I'm not watching them anymore I go back to what I've felt before, so. idk.

Anyway, I don't want to ruin everyone else's moods, so I'll move on to my real agenda. :D

You know what?

I dreamt of the Ohmiya, snuggling, on a variety show. I can't remember everything exactly in my dream, but I do remember watching an Arashi variety show, which was not specified which show by my subconscious, lol. I think the other three, Jun, Sho and Aiba were entertaining their guests — maybe it was AnS-ish? — while the Ohmiya were sitting on a bleacher-type seats (the one we see during sports games?).

I even remember telling my friend in that dream, "Jenny! You should watch this! Ohmiya snuggling on national television!!" XD

The way their position was actually is the highlight of this post, I guess.

TADA!

(Have I told you that Sho and I are twin souls? :D?)

Well, to describe it, Nino's position might not be exactly like that, but I remember he had his legs around Ohno, whatever way that might be. He was whispering something to Ohno with his face shoved into Ohno's. So yes, it was on purpose that you couldn't see any of Nino's facial features aside from his left cheek. ROFL.

You know what's funny? I could clearly see that Nino was moving his mouth constantly, and Ohno couldn't stop laughing, even if he was trying so hard to suppress it. :D

LOL, sorry, it was not much worthy to waste your time like that. I just woke up this morning feeling the same thing as yesterday, and remembering this dream made me smile for the first time today. ^^;;

よし! I shall go to school in less than an hour. See you later! ♥

i'm supposed to be sleeping

2009-10-11T20:23:00.001+08:00

Actually, I feel awkward that my mom's accompanying me in everything I do ever since Sunday happened. She told me, upon catching me preparing my midnight snack, "I can't leave you alone here in the kitchen."

Hey, I'm not complaining that my parents are very worried, but I feel awkward about it for some reason. :/

Moving on!

I.
So okay, for those who are curious, how was my birthday? I want to be honest in saying that, it felt like a normal day for me. Maybe I even felt a little gloomy. (Is there any less heavy word than that?) I don't know, maybe school had something to do with it — having to think about deadlines, quizzes and just so many things to do.

There was nothing that cheered me up more than being thankful for all the greetings I'd received, and for some reason, I still don't know why I felt that way.
...and I can't really expound on it further, you know, being not able to know in the first place and stuff.

I feel a lot better now though, I think.

II.
Fandom related? GANTZ. Three things that excite me about this (which probably are the same reasons as everyone else's):

1. Nino and Matsuyama Kenichi. (Did I mention that even though Death Note wasn't really the best adaptation of a manga, I totally loved L? ♥)
2. It's action/thriller/whatever weird genre this is, and well, I'd like to see how it turns out, considering how explicit the manga is. I'm curious how the filmmakers are going to make it "real".
3. Nino's character, Kurono Kei, is actually interesting. From what I've seen. He's a bastard and so indifferent and. Yeah.

Basically, I'm just really curious about this. As a result, I'm reading the manga now and I'm not ashamed to admit it. LOL. Hey, it's because I couldn't grasp the synopsis and I just had to know what the hell was the fuzz all about. I might watch the anime too, while I'm at it. I have two more years anyway! LOL. And how happy am I to have heard this news on my birthday? 8D

Brb, snrking on how Matsuyama's character is TOWERING over Nino's. XD

III.
My Girl!! I had hesitations over watching it live (via KeyHole) or waiting for the subbed version (as I've done with all the dramas except Maou). And well, maybe I had Aiba-chan's excitement/anticipation so I did the former. :DDD

Thoughts on episode 1? I don't claim I understood most of the dialogue, but. This drama has already made me cry, and I don't usually cry in dramas (HYD and RnK are exceptions, maybe). I was thinking I could be hormonal ~~as usual D:~~ or Aiba could just have that effect on me. I prefer the latter, actually.

Both of them are so cute and I just want to squish them and it's bittersweet. And Aiba looks more of a brother. But I digress. I bet this will be a lovely drama, and it's nice to see Aiba doing this. <333

And totally random: I saw my highschool crush (the one who purposely ignored me forever) in Church today. This is such a sarcastic!gift to me, lolol. And nice-guy-at-work probably didn't know it was my birthday. I wonder if he's already in a factory outside Manila. *sigh*

And for lolz sake:

BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMA!! ♥
(I'm ashamed not to have created a banner like last year. :( I fail as a fan.)

Okay, that's it. I really need to sleep. (It's 2am.) My mom might kill me if she sees me still awake. Nighty loves! ♥

because my dad is amusing as ever

2009-10-05T20:23:00.000+08:00

Earlier today, my parents and I attended this charity event for missionary priests. At such a charity event pioneered by a famous priest, many celebrities arrived. Some of them even served as waiters and waitresses, as a part of the event's gimmick. One of them was our former President Estrada (a.k.a. Erap).

My dad, as usual, was ~~showing off his camera~~ taking pictures with his camera, and many visitors were taking pictures with the President. This was when our short, yet very amusing, conversation began.

Dad: Look over there. Do you want to have your picture taken with Erap?
Me: *shakes head*
Dad: You don't?
Dad:
Dad: What about MatsuJun?
Me: ??
Me: :P
Dad: Really? Then what about Nino?
Me:
Me: *giggles*
Dad: Haha! You can't refuse him, can you!
Me: *burns lip wound with hot soup* (...I'm such a DoM. LOL)

Note: That lip wound was because I passed out this morning, and my face hit the floor. It's my fault, so I'm not complaining. And I'm okay now, don't worry. :) I'm just a natural klutz, I guess.

P.S. My dad still cannot distinguish Aiba from Sho, after all the times I've told him who's who. He's like, "Isn't Sho the one who's afraid of the animals?" And I was like, "Huh? That's supposed to be heights..." He did recognize Sho once when he bought that Wink Up issue with Sho on the cover.

Oh dad, I wish you could tell them apart by now. xD

I'm just stalling/procrastinating right now, but I have like, 3 things to do for school. And it's 2 in the morning! *shot*

this is a mere, single gif post

2009-10-03T20:17:00.000+08:00

~~Feeling the need to fangirl over this, ahaha. ^^;;~~

Because I just watched the first installment of the Mole Search (c/o Ohno and Nino) on D no Arashi, and then I noticed THIS:

REAL SUBTLE, OHNO. :D

Okay, that's it, actually. LOL.
Have I mentioned it's already October? :O

Happy Birthday Kevin Richardson and Greg Proops! w00t! ♥

i always have weird dreams

2009-10-02T20:14:00.003+08:00

Dreams. Yes, plural, because even if it's just one night (hey, isn't that a song? xD), I tend to have 2-3 dreams. Have I mentioned I always have weird dreams?

First part.
I think I was walking in a mall with my sister (maybe I am missing her...?), and we were hanging out with friends and cousins. I actually don't remember who exactly they were, lol. Then my sister saw Sho and Aiba walking together, and she asked who they were. Funny part? In real life, she apparently knows about them. Sho being her favorite, remember? xD

I said, "That's Sho and Aiba. They'll be with us for lunch!"

Anyway, lunch went on, and yes, I told her the truth, because Sakuraiba were eating at our table. LOL. :Db

Second part.
I never really wanted to tell about this... it's just that, it's so weird. (And by telling you, it might not come true EVER--*shot*)

Well, this one involves that guy who always bugs me about everything (read the P.S. part xD) accompanying me to school. No really. I remember talking to my classmates at school that I would be late, since I would be coming from a faraway land, and then he ~*appears*~, offering to help me with my luggage. He followed me everywhere I went (literally: my room, the elevator, school hallways), and apparently, I didn't care when he would flirt with/touch me. I mean, I knew I was freaked out (and so were my classmates and friends xD), but I let it pass because somehow, I knew he liked me. ~~How arrogant is that, lmao.~~

He disappeared though when a crazy college upperclassman (or woman, if you want to be politically correct) started chasing us with a bat. xD

Sorry about that, I know it's not that even interesting. Sho and Aiba were only in it for two scenes! LOL.

O-OMG it's already October. :o

in case someone's wondering...

2009-09-28T20:13:00.000+08:00

I'm safe here at home. :)

I was stranded for a while back in Manila (and spent the night there) last Saturday. I really wanted to go home in my parents' home here in the province, but I couldn't because of the waist-high/chest-high floods in my route. ;___;

I remember Jenny and I were wishing there would be no classes on Monday (uh I mean today), since our Saturday was spent worrying about going home. We thought we wouldn't even have the time to go home at all.

...actually, as much as I'm glad to be safe, and my family as well, I feel really sad for what happened in my country. :(

Those in my flist who live in the same area, hope you girls are okay. ♥

hmmmm

2009-09-20T20:11:00.000+08:00

~~Haven't had the chance to think of a creative/interesting title :(~~

Enough about my pathetic whining, moving on to much more important things!

Updates? Again?

Yes, again.

Well, all I have to say is that I'm trying hard not to think about the school work too much, especially that my senpai Trina (she's actually the one who replaced me on my internship position) told me that it's called "Hell Term". ;____;

...then again, I don't know the meaning of the word "pressure". Sad but true. xD

And! It's going to be the first time I'm experiencing classes up until 9 in the evening (on MW only!), and I have to say, it's not as tiring as I thought it would be. Perhaps it's because the classes start at 1pm? ...still, that's like 8 hours in one day.

I'll try not to get stressed out and/or complain too much. I keep telling myself that I can do it, that I would surpass this whatever happens, that at the end of the ~~line~~ year, there's Japan waiting for me. 8D

I think I need to ask for divine assistance more than ever.

Then there's talking to Trina. That simply means that I came to work (together with some of my classmates) last Friday, and luckily, he was at work this time. XD I was even greeted with, "Oh, you're here! Did you get your name plate?" As it turns out, he was busy. Really busy that he couldn't even join us for ~~free~~ snacks ~~c/o Nesvita~~ at the cafeteria.

I'm really shallow, but... I was happy because despite being busy, he still came down to give me my nameplate. He even told me, "Can't stay! *dashes off*"

So, there's that. And Trina said, "Jess, please visit me here in Nestle~." I promised her I'd visit if I was bored or free on Fridays — our regular classes are only from Mondays to Thursdays.

Hey, I needed a reason to keep coming back, right? XD

Btw, one last note. For some reason, I really want Nino's Strangers on a Train to be released on DVD. Is there any news on that? /desperate

AAAND, LAST ONE REALLY. I got like 5 magazines from Japan when my sister and my mom had their stop-over before going to the States. It's odd that I haven't taken a look at those, but. I like the feeling of excitement building up like this. 8D

short vacation is short

2009-09-12T15:35:00.003+08:00

I hate to think about it, but I'll be coming back to school again this Monday. My dad had a point when he thought that I enjoyed school far more than I did work, but. VACATION is still the best of them all, if you ask me. ¬_¬

A-Anyway, another one of my lovelies is celebrating her birthday today (why do I have so many friends having their birthdays in September???), and I hope I'm not too late for this. :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JO-CHAN~! ♥♥♥

Here, have your favorite Sho!gif displayed to you again. 8D

You know how much I love you, so I don't need to say it again. Unless you want me to. XD ~~Btw, what do we do in case our boyfriends run away TOGETHER? LOL~~ Happy birthday, friend! :D ♥

I'm really not in a coherent mood right now, so now for fangirl outbursts... XD

* Becky is so awesome you guys. I totally loved her guesting in HnA. More than ever, I think I ship Becky/Aiba. Though it's funny how she seems to be totally convinced that Aiba could only become a friend to her. LOL.

* Speaking of Aiba (yes it's probably not a surprise anymore that he's my ~~current~~ niban), MY GIRL!!!!1!!1 ...okay, I'm that excited. And really, I'm very happy because it will premiere a day after my birthday. ♥ Did I mention I like Yuuka too? *_*

* Presidential Elections will be next year, and I'm old enough (*weeps*) to vote, so my sister and I went to the Municipal Hall yesterday. I love how our conversation went.

While filing up the application forms...
Me: Haha, civil status... what if I wrote something in the "Spouse" blank?
Sister: You should write Nino's name.
Me: XD

* Also, my dad boasts he was singing Love So Sweet while playing golf with his friends. :Db

My mind's a blank, lol. Now I'm watching Kite Runner on HBO. Really good book! I recommend it. :)

♥♥♥

too excited to even think of a title

2009-09-09T15:32:00.002+08:00

Only three things that makes me ~*~HAPPY~*~ right now:

1. Thanks to fallske@LJ and kitsie-chan, confirmed news of Inoue Mao being on both HnA and AnS!!! YAAAAAAY~! :D :D :D
It'll be definitely nice to see Mao on both shows, and I'm pretty sure they won't talk about/do the same things. I'm VERY excited. /hyperventilates ♥♥♥

2. I just saw my grades for this term, AND I GOT 3.5 GPA YESSSSS. I did not expect getting that, because (just to make the long story short), I got 3.0 from my boss ~~unfortunately~~ and they said that even if it's 50% of the final grade, your professor/adviser would just give you the same grade anyway. BUT YESSS my professor probably gave me 3.5. *spazzes* I feel really blessed right now. *___*

3. Going to work tomorrow to collect ~~money~~ allowance because I've been spending lately and I almost haven't got any left. ;________; But that's not what I'm happy about! For some reason, I'm excited to see nice-guy-at-work again. And a bit nervous. ^^;; ~~Damn it! I thought I had already resolved us to being friends?!?~~

Okay, my dad says I need sleep. G'night m'ladies! I'll see you soon~ ♥

flail with me~

2009-09-07T15:28:00.001+08:00

Well, it's because I'm on a ~~very short~~ vacation and I don't have someone to flail with, aside from my dad and my sister... and they're not even that into Arashi! LOL. Anyway, as expected, this might turn out into full-fledged fangirling post ~~like most of my posts~~. You have been warned? ♥?

Firstly: Inoue Mao on HnA!!
SO FREAKIN' EXCITED. Not only because I'm a hardcore Mao/Jun fan (I'd believe it if it's real, srsly), but also because I strongly believe Nino has a crush on Mao. (I know somewhere there's another evidence, but all I can say is that listen to the WISH Secret Talk. You'll know why. 8D) So yeah, I hear she could be on VIP Room? One of the best segments on HnA yet. I approve of everything here, so hard. LOL. Especially that she seems to be getting along well with Arashi in general. :D

Secondly: Speaking of Nino!crushes... Yoshikawa Hinano?
Man, does Nino have a lot of celebrity crushes. And that's despite the fact that he's the wife in Ohmiya. *shot* XD
A-Anyway, this is just my fangirl theory (so don't shoot me XD), and I'll let you see it for yourself with these screenshots:
(S-Sorry for small screenies, Photobucket doesn't seem to have an appropriate sizing mechanism. But hopefully you'll see what I mean. Just focus on Nino for these. *dork*)

Thirdly: Speaking of that VS Arashi episode...
Ja-jan! Sorry for that corny introduction... >.>

Which brings me to the genius that is ShoNeenClub comm. (Randomly said, ain't it? It's Sakumoto but the main focus is our dear Keio boy. XD) Again, I feel a little stupid for getting behind ~~too much~~, but. Creating a Sakumiya comm is about time you guys. It's not that Sho is my niban, or a permanent one at that, but you know, I'm in love when these two dorks are together. ♥ ...And my sister totally fangirling Sho does not help. *weeps*

But honestly, even with the Sakumiya overload and with watching Uta no Oniisan lately, I've got to hand it to Aiba-chan this time. That cute ~~boy~~ guy with an upcoming drama is recently being extra cute to me. So. ^^;;

Fourthly: I've mentioned that my Oneesan is fangirling Sho, so that means...
...she now has an opinion about Arashi, sort of. Aside from gushing about Sho's cuteness, she thinks Jun is a little bit of an... attention-seeker? (Trust me, it sounds a lot harsher in Filipino ¬_¬) Well, I won't expound on it more, I just noticed that Jun is the only left in my circle of friends (in real life) that doesn't have a fangirl. And to think Jun is the first exposed JE boy here, from where I live. Hmm. Besides, Jun!fangirls in flist are abundant, don't worry. XDb

So on the positive side: I want Sho as my older brother. It doesn't have anything to do with my sister, really. XD I just suddenly had this weird urge of Sho being *my* older brother (I don't have one after all). In fact, I actually want to write an AU fic where Sho assumes that role. I-I'm delusional, you don't have to tell me. ;__;

Lastly, inspired by Nino's letter and constant listening to 5x10:
I'm glad that I met you. ^___^
And yes, that includes all of you ♥♥♥♥♥

don't kill me just because this is long

2009-08-31T15:18:00.000+08:00

Okay, time for a real post?

I feel like writing things in bullets ~~again~~ so you may skip over things that doesn't interest you. Works that way, right? :D?

I.
Um, okay, first one. As some of you may know, my sister had this impulse of going to Hong Kong two days before the actual trip. Thankfully, it turned out to be fun, yet of course still tiring. Three days are short after all. And because I had to take a leave for one day at work, I spent those three short days looking for souvenirs over friends at work. I don't know why but I felt guilty of taking a vacation when I know it's a school/work day. XD

And well, the reason was a break-up. I won't get into details since I'm not involved but, I guess that's the power of emotions, right?

Now she has decided to quit internship (hopefully for just a while) and go to the States for a month. I'm envious that she could go, but meh, oddly I don't want to go. Not the right time? *shrugs*

II.
On the lighter side of things, she has officially started fangirling Sho. ROFL. XD

To tell you the truth, she has liked Sho from the start (and by start I mean when she started recognizing Arashi individually, lol).

I actually find it amusing (in a way) that I don't have much Sho!fangirls in my flist, and I have A LOT in real life. Yes, people like Jenny (my college best friend) and my sister, for instance. The other funny thing is that Jenny likes Sho mainly because he's smart and responsible, and my sister likes Sho because he's funny and silly.

So maybe that's why Sho maintains this kind of contrast, in terms of personality. XD

On a much random note: I want to write/read a fic where Sho is my silly!sidekick, just because I know having a sidekick/BFF like that silly Keio boy we know and love is the best thing EVAR. :3

III.
I'm pretty late on this, but. I adore 5x10. So much.

It's different from Sketch, because Sketch refers to a lot of things they had done and encountered for the first 5 years -- which, of course, makes the song personal -- yet you know, 5x10 deems more personal because it's how they feel after these ten years. The melody makes me feel nostalgic and reminiscent too, for some reason.

And I completely understand why it makes you cry. I can't explain it, but whether it's the meaning or the melody, you know it aims to touch your heart with their gratitude, that despite their imperfections, they have gone through ten years because of their fans.

Did I mention it makes me love them more? ;_____;
(I have a feeling that I'd feel guilty if ever they would be a time *knock on wood* that I would move on to other fandoms. I really really really wish that I wouldn't.)

IV.
Hmm. Kokuritsu? I haven't heard much except the ~~flying Arashi~~ zip lines, Nino's guitar playing, and the 3rd day where they celebrated Jun's birthday (omg that jacket was a stroke of genius you guys! Have you seen it? XD). So. I can't say much except that I WISH I COULD GO TO A CONCERT and that I WISH IT WOULD ALL BE ON DVD.

As Nicole told me, why aren't we in Japan right now? ;o;

V.
Erm, sorry to jump moods and topics, but I just have to let this out. You may skip it if you want.

It has been more than a month since I talked about *him*. During that period, I'm happy to say that we have become good friends -- as in there is already no doubt whatsoever that we are -- to the point that even I am contented with how we are. (Mind you, that's the first time I've ever felt contented with the way things are.)

We often hungout together: breakfast, lunch, snacks (can you tell we like to eat? XD), even a movie once; and we also talk all the time, also via text and IMs, things like that.

But remember that this last month was our last month with this "scenario", if you will. He's been an intern since January, and his stint will end on November. Since my full-year internship is cut into three separate terms (versus his one 10-month stint), my next stint will be on January next year, meaning this was the only time we're going to be interns at the same time. And honestly, I was afraid. Of the end? Of everything after this? I don't know, all I knew was I was afraid.

The funny thing was, actually, do you remember when I said that he was nice, gentlemanly, bla bla? He is nice all right, but being friends with him meant that I needed to tolerate his weirdness/tendency to annoy me. Srsly, he was sooo ~~playfully~~ annoying. There was one time that I was just asking whether a certain intern (who is a boy) came to work or not, and he kept asking me "if I missed him" (that intern, not *him* XD). AND IT WAS OVER THE PHONE. A simple yes/no question became a two-minute conversation over the phone AND HE DIDN'T EVEN ANSWER MY QUESTION. orz

So what does that "annoyance" thing have to do with my fears? Well. A week before my last week, there were some instances where I had convinced myself that I wasn't going to miss him (as silly as that sounds in itself) because I found him annoying most of the time anyway. What's odd is that during that period, I did feel that I would miss him. I mean, I was less "emotionally unstable" last week, when it was in fact, my last week at work. Safe to say that even though there are things that have made him seem any less attractive to me, for some reason, which I still have no idea up until now, I have liked him. Yes, even if we're actually friends now.

This is the first time I've told anyone about this next part. It happened last Thursday, my last-ish day at work (second-to-the-last day, to be precise), while we were headed home with four of our other friends. The two of us were walking side-by-side, when he suddenly held out his hand:

"Jess, nice meeting you." He said that to me as I dumbfoundedly shook his hand.

That was the "farewell" I had been waiting for all week. I can't say that I was disappointed, or contented, but I was sure of one emotion: I felt sad. (Can be explained by my PMS too, btw. XD) But you know, I felt like crying when I was on my way home. To think I'm used to seeing him everyday. Hmm. Maybe I will miss him.

I have only but one wish: I hope this isn't the end. :)
(And do I have to mention that I will go to work tomorrow? Who wants to hear the "end" of that? XD)

*cough* Sorry about that. I still blame it on my hormones.

Good night lovelies, will check on you guys soon! ♥♥♥

for that diva that we love

2009-08-30T15:17:00.000+08:00

Um yes. I'm still alive, if ever you are wondering. Long paper is finished ~~and buried under my memories for as long as I shall live~~, work is over (well, my last day is on Tuesday but at least it's only turnover!!!), and I am on vacation officially. :)

Of course, there is a reason why I'm posting right now... although I should've two days ago for some emo-ness I have to convey. Maybe I should do that tomorrow, yeah?

FOR MORE IMPORTANT THINGS.

Stay as diva as you are because we love you that way. Right? ;)

*-----*

Well, since I have resorted to doing this birthday post ~~instead of gushing and/or brooding (whichever is appropriate) about my life right now~~, might as well end it with this:

[During lunch today]
Me: *gasp!* It's Jun's birthday today! Happy birthday Jun!
Sister: Happy birthday, Jun!
Mom: *obliviously as she takes a bite* Happy birthday Jun.
Dad: Will you celebrate his birthday, like you did with Nino's?
Sister: I wish I was there when you celebrated Nino's birthday. :(

(Btw, my mom doesn't know who the hell Jun is. So. Yeah. XD)

♥♥♥?

meme~

2009-08-17T15:11:00.002+08:00

Just to let you know, I'm in my last two weeks of my first internship stint (the next one will still be on January), so I'm quite busy with the term-end requirements plus my actual work. And actually, as much as I'd like this to end, I'm going to miss the friends I've made over at work. I feel sad just thinking about it.

And so, just because it's Nicole's birthday last week, I'll do the meme I requested from her... almost two weeks ago. XD

Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ blog and explain what they mean to you.

1) "Nino (I know you want to do this)"

Do I? LOL, kidding aside, I wouldn't probably shut up about my favorite Arashi member even if I wanted to. Srsly. Well, the only thing I'm going to tell you about Neens is that although I didn't exactly know why I came to like him -- aside from the pwnsome Gimmick Game -- somehow it all came together for me. The sarcasm, the humor, even the ultra-rare emo/HR tendencies, called me biased but there's no way I would change favorites at this rate. And by favorites I mean not only in Arashi.

... okay I'll shut up now. :P

2) "Favorite TV Show"

My favorite shows have a common theme -- they all make me laugh and think and fall in love -- but I could say that my very first ultimate addiction would be House. :) I remember being so addicted to this that I wanted to list down all the favorite quotes, favorite scenes, even all the unfamiliar medical terms. Basically at one point my world revolved around this show. And I admit, maybe it's because I idolize the character House so much, especially for his imperfections. Favorite character though: James Wilson. Yes, I still go for the knight-in-shining-armor type. XD

3) "Pets"

We don't exactly call them pets, more like house guards, because my parents are worried that we might get fleas from them or maybe simply that these dogs do not want taking baths. LOL. I remember my sister having a pet though; I can say she's the real dog-lover among us. As of now, I think we have around 6 or 7 dogs roaming around our yard. There's only one girl, because those ~~perverted~~ aggressive male dogs harrassed the other one away. Hahaha.

4) "Friends (as in your friends something about them)"

You probably know this, but yes, I'm not the social type. I know Librans are supposed to be "social creatures", but for some reason I'm the socially inept type. :P But, somehow, I am thankful to have met such wonderful people. People who appreciate who I am and leave all prejudice behind. Admittedly, I only have a few very close friends (like two in grade school, two in HS, a few in college, that kind of pattern). I think what all my friends have in common is that they understand my fangirl craziness and general weirdness. LOL. ♥

5) "Books :)"
Let me just say this flat-out: I'm a very slow reader. XD One of the reasons why I don't finish many books like most book-nerds, although I really adore reading. I think I'm the type to read little-by-little. As for the origin of this, my mom and my sister are huge bookworms, especially mystery-murder types (Perry Mason, those written by Agatha Christie, etc.). Which maybe influenced my fandom tastes as well, like watching murder-mystery shows or mystery ones in general. What's funny is that most people's impression of me is that of a book-nerd. XDb

... I'm supposed to do a looooong paper (due on THURSDAY) but yes, I'm procrastinating. Welcome back to your old world, Jessie. XD

in the sudden turn of shocking events

2009-08-06T15:02:00.000+08:00

As my sister wanted,

We (my sister, my dad and I) are going to Hong Kong tomorrow evening.

And come back on Monday.

When did she ask us?

Today.

I don't understand her sometimes.

Whenever she breaks down -- crying, saying she doesn't want to go to work anymore -- she does insane things.

But this is by far the most insane thing she has come up with.

I don't want to criticize her, but.

This is clearly ridiculous.

I'm actually surprised that my mom allowed her.

Oh well.

See you lovelies on Monday then.

being this moody is not an excuse

2009-08-02T15:00:00.001+08:00

Let's start with good news, so we don't have to end up giving out the bad news altogether. :D

Some of you probably already know this, but when I announced it at the time, it was still tentative -- and my mom still needed a little more convincing. But now, we're solidifying (for lack of ~~sleep~~ a better term) the plans, and:

I'M GOING TO JAPAN. FOR A WEEK. WITH MY SISTER. ON DECEMBER.

I actually like the idea. Christmas, ergo winter. It's humiliatingly true that people from the South are amazed when it's winter-time in the North. Even though I've already experienced snow before. 8D

So, a question quickly comes to mind. Does it snow in Tokyo?

But ah, never mind that for now. Luckily, a friend has already extended help -- she's still here in the Philippines now -- and she said she'd be in Hachioji. She's my only hope for a reliable travel guide so far, lol.

And then, because I haven't done this in a while...

From Cin! ♥

Leave me a comment and I will give you a letter.
Then, write 10 things that you love starting with that letter.
Post the list in your journal.

I got the letter R. This ought to be fun (if not challenging XD).

1. Radio. Well, actually it's more of listening to music. The only radio station I enjoy listening to is the one that plays old music. So I'm not updated with the new ones. I always feel nostalgic and I love that feeling. :D

2. Speaking of, Rock n' Roll. The Beatles is the easiest to relate here. I clearly think they're a great musical influence. And really, I'm more of a rock person rather than rap/hiphop/rnb person. Honestly, Sho is the only "rapper" whom I can appreciate wholeheartedly. :3

(Warning, the following three items are fangirling-related... people. LOL.)
3. James Roday. If you're watching Psych, you most likely recognize him. If you aren't, ~~you should~~ I'll tell you: He plays Shawn Spencer, a fake psychic who solves crimes through his extraordinary observation skills. One thing I could say about this dude is that he's amazing. And very funny.

4. Robert Sean Leonard or RSL. Ah, one of my heartthrob-type crushes. :3 He grew on me upon watching House, despite not being my favorite character the first time I became a fan. Well, obviously he's good-looking, so. Dr. James Wilson is still my favorite oncologist, whatever happens. XDb

5. Ryan Stiles. From Whose Line is it Anyway? Fame of course. To say the least, one of the people who have inspired me since I was younger, believe it or not.

6. Please forgive me for this one -- Writing. (Yes, I relied on the sound. XD) Since I was a kid, I've been finding ways to have an outlet for creativity; painting/drawing failed, instruments failed, and so there was writing. I've been doing it since I was first year in high school, and so far it's going well. :)

7. Romance. I'm a hopeless romantic. Enough said.

8. Reunions. I admit, I don't like parties. But if it's with everyone I know (and love), then why should I have a problem with that? And reunions also always give me that nostalgic feeling. :)

9. Rice. This is my being Asian. XD

10. ROCK YOU. One of my most favorite Arashi songs. :D

Ah~ my head's been killing me for a week now. ;___; I need to stay away from the computer... if I could. Work requires it. ;___; Good thing there's a non-working holiday on Wednesday.

And. May Corazon Cojuangco Aquino Rest in Peace. She was a great leader for us Filipinos.

this is a nino post (i just had to)

2009-07-26T14:54:00.002+08:00

Well, this should be really obvious, right? XD

Actually the reason for this entry is because I haven't done any real fangirling in a while, and I really, really missed it. I was afraid I couldn't do this right on time, since I was supposed to meet my sister today, but luckily she canceled. (Lucky because I get to do this. *bricked*)

But first! Because it's my dad's birthday two weeks ago (I might just be making excuses lol), and I didn't really have anything for him BECAUSE HE AND MY MOM WENT TO THE BEACH WITHOUT ME D: Perhaps a little tribute to his awesomeness would be good for his birthday. Don't you think so too? :D?

(And maybe this is just a compilation of what he has said about Arashi for the past few weeks. :P)

* Well, he still confuses Aiba and Sho... after all this time. XD This was just yesterday, when he randomly asked me who was the one speaking English. I said it was both of them, so he was still confused. But he had easily identified Aiba when I told him that he was the one with animal-handling gigs. ...and -- sorry Sho fans -- he identified Sho as the one who's not really good at sports. ROFL.

* Speaking of still not being able to tell certain people apart, I've learned that my dad still confuses Jun and Mizushima Hiro. I was just watching the Hana Kimi SP at the time and he was like, "Oh~ that's MatsuJun right?" orz ...and he kept on insisting until I said, "THAT'S NOT JUUUUN!" 8D

* This is probably his way of trying to relate with Nino (lol this somehow sounds wrong XD), but just yesterday he has commented that Nino seemed to be the sporty one -- especially when we watched that Table Tennis with the cute litte girls -- and my personal favorite: "He seems like a jokester too, huh?" :DDD

Oh and another thing: "Nino is silent but he's skilled."
ILU Dad ~~even though it's partly a wrong impression haha~~. <3

* So basically, this should be obvious now, sometimes I can easily persuade him to watch Arashi videos with me. I remember using Super Mario (he used to play that, srsly) in order to watch HnA. LOL. I can also talk to him about Arashi, usually during mealtime. It's funny how it comes out natural, like he can understand whatever it is about Arashi. XD

* Oh and I remember one time he came ranting to me about listening to Arashi in his iPod. He accidentally put some Arashi songs in it, and because he has the iPod shuffle, he couldn't tell how many Arashi songs were there. XD He was like, "Ne, you have too many Arashi songs! I couldn't relax listening to them." And he said something like, it's for typically energetic activities only. ROFL.

* During lunch.
Me: LET'S GO TO JAPAAAAAAAAAAAAAN~!
Dad: You will go to [Japan for] Nino?
Me: :>
Mom: Who?
Dad: That guy from Arashi--
Me: LET'S GO TO ARASHI'S SHOP!

Generally, I love how people around me are commenting how good-looking Nino is, really. *is too amused*

And so. The Nino flailing. I'm sorry but I'm afraid today's entry will not be so short. (I really need to stop posting long entries. orz)

Read more...

I can't wait for this internship to cease (temporarily)... I want to have my fangirling life back. ;______;

updates! :D

2009-07-20T14:45:00.003+08:00

Because for some reason, I'm updating way more frequently in LiveJournal than I do here. And since some of them are not really worth reposting ENTIRELY, let me just relink you to them. Don't worry, they're all public anyway.

...and did I mention it's the by-product of my being an Arashi fangirl? Thought so.

For that special inspiration (aka my Neener!birthday post ;D)
WARNING: Long entry. VERY LONG. VERY VERY LONG. This is by someone who claims she has psychoanalyzed Nino and has emotionally connected with him. So read at your own discretion. And... Happy Birthday Nino. :)

Where on Earth is Sho's Pen? (Fan Fiction)
Characters/Pairing: Arashi, Sho-centric
Genre: General, friendship, crack
Rating: PG
Length: 2099 words -- That's a lot for something as simple as this XD
Summary: Sho's pen is missing, and he's very certain he didn't lose it.
Disclaimer: Do NOT own anything. Maybe Sho's pen, but I bet that's expensive. D:
Author's Note: Conceptualized after my Nino crack!fic turned out to be emo and I had to scrap it out. Written at work, due to slack time. XD Also, I haven't written any Sho-centric in a while (in more than a year actually :D), so I hope I get his characteristics right. |D

Sho couldn’t write without that pen.

And.
That Faraway Dream (Fan Fiction)
Characters/Pairing: Sho/OC
Genre: Romance, angst
Rating: PG
Length: 1,991 words
Summary: He may have found that inspiration.
Disclaimer: Do NOT own anything.
Author's Note: The last in my "Arashi + Song" fiction series. Based (very loosely) from Yume De Ii Kara. It's basically an experiment ~~again~~. I hope you enjoy this even if it's a bit different from all the things I've written so far. :)

Law class, Senior Year. I somehow hated this class.

LOL, I hope they are enjoyed, at least. ♥

i miss the fandom~~~

2009-07-19T15:35:00.002+08:00

And that's despite my almost daily dosage of Arashi ~~crack~~ videos. Hey, it's not like I'd be updated with fandom news if I watched the vids, right? *bricked*

Kidding aside, yeah, as much as I've been wanting to bounce back into the fandom (like spending 6 hours a day just gathering information about the boys XD) since ever, I wish I really could. *weeps* Going to work for 9 hours a day leaves me not only having less time for fangirling, but also feeling tired and sleepy ~~and sometimes crappy~~. If there are a couple of things that I've gained from this, it's that:

1) I've learned that I never want to work for anyone. I might not be the type to work for other people. Maybe it's because I'm a bit spoiled (and basically just how my mom seems to be the boss in everything she does), but yeah. At least I learned that now.

2) The friends at work whom I've met. :)

Which brings me to my next point. If you're already sick of this story, feel free to skip ahead. I wouldn't mind, really. XD

In fairness, ever since I cut my hair (this is NO joke Xp), everything has been going well between us. I mean, for me, I came back to my old cheery self, just as I predicted I would, and I haven't been extremely moody lately. While I realize that my mood is not entirely dependent to what occurs between him and me, if you're in my position -- seeing him almost the entire day for five days straight a week -- you would understand why he'd have an effect anyhow.

Anyway, as I've said, everything soon came back to normal like we didn't have that awkward and odd gap at all. The point of saying all these? You'd probably laugh at me when you read this, as there are quite a few things I've noticed these past few days:

1) Most of our encounters are due to my whims, unsurprisingly. Honestly I've felt less awkward and nervous around him, which I believe is a good thing. I've been initiating conversations lately most of the time, and because of that I've learned that...

2) ...he's the quiet type. Now friends, I hope you all know by now that I'm not really the socializing type (although with that I'm betraying the natural Libra laws lol), so this means we're the same. I've noticed that we have a lot in common too, so. IDK what to think about this, really. Is that good?

3) I actually wish he notices (I'm weird, surprise!) that I've been asking favors from him way too much. Like once a week. XD I-I need to shut up about this, rly.

4) He's sensible to talk to. Books, music, sports, and basically anything under the sun ...or anything I rant to him about. He's the type to tease me a lot, although I can see it's the typical guy thing to do, and admirably, he's honest. I mean he's kind but he's honest. The type to tell it as it is.

So there. Actually I've just thought about all of these things as I'm typing, and I'm surprised at how observant I really am. XD Maybe this is why people are afraid to approach me lol. ~~But friends, I'm a good person, okay?! Please don't freak out XD~~

And well. The funniest thing I've encountered this past week, was playing that shooting hoops game at the arcade (with him and our other friends), and him watching and me failing so hard. I swear I could feel my cheeks turn red at the embarrassment of scoring so badly. (Yay Sho-chan, we both fail in sports! :D) *A-Ahem* After the game, I turned to him (and actually to the other guy who let me play in his post), and they were laughing with me... yes I also giggled so hard at how badly I did. Avee said he might find that adorable, but. I don't know. I'm not social, rememeber? 8D

So enough talk about him, I have some other things to ~~flail~~ talk about. :D

Some random photos. First! My revamped ~~sort of~~ cubicle wall. Again, I just took this with my cellphone camera so it's very blurry. Remind me to take pictures of spontaneous events with my iPhone instead. LOL.

(And Nino is actually looking at the direction of where his cubicle is located. He's being watched~ *bricked*)

Next, Betty's request of a clearer version of one of my house-guards. My dad actually deleted all the other photos, sadly, so this is the last of them.

Adorable, right? *o*

So. I've got nothing else. Except if you want to read about my dad's amusing quips. :D?

This was when I was watching AnS.
Me: Dad~!
Dad: *on another desktop computer*
Dad: What?
Me: There's someone who is darker than you now~! 8D
(Just a background, my dad is addicted to golf, so. Yeah. XD)
Dad: Who?
Dad: *approaches*
Me: Here. *points at Ohno*
Dad: Ohno? Why? Fishing?
...then shortly after he asked that, Ohno mentioned that he's been fishing. Cool huh?

I actually have a lot more but I'll shut up. This is getting waaaay too long again. *shot*

Note to self: Will check on you lovelies soon. I promise. Kill me ~~with Nino smex photos~~ if I don't do it. :D ♥

hello mood swings~

2009-06-27T15:34:00.000+08:00

I know not everyone here is following me on Twitter (or even have a Twitter account, lol), so this post will consist of my past Tweets for the week. Just mini-updates. About him. Because I don't want to tell the story again, and I don't want to think about everything again. ~~Talk about severe PMS/mood swings.~~

And... be the judge yourself. :)

~~Notice how it progressed into YAY I'M SO HAPPY to GRR LET ME STRANGLE YOU.~~

Now he's a bully and he's bullying me. XD *totally giddy* 9:55 PM Jun 22nd from web

Can't reply to your tweets for a while, for some reason. Meanwhile, update: Drinking my almost-daily dose of endorphines. I need it badly.12:46 PM Jun 23rd from web

must not feel depressed must not feel depressed must not feel depressed must not feel depressed must not feel depressed must not feel bad.12:47 PM Jun 23rd from web

I can't say this to his face but I feel I need to say it so here goes: I'm sorry that I'm in a bad mood in your presence. I don't mean to.12:49 PM Jun 23rd from web

Note to self: must force my classmate to invite me to have lunch with them. I feel so sad of having to eat in the pantry all the time.12:38 PM Jun 24th from web

Question: It's normal to ask favors, such as accompanying, from a "friend" right? *evil grin* (And yes, that requires an answer. XD)12:42 PM Jun 24th from web

My mood swings are on a whole new level. I didn't even realize they were mood swings, and I kept blaming someone for my bad mood. XD 10:53 AM Jun 25th from web

Personal mission: Ask him for a favor. Here's hoping I don't get turned down. :P 10:31 PM Jun 25th from web

Okay, really, last tweet before bed: So not jealous of her. Envious, maybe. But NOT JEALOUS. :) 10:32 PM Jun 25th from web

CAN'T WAIT TO GET AWAY FROM THIS FREAKING HELL. /mood swings about 19 hours ago from web

Re: asking him a favor? I chickened out. He is busy. I'm mad at him. I have mood swings. We're not as close as I think we are. 5 reasons. about 19 hours ago from web

Morning world. Watching CNN, mainly to see the MJ tribute, but also to forget my blues for a while. I don't want to think about him now. about 1 hour ago from web

You are now reduced to being just my happy!crush again, finally. Won't try too hard anymore. /totally not depressed about 1 hour ago from web

So obviously, I've been in quite a bad mood. Again. I believe it has something to do with my PMS, as the last time I was in this terrible, terrible state, but you know, emotions are emotions. As much as I want to control it, sometimes I just can't. And it sucks.

For other work-related stuff, I've also been excessively slacking this week. And I've finally figured it out -- it's because of the new HR trainee (a regular employee actually) that will be replacing my boss when she goes into maternity leave. I understand that she's being trained, even with my own tasks, but yeah, it also means she's been doing what I'm supposed to. :P

The product of that? New fanfic. XD

It's like my Jun one, but this time with Sho, because he's the first POV/centric character I wrote upon entering the fandom. But since then, I've never written anything Sho-centric. Ironically, for some reason. I hope it's as cracky as the one before it, though.

So, who wants to read it? LOL.

I miss the fandom again. I haven't been updated with anything, and the only exposure I've had for the past few weeks is Arashi concerts and TQS2. I hear there's a new single? (See, I'm sooo behind.) And I've heard Nino will be on SCP. What else?

AH~ I'm beat. I still have a report to do for school. I might post the fic tomorrow. MIGHT. XD

I miss you lovelies. ♥

repeat meme just for the heck of it

2009-06-21T15:33:00.001+08:00

For the past two weeks, I've had no decent internet connection, and my heavenly WiFi connection at home was temporarily restricted. Fine, no more excuses. XD I hope you're all okay, though. ♥

So anyway, it's my first week back at work, and I was always overtime. FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK, FIVE DAYS STRAIGHT. I kept going home at no earlier than 6PM. Not that I mind though, I have extra pay for that. ROFL. And highlight of the week: being told by my boss not to say sorry to employees too much. xD

But no, seriously, *my* highlight of the week: being given a 3-piece pack of Oreo on Nino's birthday. :D

5:30 PM. Her boss learned that she hadn't finished the priority work she'd been assigned to do earlier in the week (due to another priority work), so her boss told her, expecting her, to finish the work the next morning.

She decided to stay for an overtime -- a part of her actually was a bit guilty -- mainly just to continue working on that.

Her boss left at approximately 6:00PM. "Aren't you going to go home already?" she asked her shortly before leaving.

"Not yet, Ma'am," she replied.

"Okay then, I'll go ahead."

A co-worker asked minutes after, "Jessie, until what time are you?"

"I don't know, but I'll be super overtime," she replied, chuckling.

"S-Super overtime?!" the co-worker laughed as well. "Well then, I wouldn't be able to stay with you; I'll go ahead in a few minutes, okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine," she smiled. "I'm not really bummed out that I'll be doing overtime. I just really want to finish this. Might as well, right?"

The co-worker nodded, as she also left her desk. "Bye~"

"Take care!"

She glanced towards his cubicle. He was still there. He left his cubicle for a while, passing by hers, gesturing that he would be obviously overtime again, just like the night before.

She carried on with her work. At 6:20, she started to feel hungry. Since she figured she would be leaving soon anyway, she just couldn't bring herself to down at the canteen and eat there. Just in time, he was walking back to his cubicle, looking at her. She gestured something. He didn't understand what it meant.

She then mouthed, "I'm getting hungry."

It was more of a random comment more than anything else. She was inclined to do those even with her friends anyway.

He quickly entered his cubicle again, opening his backpack. She thought he would be already leaving.

"Hey, are you going home?" she asked him across cubicles.

He just shook his head and got something out of his bag. She thought it was his cellphone. He immediately went out of the cubicle, went towards hers and handed her an Oreo pack without saying a word.

She was surprised, definitely. "Eh?! Really?" He nodded at her before quickly coming back to his cubicle. "You're too kind, thank you!" was all she could utter back at him. Probably out of shyness, maybe even embarrassment.

Finally, at 7:15, she stood up from her chair and fixed her things. She said goodbye to the last person left in her department and passed by his cubicle. That gesture of his needed more than just one say of "Thanks", she figured.

"Bye~" she told him. "Thanks for the Oreo again!"

He chuckled, "Mm. Take care!"

Somehow she still couldn't believe that happened.

(I'm terribly sorry that I came to talk about him again. |D I'm just really a shallow person that this has made my entire week, lol. And just in case you were curious, I haven't eaten the Oreo yet, I felt too shy to eat it in front of him. *creeps back in her hole*)

On a more Nino!related news: A meme I've done before, but number 4 was missing (and I found it!!) so I'm posting it again. This time the complete version. :D

1. Do you like this person?
Well. 100% of my flist knows that I do, and of course, now my family is entirely aware of that too. R-Really. And having this as my cellphone wallpaper says a lot, doesn't it?

2. How do you call this person?
~~The bastard.~~ Nino. Neen. I'm tempted to call him my husband but many girls already do that, and I don't think he'd like it in the slightest.
But seriously, most of the time I call him just Nino, and I think that's a bit weird. I don't have any affectionate terms for him unlike Jenny has for Sho, or Joanna has for Ohno. Hmm.

3. Which color do you associate with this person?
Yellow, obviously. Although sometimes blue, for some reason my mind is too twisted to think that way. But definitely the color of the sun, which ironically, he hates so much.

4. What do you like best about his/her look?
~~NECKKKKK~~ *A-AHEM*. Typically I go for lanky guys, so there's no wonder why Nino's body structure isn't really much of a problem for me. That's one. Hairstyle-wise, I like that most of the time, his bangs are longer than the back part, whatever you call that. AND OMG HIS SKINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN--okay I'll stop now. L-LOL.

5. Looking at his/her character, what blood type do you think he/she have?
This is clearly an Asian thing, I noticed (Korea does this too right? Well maybe at least from the East), and although I belong in that region, I have no idea how this works. I believe he has blood type A? ...this doesn't matter right?

6. What do you want to tell that person?
Oh man, I've never thought about this. (Clearly I don't think I'd have enough sanity to actually speak to him in coherent sentences. And don't get me started with using Japanese. orz) But since this was already brought up... um. I think I'd end up praising him for his musical abilities, like writing and playing instruments, maybe even dancing. Because that's why I liked him in the first place, hehe. /fail

7. What do you want to do with this person: hug, kiss or shake hands?
I'm all for hugs, so definitely that. *melts in her seat just thinking about it* But kissing is not out of the question. Ohohoho~ :D

8. Pick five of your friends and pick one person for them.
Still not picking. XD Friends, please feel free to do it. LOL.

And rawr, I'll be going to Manila tomorrow instead. Woot! My Sunday will not be spent away from home. :D

I'll be seeing you lovelies. ♥

what i've been up to

2009-06-11T15:31:00.004+08:00

It's been a while since I did "the updates" kind of post, so. Yes. XD

1.

An update about "What I Should Do on Neener Day": It's halfway through, I think. I've written about 1400+ words. I shall explain how I came up with that on the day itself, but I must warn you -- I might've written a novel on that one. LOL.

2.

Basically, I've been slacking around. This has been the longest 10 days of my entire life, ever for some weird reason. I've done nothing but sleep and eat and watch TV and text and talk to my friends online. I could blame medicines for the excessive sleeping though. Stupid cough. D:

3.

I AM NOT OVER ABOUT HOW HEECHUL LOOKS SO PRETTY AS A GIRL.

ENOUGH SAID. If that's what will take my eyes off of pretty!Eunhyuk as well, then. It says a lot, right? XD

4.

A ~~very~~ few have asked about this -- I don't even know why -- but okay, lol. Updates about him and me (or more appropriately, it's like playing a game of "Is he only being nice?" XD):

a. One of the perks of working at Nestle is free coffee/Milo XD. That particular Monday, there was like "HEY WORK ON THIS!" just as I signed on the time sheet at the reception, so I didn't have any time for breakfast. At approximately 9:30AM, I decided to get some Milo in our pantry. I knew he was in the pantry (and knowing me I could've purposely gone there anyway), so I waited for a bit, but it's just that... I was sooo hungry. Actually, there were so signs of him when I got there. Turned out, he just went to the bathroom for a while and came back to the pantry. |D The funny thing was I started ranting ~~again~~ to him, and he was like, "Ah, why didn't you have breakfast? Is it because you already had work? :D?" ANYWAY. I noticed that he was only to get his drink on the table, while I was waiting for the vendo machine to finish filling my cup. Yet he waited for me to get my cup too before he started walking... with me. (It actually took me hours to realize that. I'M SLOW HAHA OTL.)

b. Remember the time I accompanied him + his friends to the arcade? (LOL, now I think of Nino. XD) Shortly before going home, one of his friends forgot his umbrella at the restaurant, so he decided to get it. The other two (there were the five of us) decided to go to the washroom. ...which left us two. Now, I had gone to the washroom before this -- when they were all playing like kids XD -- so I didn't need to. So, there. I actually asked him, "Don't you want to go [with them]?" (I was being nice! LOL.) He waved his hands, meaning "No." HERE'S THE FUNNY PART. I realized this yesterday. Like a week after everything. 8D I realized he might've stayed because I would be left alone, literally alone. Not that I wanted someone to stay with me -- I asked him after all -- but. I don't know. He's a gentleman? Maybe I'm just reading into things too much. Yay me then! 8D

AND DON'T GET ME STARTING ON THAT TEXT MESSAGE. orz

5. THIS

LOOKS A BIT LIKE THIS

6. It's that time again for my dad's amusing quips. >D

Me: *listening to Ichioku no Hoshi*
Dad: *stops* Is that a new song [of Arashi]?
Me: Not... really. I just became hooked on this song recently.
Dad: I thought it was a new one. ... That's got a nice melody.
Me: It does, doesn't it? :D
Dad: Yeah. I like it.

AND

Me: *watching Super Junior's live performance of It's You*
Dad: Who's that? Super Junior?
Me: Yeah.
Dad: That Korean band your cousin loves so much?
Me: *nods*
Dad: *watches* ... I'm still for Arashi.

ROFL I love my dad. ♥

And you too, my lovelies. :D ♥
S-Sorry this was long again. m(_ _)m I have to learn from my ichiban to write shorter entries ~~and stop being too similar with Sho~~. LOL. Later! ♥

i thought the word "weird" is applied only to me

2009-06-05T15:24:00.002+08:00

/sarcasm

Well, it's Friday, right? If you would look at the time of this entry -- it's approximately one in the afternoon. We all know I can't access LiveJournal at work, so what the hell am I doing here?

Surprise, guys: I'm having a self-quarantine at home. You see, last Wednesday afternoon, a female foreign exchange student at my university was confirmed of the infamous A(H1N1) influenza virus. (She was rumored to be Japanese, jsyk.) I clearly thought -- and I wasn't the only one in my class -- that the sudden suspension of classes in my university wouldn't affect our on-the-job trainings at our respective workplaces, since technically we don't go to school regularly recently.

What do you know? The next day, my blockmate and I were busy at our workstation, when a higher "boss" (I-I don't know exactly how to call him) asked, "Who's from La Salle here?"

And then it started. I knew the day would be weird -- the campus grounds were suddenly and unusually silent after all -- but not in this way. He then told us that he would be talking to the HR Recruitment to consider letting us have the so-called quarantine too.

It's understandable in a way -- most of us were in school last Friday -- but I felt it was kind of discriminating that they suspended ALL student trainees, those from our school. Besides, we all had work to do (or at least finish), and it's very unprofessional just to leave them all behind.

I happened to think that the ones who would be suspended were my classmates and I (there were other students that have different degrees from us) since we were there only last week. When the HR Recruitment Head said, "Where are the other students from La Salle?" And we were like, "So ALL of us?"

And they told us that it had been already decided. We were to go home at 12 noon that day, no questions asked. Even if our bosses tried to bargain that we'd extend for the day, it's non-negotiable, they said. None of us had any choice, simply put.

It was kind of amusing that we all had this, "What now?" faces, especially that it was really, really sudden. It's actually an "unexpected vacation" (as I'd like to call it) for everyone. We're supposed to go back to work -- cleared by the company clinic -- on June 15. So, yeah.

Basically we all decided to have a "bon voyage" kind of lunch at the nearest mall afterwards, lol. We called ourselves the "quarantined" peeps. XD

For me, it turned out in my favor though, especially that day. He and I, together with 3 other guys hanged out for a while, and they all played video games at the mall. I totally looked like a mom watching over those little boys, rofl. And well, it was fun, to say the least. :)

--

Enough of that, I was supposed to do this first!

Photography meme!

Ask me to take pictures of any aspect of my life that you're interested in or curious about. It can be anything from my favourite shirt to my cell phone. Leave your requests as a comment to this entry, and I'll snap the pictures and post them as soon as I can.

CLICK HERE FOR THE REST OF THE ENTRY :D

for my 300th post

2009-06-05T02:38:00.004+08:00

A meme, I got from Kitsie-chan here in blogger. :D (Kitsie, I'm not going to complete this because I don't have many friends in blogger, lol.)

1. Besides your lips , where is the favourite spot to get kissed ?
Cheeks. Or neck. :P

2. How did you feel when you woke up this MORNING ?
W-Weird. 'Cause I dreamt about him again. I was like, "LOLZ WHUT."

3. Who was the last person / people you took a photo WITH ?
Wait. *thinks hard* Jenny? I'm not really a camera-whore so--WAITAFREAKINGMINUTE. IT'S WITH HIM. (Oh god why must this be torture. ;__;)

4. Would you consider yourself SPOILED ?
Yeah, I'll admit that. :D

5. Will you ever donate BLOOD ?
I'd like to, someday. :)

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite SEX ?
Yes.

7. Do you want someone to be DEAD ?
"Dead" is really too much. XD I'm not really hateful to begin with. LOL.

8. What does your last text message SAY?
FINE. orz "Thanks! :) I've been slacking around. I still can't believe it's ten days. Glad you're good though. :)" (GOD PLEASE.)

9. What are you thinking about right NOW ?
How much I feel so stupid right now, feeling confused and all. :P

10. Do you want someone to be with you right NOW ?
JO-CHAAAAAN. ♥

11. What was the time you went to bed last night ?
Shortly before 1AM. Still watched Jimmy Fallon, lol.

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now ?
I d-don't remember actually. ^^;; I've had this since 4th grade. XD

13. Is someone on your mind right NOW ?
Isn't it obvious? Grah.

14. Who was the last person who text YOU ?
HE DID OKAY. HE DID.

--

I don't really know how to celebrate my 300th post, for real. XD I guess I'll leave it until next year's anniversary.

And YES, work has made me this way. LOL.

Will update soon though. ;D ♥

...

OR NOT. Here's a fic for your enjoyment. It's the least I could do. *l-lol*

[One Shot] Unexpected Satisfaction

Title: Unexpected Satisfaction
Characters/Pairing: Matsumiya, with a little bit of the Caster
Genre: Romance/fluff (as usual XD)
Rating: PG-13
Length: 1951 words
Summary: Jun is tasked to take home a drunk!Nino, and he doesn't know what he should be expecting.
Disclaimer: Do NOT own anything. I wish this happened to me and Nino though *shot*
Author's Note: For Kitsie-chan, who ~~ordered me~~ requested that I write this! This started off with no plot whatsoever, and I'm still not sure how it turned out. I-I don't know if you'd like it, because also, it's my first attempt at this... genre. *crosses fingers* Also, funny fact? I wrote the bulk of this at work. XD

( “Hurry, MatsuJun, it’s an emergency!” )

Okay, for real, I'm off. XDv

this week has been crazy y'all

2009-05-21T20:56:00.000+08:00

...wow, I don't even know how to start. H-Hey guys? ♥?

First of all I'd like to point out that I knew this week would be hectic and full of tasks and responsibilities, but I didn't expect that I would make some majorly embarrassing miscalculations (aka mistakes) in this week alone.

D:

And I think, having friends at work really help during times like this. I have my classmate next to me in my workstation, and one of our co-workers hang out with us all the time--not to mention another trainee (who's been super nice to me despite my constant whining) on that same floor with us... and people you work with everyday who are always fun to talk to.

So okay, I woke up at 4am this morning, just to get to work at 6am, because my theatre and hip hop dance kids (these are children of employees who are given summer programs by my company). My boss wasn't around, and won't be until Monday, so she'd given me the entire responsibility of taking those kids to the theater where their recital will be held tomorrow.

She's always told me that this was a big responsibility, and that thought hadn't sunk in until this morning.

To make the long story short, I think I was able to manage the entire thing pretty well. Each workshop had their own rehearsals, and the kids were able to go back to the office safe and sound. I wasn't able to have my own lunch though because the packed lunches were enough for the kids, their teachers and Kuya Jorge. I came back to work hungry and ate lunch alone in the cafeteria. That scene was quite sad, lol.

My boss had allowed me to leave work early though--at 3pm--so I could have the rest of the day off and sleep and rest for my big day tomorrow. The kids are having their recital at 6pm! I'm quite excited--it's not common to have a job like this, right?

But yeah, mistakes are inevitable I guess. I just think it's a bit unfair when people tell you off like you don't understand it, even though there was nothing you could do otherwise. *sigh*

It's hard not to feel bad, but I know this will pass. I'm not going to die every time people will do that to me. I'll try to be stronger instead.

And again, I love having friends around at least. At least there are still good things about work.

...

This wasn't quite a read, no? I just want to vent out, I guess.

I sure hope you lovelies are having fun. :) ♥

this is an Ohmiya post

2009-05-18T20:53:00.000+08:00

I-I think I'm getting used to Twitter, as this will be short. XD

(Seriously though, I can access Twitter at work!! :D :D :D)

1.
Ohmiya doing a Hard Gay impression together makes my life better than it's already been. ♥

2.
Maybe this is just me, but Ohmiya's harmonies in songs, I totally looooove them. (If you didn't already know, I'm a sucker for harmonies. *o*) I've always thought their voices blend well and perfectly together.

(And don't be sad Sakuraiba fangirls, I think of the same way for those two dorks as well. ^^ ~~Jun, well, he's got a unique one, lol.~~)

3.
I dreamt of the Ohmiya. I remember walking the same grounds Jenny and I walked on during the Archuleta/Cook concert last Saturday, and Ohmiya were chatting with me and giving me directions; Nino was even talking only to Ohno (like he subtly does) at times. T-That's all I could remember though, heh. :3

W-Why Ohmiya?

...blame my sudden fondness of Leader. D:

i hate working because it decreases my happy Arashi time

2009-05-13T23:33:00.000+08:00

1.

FIRST OF ALL

Some of you have already read that (*eyes Avee and Sandy*), but obviously I was too amused of the comments for my previous fic--realizing I should share them to the rest of the fandom after all. :D :D :D

OH AND I SWEAR, IF I KEEP ON GETTING "AWW THIS IS SO CUTE" COMMENTS FOR EVERY SINGLE FIC I WRITE, THEN IT'S OFFICIAL. I AM CHEESY. XDDD

2.

New friends! Yay! ♥ Oh and kitsie-chan, you're quite the first person to challenge me to write a fic like that. I-I'll try, okay. ^^;;

3.

And in other fic news, I've decided to scrap the one I'm currently writing. Sad, I know, but I had to. And since I've decided to scrap it, this is how the story was supposed to go:

On one boring afternoon, Nino decides to play his DS. Trying to search for it, he sees a post-it with a love note written for no one in particular. He's skeptic, but something tells him it was for him.

The next few days, in an Arashi TV recording, Sho asks Nino a piece of advice about writing a rap verse, with the message resembling the post-it Nino read the other day. Suspect # 1.

During another break, Nino spots Jun writing on a small pad paper. He notices it's the same color as the post-it. Suspect # 2.

Another day passes, Nino hears from Aiba how he loves the word "Sunshine." That is the keyword of the post-it. Suspect # 3.

And Ohno, well, his writing resembles the handwriting on the post-it. Suspect # 4.

But in the end, Nino discovers that the group all came up with that post-it. Nino sees it as a prank, but the group is clueless about why he thinks that way.

...The problem I had with this? IT CAME OFF AS SERIOUS WHEN IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE CRACK *weeps*. Not kidding about that. I'll go with my mission to write a Sho-centric fic. *salutes*

4.

This is why I love Jo. If you feel like showering, god.

5.

AND. NINO CHIKUBIIIII~
*just watched Arashi's Fight in Kokuritsu docu*

夢のために!

2009-05-09T23:30:00.001+08:00

...is Jenny's new favorite motto, inspired by her ichiban's Kamiyama.

/random

So okay. Am supposed to talk about my first week at work right?

FINE. XD

Monday:
First day. I was nervous as hell, thinking about all the things I should expect on my work. Since there was a week turn-over for my position (Employee Relations Trainee), I knew I wouldn't exactly get lost on what to do around there.

Actually, I had three orientations, one by HR recruitment--on being a student trainee per se, and another two separate ones by my boss, Ms. Marese--about HR in general and about Employee Relations specifically. And then nothing else except for filling necessary forms for HR. For some weird reason, I was surprisingly very tired when I got home. I actually even cried when everyone else in my condo was asleep. I guess that's normal--I hope--to feel overwhelmed like I did.

Tuesday:
Started getting the real feel of being a trainee, which basically has a lot of tasks under hand. And one of the unique things about my job is that I'm the one in charge of the execution of the "Summer Dependent Programs"--a set of workshops for the children of the employees. In other words, I am also the one in charge with their food and other concerns. And I tell you, these kids can be MONSTROUS. *facepalm*

Also, I met a lot of people! (Like Kuya Jorge, for instance. ["Kuya" is the Filipino term for Oniisan. :D] My boss told me he could be trusted with anything, haha.) Obviously being in HR entails this kind of opportunity, so I'd have to cave in for some people, and that means I'd also have to do away with my anti-social tendencies for a while. LOL.

Wednesday-Friday:
My real work started, for real. (Redundancy intended.) My boss already started giving me the usual tasks I'd be handling for three months last Wednesday, and she's also given me new tasks (aside from the ones that my senpai intern turned-over to me).

Overall:
I already expected that this job would be very busy and might cause a lot of pressure put on me--even my boss told me that in my interview. But I've always disregarded the meaning of "pressure" anyway (not kidding), and I know I'll get through this, just one step at a time.

Besides, I couldn't imagine getting the job of my classmate, being in the Management Development division. (I only found out this week that she was my workstation-mate! Which is totally awesome.)

So there. I advise my kouhais who are still going to school: ENJOY SCHOOL. Goodness. This is why I've loved studying/going to school all my life rather than to having work right away. Although, now my only wish left is to have a high grade in this OJT stint. *crosses fingers*

Since I haven't had the time to check my flist (I swear though that I'll do that tomorrow, since it's still the weekend ;D), all I'm busy doing now is watching The Quiz Show--especially that my friend Jenny has requested me to (she's too tired of her work, that poor girl) and. Reading/writing fan fiction.

In fact, aside from posting that Jun-centric fic a few days ago (and getting awesome feedback! ♥), I'm reading a lot (and I mean A LOT) of them now. I seriously don't know why I'm such in a major fic mode lately.

So... if you still have other fic recommendations, I'll gladly take those suggestions/recommendations, just for fun! :D

I'm already planning on posting one (or two) of my old fanfics in the arashirabu comm, just to get the general fan feedback. Hee. :3 AND AND AND. I have another one in the works. :D :D :D
Don't expect much though, I'm still working my way with how it will actually go, because it's kind of an experiment. :) If you would just ~~bribe me~~ wait for that to finish (and hope that I don't fail), then it's going to be posted here eventually, lol.

Oh and random: Arashi has taught me to write one-shots.
Even with my old fandoms (though not abandoned :D), like House, Whose Line and other minor fandoms, I always write in full-length fics, chapter-type. It's just amusing that somehow, Arashi made me explore other forms of fan fiction.

And honestly? It took me more than a month since I'd entered the fandom to write an Arashi fanfic. It's long for me. And it's a bit frustrating too, since I couldn't think of a damn plot bunny. ~~Please bribe me with some and I'll gladly write it~~ Now I've been writing Arashi fics for a year! Yay! *unnecessary flailing*

Finally, just for the heck of it, another meme carefully got from Sandy the Penguin which I love forever and ever. ♥

Photography meme!

Ask me to take pictures of any aspect of my life that you're interested in or curious about. It can be anything from my favourite shirt to my cell phone (and now, including my work desk XD). Leave your requests as a comment to this entry, and I'll snap the pictures and post them as soon as I can.

Now I can't wait for Justin Timberlake guesting on SNL. I get to see Bill again! *spazzes*

[One Shot] Five Reasons Why Jun Loves His Bandmates

2009-05-06T23:44:00.000+08:00

Title: Five Reasons Why Jun Loves His Bandmates
Author: jadenmd
Characters: Arashi, Jun-centric, with hints of Arashi/Arashi (I mean almost every pairing? XD)
Genre: Friendship, crack
Rating: PG
Summary: If Jun has to enumerate five reasons why he loves being in Arashi, surely he has to include these.
Disclaimer: Do NOT own anything. Not even this storyline, sheesh.
Author's Note: Written loooong before I intended on posting this, although I revised and tweaked some parts. I actually forgot the reason for writing this in the first place, except that I wanted to highlight crack!Arashi and at the same time their tight bond as a group. So probably this is the most common storyline in the fandom EVER! Not going to deny that. Also, not betaed. (I don't have one, and actually I'm a beta myself, lol.)

( How is Jun able to keep up with his idiotic bandmates? )

first day blues~

2009-05-03T23:39:00.003+08:00

GUYS.

I'M STARTING TOMORROW. AND I'M SCARED AS HELL.

...

But really, I'm actually worried of what my first day will be like. I'm glad I got this job, sure, but I'm afraid that at one point, I might not be what they expect me to be.

Does everyone experiencing work for the first time feels like this? LOL.

Seriously though, I like this job. Maybe that's why I feel so worried. I get to be in the Human Resource department--and not only that, I got into the interesting part of HR: the one that deals with Work-Life Balance. Company outside activities and events, sportfests, parties. Man, I know this wouldn't be as boring as just answering calls all day. (No offense to those who have that job.) The funny thing is, I thought this was the only interview I screwed up! xD

So I'm stoked. And nervous.

On a much lighter note, I can't post my Ousama no Buranchi ~~detailed~~ flailings for now. Maybe tomorrow. Hopefully.

For the meantime, I just visited AibaJun LJ comm last night (just checking on my first OTP in the fandom :D). And man, I'm craving for AibaJun now. I'm really liking the fics I've been reading, and. ~~I'm in love with bastard!Nino in crack fics.~~

So here comes my request: I'd like a fic recommendation from my friends! ♥ ♥ ♥

I prefer crack, and any pairing is fine as long as the entirety of Arashi is included. And it's not too angsty or sad or depressing.

Please? :) I'll bribe you with my version of crack!Arashi which I'll be posting tomorrow surely. ♥ ♥ ♥

I'll end this post with this conversation with my dad earlier (it's not as amusing as the other ones though, lol):

Me: *listening to Arashi on iPod*
Dad: Hey... what are you listening to?
Me: Arashi :D
Dad: What song was that, the one that goes "Whoa, whoa, whoaaa~"
Me: ?
Dad: "Whoa, whoa whoaaa~"
Me: "Love so sweet"?
Dad: That one! So that one's called "Love so sweet". I was exercising to that this morning.
Me: Oh really?
Dad: Yeah. Before I played basketball, I'd stretched for a bit. That playlist was on, so I thought I'd play it.
Me: Cool~
Dad: So that's "Love so sweet"...

Night loves! ♥

this is my OC-ness kicking in

2009-05-02T23:36:00.003+08:00

Honestly, I thought my last post was too long, so I'm currently editing that for this. I ought to have separate posts for the AnS one. :)

I've seen three things that I want to talk about. I'll recap the second one tomorrow (I hope) but I'll still talk about it regardless. :)

- Utaban performance of Crazy Moon
Well I just saw this one in YouTube (I'll download this soon orz), but I must say, I like their choreography in this one. I'm impressed, actually. Sure, I can't take my eyes off of Nino (that's another story :P), but all in all I really loved it. ~~Clearly I don't have a strong opinion yet since I only heard the song earlier (I fail as a fan .__.), but y'know. First impressions. LOL.~~

- Ousama no Buranchi
MARIO! XD
So okay, I literally flailed when I saw that they're playing that classic game in the SP (which I have yet to DL orz). *is a gaming dork* But seriously, how come even simple "personality" games like this ever become so ROFL-worthy? Only Arashi, guys, only Arashi. ♥ But seriously, I think I was clapping every ten seconds or so out of amusement. And my bb has no friends~ *pats* We can be loners together hun~ ♥

- AnS 128!
Thank you Stormy Team for this. ♥ I noticed Leader was talking!! Not that he doesn't, but you know, he was actually making random comments here and there in this episode. :D And I love how they kept using the shooting sound, especially if someone fails. XD

And just because.

border="0" alt="">
Nino and his "persuasion" techniques, Sho!laugh (which will never not be contagious), and Ohno's reaction on the last one.

border="0" alt="">
The Chipmunk and the Space Captain. (Srsly, Sho looks like a chipmunk here.)

BRB picking my melted self on the floor ;_;

And Aiba in his usual cuticle self. He's laughing even though everyone's shutting him down. Aww. ♥

I wonder why Ohmiya hosted this. Is it so we can see the two of them giggling to themselves like this?

Laughing!Jun is always nice to see. And Jun *IS* getting good. Not only in this game, but singing, in general. :) Also, moar Sho!fail. *pats Keio boy*

Obligatory Sho/Jun cap. Junnie is reaching out to his ~~former schoolgirl crush~~ senpai a lot more these days. I think, lol.

Aaaand. I'm such on a Nino-high lately. Can't. Stop. Looking. At. Him. I think I did miss him a lot, and sorry nibans (all four of you, lol), I have to focus first on my ichiban. XD
I said this to a friend before, since I just came back to the fandom, my ~~non-existent~~ niban-of-the-week scoring board is back to zero as well. So no nibans yet for the meantime. Which maybe is also why all [two] eyes are on Nino right now. Good theory, no? *bricked*

Finally, as I said last night, I'll post my Ousama no Buranchi flailing later on. :P

"random" is my middle name

2009-05-02T23:31:00.001+08:00

~~...together with "lazy" I guess~~

Anyway, as some of you might know, I was gone for a few days because of my sister's graduation, and we had to stay at a hotel in Manila for two and a half days. Sad part was I couldn't get a decent internet connection in the hotel without paying for no less than 1000 pesos. So no internet for me during those days. (I did, however, find a couple of wifi spots, but I wasn't satisfied using it without Hiro--my laptop. XD)

In other news, I think my sister can now officially be called a doctor. :)

~~Hmmm. I'm actually in a dilemma of how to arrange this post, but for a change I'll do a meme first?~~

From the ever-lovely Sandy ♥
So okay, the person I got this meme from must give me a person to which I should base my answers in this meme. And of course, Sandy gave me *gasp* Nino. XDb

1. Do you like this person?
Well. 100% of my flist knows that I do, and of course, now my family is entirely aware of that too (more on this later :D). And having this as my cellphone wallpaper says a lot, doesn't it?

2. How do you call this person?
~~The bastard.~~ Nino. Neen. I'm tempted to call him my husband but many girls already do that, and I don't think he'd like it in the slightest.
But seriously, most of the time I call him Nino, and I think that's a bit weird. I don't have any affectionate terms for him unlike Jenny has for Sho, or Joanna has for Ohno. Hmm.

3. Which color do you associate with this person?
Yellow, obviously. Although sometimes blue, for some reason my mind is too twisted to think that way. But definitely the color of the sun, which ironically, he hates so much.

No number 4 :(

5. Looking at his/her character, what blood type do you think he/she have?
This is clearly an Asian thing, I noticed (Korea does this too right? Well maybe at least from the East), and although I belong in that region, I have no idea how this works. I believe he has blood type A? ...this doesn't matter right?

6. What do you want to tell that person?
Oh man, I've never thought about this. (Clearly I don't think I'd have enough sanity to actually speak to him in coherent sentences. And don't get me started with using Japanese. orz) But since this was already brought up... um. I think I'd end up praising him for his musical abilities, like writing and playing instruments, maybe even dancing. Because that's why I liked him in the first place, hehe. /fail

7. What do you want to do with this person: hug, kiss or shake hands?
I'm all for hugs, so definitely that. *melts in her seat just thinking about it* But kissing is not out of the question. Ohohoho~ :D

8. Pick five of your friends and pick one person for them.
Since I just came back ~~from the dead~~, I don't know who's in a hiatus or not. XD So just comment here if you want and I'll provide you a person. Whether you're an Arashi fan or not. :D

Random thoughts time! XD

1) Have you ever felt that during family gatherings, your parents always tend to tell stories when you were young? Hence we, their offsprings, feel utterly embarrassed. My sister and I just had this conversation, and we both agree that aside from your childhood, always, your aunts ask about having boyfriends. *facepalm*

Since we both don't have any--my sister and I--that can be a very awkward question. And while talking about it (with a cosmo and a margarita in each hand XD), I love how this question was brought up in our conversation:

Sister: Does Jenny have a boyfriend?
Me: No.
Sister: Did she ever have one?
Me: *hesitates* ...she has never considered it a "relationship" in the first place, so...
Sister: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No. :P
(Like I'd keep it a secret from her! lol)
Sister: Or you consider Nino your boyfriend?
Me: LOL~!
Me:
Me: ...could be.
XD

I love that even my sister could deviate such a serious topic into something so bizarre. I guess that's why she's my sister. I approve.

2) Another random thing. I was just looking into my dad's slippers when I noticed something written on it.

... That's what happens when fandom has invaded your mind. XD

One final thought: I think I'm going to love The Quiz Show. *o*

Good day lovelies ♥

this is my blog after all

2009-04-27T18:29:00.002+08:00

EXCUSE ME WHILE I'LL TYPE EVERYTHING IN HUGE CAPS.

HONESTLY I HAVEN'T QUITE EXHAUSTED YET MY REACTION FOR A PARTICULAR VIDEO FOR DAYS NOW, AND I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT. DAMN. DAMN.

CURIOUS ENOUGH? THIS IS THE CULPRIT:

...I WILL NOT SAY WHAT IT IS THAT BLEW MY BRAINS OUT, BUT IF YOU KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH, ~~AND I DOUBT THAT YOU DO~~, YOU'LL PROBABLY FIGURE IT OUT.

I'M JUST SAYING, I DID NOT EXPECT THIS. AT ALL.

*Jessie is flailing and wants to kick someone in the head, tysvm*

Excuse me while I fangirl~

2009-04-25T23:40:00.002+08:00

Warning: A long post. Even if as I am typing everything just now, I know this will be long, lol.

So okay, after a week of struggling with interviews, add that with ~~impatiently~~ waiting for my AAA 2008 DVD and calendar to arrive, I guess I have to say that it all turned out in my favor eventually.

In other words, I was already "hired" by Nestle and received my stuff from YesAsia! YAY! :D
(Thank you to all who wished me well! ♥ ♥ ♥)

Actually, the Arashi stuff came in first, and I was already expecting it a week before--hence my being impatient--but because I was still in the process of being interviewed by various companies, I couldn't celebrate just yet. So I resorted to just oggling at my calendar. *sigh* During that time, I was interviewed by three companies already: Watson-Wyatt, Siemens and Smart-PLDT, but none of them called back offering me an on-the-job training. Then I learned from Jenny that she was already accepted in Citibank, known as one of our 3 best companies to work for (together with Unilever and Nestle). That's when I started to get worried.

THEN Nestle called Jenny the day we were together. She actually felt guilty that she couldn't be interviewed anymore, especially that Nestle is also one of the companies that we were waiting to call. I was getting more and more anxious when almost 20 minutes later, they called me, requesting for an interview 5 hours later. The first interview went well, and the HR requested me to come back the next morning (which I felt very guilty of, because I was wasting gas going back and forth).

Honestly, the second interview made me want the job so much. Basically the unit head said that their responsibility covered mostly employee relations and employee communications. They also handle events and promotions of the company, and she said that my skills could cover much of it since I had a background in publications (as in newspapers/newsletters) and human resources (my major :P).

I was nervous/anxious for the entire two days waiting for them to call back, especially that another classmate of mine was interviewed. (I was afraid that she was a better candidate than I was, because she was an officer of our organization.) I couldn't even sleep after the interview. ;___;

I guess it's true that it happens when you least expect it. XD In hopes of drowning my anxiety with playing The Sims (as in the original, old one XD), my attention was called by my sister that someone was calling my cellphone. It was them!!! And I got the job!!! Since basically I couldn't (and wouldn't actually) refuse the offer, I said I was available whenever they wanted me to report, which is on May 4. I'M OFFICIALLY ~~SORT OF~~ EMPLOYED! ROFL.

Obviously I was jumping up and down in our house to celebrate. That was the longest 2 days of my entire life so far. Whew.

AND THEN there was the aftermath of my celebration, when I finally decided to watch AAA 2008. At least when I watched it, I had nothing else to worry about, lol.

So okay, I can't actually compose my thoughts about the concert without being incoherent, so I'll put it in my favorite kind of way, haha.

~*~ SPOILERS ~*~

1. First of all, I like that they put the behind-the-scenes first. And I remember kept on going "WTH Nino, playing cards while recording..." which I don't know, ironically, makes me admire him more. XD Also, I love that Jun is the only one planning the entire thing and the other four just wandered around the venue.

2. Costumes. I don't know if this is being an Arashi fan or not (and having enough exposure to Johnny's) but I think they were okay this time around. Nothing too hurting to the eyes, thank God, lol. And I liked those pink suits for some reason.

3. AND I was never going to bring this up but with Jun's sheer determination to be shirtless every single concert, it needs to be discussed. XD I understand that it's sort of fanservice, but Jun? I remember my friend saying he only should let Sho do that, haha.

4. I thought watching it with my dad would be awesome as always, and I loved his commentaries. He told me he enjoyed it, despite having bad audio, and he told me, "Those guys are sweet to one another, aren't they?" (Even my dad noticed orz)
Also, he commented (well I'd pointed it out before) that Nino always managed to sit/crouch down at some point in the concert. XD

5. Hair talk! I joked with my dad about how boys always wore caps when they don't comb their hair, and that bedhair always looked good on them. But more importantly, I miss Jun's hair in this. I wish he kept it like that. My thoughts about Aiba's hair is the opposite, lol. And I don't know why, but I kept staring at Sho for some reason. It must be the hair as well. *o*

6. My Neener will always be silly, as I figure it out. I can't quite explain it, but you know, he's always making fun of the others, always making them do something, always do the silly things with Sho or with everyone else. You know? *does not make sense*

7. Then there was Aiba's solo. I don't know why, but during that, I felt sorry for Aiba bb. He sounded like he huffed and puffed during his solo that I wanted him to stop and breathe even for just a minute or two. ;__;

8. Wet!Ohno. XD Well, I actually refer to the moment where he and Nino were playing around with each other's hair, but I guess the Fight Song was LOL-worthy too.

9. And yes, hyper!Jun. My dad pointed this out, but Jo and I have a theory about this. Since Jun, in concerts, is in front of his fans, he feels more comfortable around them, therefore he feels he can do anything and his fans would appreciate it. When he's on TV, on the other hand, he's mostly reserved because everyone can see him/his image. Right? :P

10. There were so many gif-able moments in this. *o* If my laptop DVD drive isn't so choosy, I would definitely make ones to share. Especially that Smile moment with Sho, lol.

11. Lastly, I forgot how much this fandom made me happy and how much I truly loved it. Watching the concert made me realize that. :) And don't worry, I still love these boys as much as I did before. :3 ♥

Honestly, this post also constitutes something:
I'M BACK! :D

And finally,

this made me LOL so hard. XD

Anywho, glad to be back!! :D

One final thought: OMG BILL HADER IN A NICK FROST/SIMON PEGG MOVIE????? I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW. ^o^

another double celebration, sort of

2009-04-24T19:27:00.005+08:00

(Reality check first: I actually don't have any mood for writing right now, but you know, anything for my favorite people. LOL.)

April 22, 2009: Fifty years and counting. :)

I remember having decided to rank all my favorite guys in the entertainment scene (whether they are from US, Britain or Japan :3), and obviously this person goes in the Top 3. For some reason, Ryan Stiles has always captured my heart in many ways. The way he seems silly, dedicated and fun, and even the way he sometimes seems aloof, serious and reserved--quite contradicting, right?

I don't know the reason, actually, why he has become my favorite despite the fact that his friend, Colin Mochrie, is evidently the crowd favorite. (Well, I think Ry is really the second favorite, but I digress.) Perhaps I found him very charming (there I go again, lol) and I've just kept on looking for him every time I've watched Whose Line is it Anyway? for eight years now.

Now that both Whose Line and also The Drew Carey Show are over (insert 'awwwww'-ing here), Ry has moved on to doing different things, way back in Washington. All the more reasons to agree on studying there I guess! ROFL. Kidding aside, even though I'm quite sad about the show ending, I think there are better things for this man, and I was glad to learn that last year, he went touring with Greg Proops, Chip Esten and Jeff Davis, Whose Line style.

While I have yet to check those stuff out (now I'm excited XD), all I wish for Mr. Stiles is the best for his career. A talent like that shouldn't go to waste, and although I know he has used that well, I still think he can do so much more. I miss him, so to speak. Happy Birthday, Ry. :) ♥

April 23, 2009: An awesome actor and now, a public servant.

Honest to God, actually I didn't expect to like this guy so much, and thanks to House M.D., he easily became my favorite ~~second~~ Duckling. I still believe his character is/was (big clue!) Chase the Second, as funny as that sounds: he rides along with House's commentary, he kisses House's ass every now and then, and he's adowabow. :3

Of course I'm talking about Kal Penn, who played (God that was so hard to type ;___;) Dr. Lawrence Kutner on my favorite drama of all time. Sad that he had to go, but like people say, it's moving on to better things. I was a little disappointed on how the writers made the character leave. I'm very much saddened by it, and I could only wish for that to happen to other characters instead *cough*cough*. Anyway, Kutner will always be my favorite Duckling by a fricking mile. ♥

Oh and you know what's also great with Kal Penn? HE'S FRIENDS WITH THE LONELY ISLAND HELLS YEAH!!! *celebration* In order to not gush about how adorable Jorma Taccone is (I knew I would love that guy orz), I'll show you a video proof instead, lol.

Aaaand I love Jorma. He's so goofy like I didn't expect him to be. ♥

Deviating from the topic! Kal's awesomeness doesn't end there, he's now serving in President Barack Obama's administration (I'll let you research for the position, I'm too lazy to do that myself XD). The main reason why Kutner had to leave House. I'll miss him.

Happy Birthday, Kal Penn, and continue rocking! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! \m/ ♥

my favorite boys :Db

2009-04-18T20:28:00.003+08:00

Actually, I have other favorites than these two whom I'm about to mention, but since these two are having their very special day TODAY, might as well play favorites right? ;D

First one!
Well, I believe I have to greet him first, not only because he's older of the two, but also because I've always regretted not giving him enough credit for what he's done. While it's true that it's actually just a matter of time (that I wasn't able to give that credit), I still regret it because he really deserves the love.

Why? The answer is a bit easy, believe it or not.

It's because (1) he's smart and witty and funny ~~and charming~~; (2) he's sarcastic (you know that has plus points for me ;P); and (3) he's very, very, super down-to-earth. Actually, to emphasize the last point, I have not seen any other host who talks to his guests in that way, very friendly. I mean, he is just a natural. Maybe after 16 years, one would already be a natural, but that's not the point.

A few clues here and there would probably remind you of this post. Who else would it be other than Conan O'Brien?

Yes, that skinny, tall and awkward former host of Late Night and soon new host of the Tonight Show. But like what I said in passing, I think I'm having too much admiration and outpour of love for Conan lately. I mean, like a serious case. Hey, I can't help it--I should've given the love years ago to be quite honest.

And so, my official greeting* and wishes to my favorite talk show host, Mr. O'Brien. :)

I'll be tuning in on The Tonight Show every single night. That's a promise. ;)

(And did I mention I sought refuge to Conan a few days ago to cheer me up? THIS is why I needed cheering up.)

Second one!
If you've been reading my blog enough, you probably know who the second person is. Maybe this post would give you a clue. So okay, there are no further introductions in this one, except that he'll have his last Doctor Who appearances for this year. ;______; I'm going to miss him a lot.

But regardless, I'd still wish him a
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVID TENNANT!!!

Good luck on your future endeavors, I'll be surely there to support you, because you know.

You'll always be MY Doctor. ;D

* Screencap of cartoon!Conan from South Park.
** Image from BBC.

hope, confusion and heartbreak

2009-04-15T01:30:00.005+08:00

My heart is aching.
It is as simple as that.

Tears are falling from my eyes.
You are still going to be my last thought
Before I close them, as I drift into sleep.

Despite my rude, harsh comments towards her,
Inside I am just hurting. Just hurting.
Hurt. Sad. Bitter.

There is nothing certain in this life,
Not even your current situation.
But uncertainty is far more applicable to me,
Because I do not know if I will ever have you.
That glittering, heavenly chance with you.

I cannot stand how much pain this is.
It is more painful that you are happy,
And I am not.

I try ever so hard to forget about you.
Yet I do not know why after all these years,
I still feel the same way about you.
Maybe even stronger than I thought it was.

I wish there was some concrete justification.
Why I am feeling like this,
Why I cannot let you go.

Perhaps the only hope I am clinging unto.
Simply, that is why.

Feels just so fine
When we touch the sky me and you
This is my idea of heaven
Why can't it always be so good
But it's alright, I know you're out there
Doing what you've got to do
- Lost in Space, Lighthouse Family

People say watch your live through a glass
Desperately waiting on a chance
I know you're out there
Holding on
Holding out for me
- Unmistakable, Backstreet Boys

I feel so desperate.

who's not studying? raises hand

2009-04-13T21:28:00.000+08:00

To-do list:
~~1) Management Science group project paper~~
~~2) Management Science finals~~
3) Political Science group paper
4) Political Science take-home quiz
~~5) Theology and Religion video presentation~~
6) Financial Management 2 finals (note to self: print out formula sheet)

Well. It's about time that I had a real post. Because it wouldn't be like me to actually like studying and working and not to procrastinate ~~a lot~~, I've decided to update my journal since I last did 2340924 years ago. LOL.

So okay, what to talk about. Since I've already let my flist know about my current obsession with this year's American Idol, I'm not going to talk about it here. (Although, I flail every time I hear Matt's voice omgness. I love that voice. *o*) Anyways, um yes. I've been interviewed for my on-the-job training this coming May as well. I secretly want to be accepted in that company even though it's not in my top 3 choices, because well, at least I'd have a sure offer. I also hate to compare myself to others, but a few of my classmates are already working now, and some have been interviewed twice or more already. I feel like I'm not good enough somehow. Oh well, upperclassmen say that it's still early and that no one should be in a hurry, since we still have more than a month technically to start our OJTs.

I'm glad that Jenny's not taking summer classes--she's taking the classes with me in September--but I'm thinking she also wants to start work early. Damn, I think I'm the only one who doesn't want their summer break/vacation to be ruined. But like always, I couldn't care less and I really don't want to cut my summer short. Especially that these are my summer goals for this year:

- study Japanese (or at least have some progress)
- learn how to drive

Two are few, I know, but then again I only have less than one month to accomplish all these. :o I don't think I would learn how to drive so easily, despite learning how to ride a bike for just one day. haha XD

Moving on, I have to be honest here. It's been just last month that I realized that I needed to be active on my Arashi fandom again as soon as possible and you know why?

Yeah. I remember my dad telling me when he saw this: "Who's that--Oh, it's Nino. He looks so handsome there! ...is that his real hair?"
XDDD

And my sister going: "Oh that's Nino. Why is he sporting that hairstyle? Is he playing Goku or something?"

Well you know. I actually miss this ~~boy~~ ~~man~~ guy. And seeing this photo (wallpaper by morimoli :D)... *sigh* It really hit me this time. Don't worry, as soon as Wednesday night I'll get back to you lovelies and to the fandom. Let's just hope I'm not too late to come back. :o

Finally, if you're wondering ~~at all~~, basically I'm just watching Saturday Night Live during my free time, because even if, I admit, it's not the funniest show in the world, there are a lot of good people there. And The Lonely Island is also making me happy during times like this. Listen to Incredibad, and don't take it seriously. Really. Just a friendly warning. ;Dv

Oh and Mizushima Hiro and ayaka got married???
"There goes another one" is all I can say about this. XDb

anyone watching AI? :O

2009-04-07T21:25:00.000+08:00

Just had to post this.
I'll be back soon with more, don't worry. :Dv

I just love that here at home, we have different tastes in this year's idol:

My sister: Megan Joy
(She loves mainly her quirky and fun personality :P)

My mom: Kris Allen
(I... actually don't know the exact reason. XD)

My dad: Allison Iraheta
(For obvious reasons? Also, he had to watch her version of Papa Was A Rolling Stone twice.)

Me: Matt Giraud :D
(...In my defense, I don't think Matt's going to win, but heck I love him sfm so who cares.)

And just to throw it around: Jenny likes Danny Gokey. :Db

Lastly, I'll have my first interview with a company tomorrow so wish me luck! *crosses fingers*
~~Actually I need it~~

I'm missing you loves ;___; ♥

um, whatever.

2009-03-23T19:17:00.002+08:00

I've had enough. You're never going to make me back down again.

Lately, there have been signs of you that linger around me. Most of them are concrete, and because of that, it leaves me hanging: What the hell are you doing to me?

I was so sure that I'd finally got ridden of you in my life once and for all. I was so sure that, despite having actual chances of meeting you again, I would never resort to being my same old vulnerable and stupid self if and when that time would come. Yet you keep on reappearing in my life, as if I'd made a wrong decision on ignoring my feelings for you.

But you know what? You will never change my mind. Read that? NEVER. Every single time you have always left me confused, and I will never let that happen again. I will never let you do this to me again, because I'll be too stupid to fall into the same trap I did twice already.

Now I know some are going to ask: He's a nice guy; why not give him a chance?

Well, I am very well-aware that I've given you more than enough chances, and honestly, I can never understand why.

No more chances--that's my promise to myself. I'm only human, and I can only do so much to prevent myself from doing the same mistake again. But definitely, I will never want to have anything to do with you anymore, even if your image begs to my face.

If anything, I will leave everything to chance, as something I would do according to my nature. I won't do anything else, because that's what causing the idiotic decisions to start, unless you do something about it. After all, a connection has to be two-way right? I will be willing if you are, as much as I never want to have to face you anymore, because that's just who I am. I give people what they deserve, what they give me.

In case you never change from the way that you are to me, at least I won't have any more regrets, just to show I've made the right choice. If we were meant to be more than what we were before or what we are now, then so be it. I simply wouldn't take matters into my hands this time around.

There are just so many people better than you--that's why.

i wish my tears would reach you

2009-03-19T23:43:00.004+08:00

Because I simply cannot take it any longer.

As much I don't like to admit it, you're probably not thinking about "finding" me. (And maybe that's because I am obviously not focusing my attention to you recently as well, but let me get to my point.) You're probably having too much fun partying, drinking, socializing, while I'm stuck here, studying, writing, "fangirling", all by myself. You're probably having way more fun than I'm currently wishing to have. Come to think of it, I've never really thought about what our similarities are, what interests we have in common, albeit being aware that we differ in many things. We live in different worlds. You're not even my type for God's sake.

So I've always wondered why I've fallen for you so hard--so hard that I can't stop thinking about you, that I keep hoping, that here I am, waiting for some miracle of fate to bind us together for eternity. I have never even understood why, of all people, I had to meet you in the first place.

I need to say this: My heart is aching, yearning for you. I've tried not to care about what goes on in your life, such as whom you are seeing, but somewhere in the back of my head (and my heart), I hate to see you being happy with someone else. I know that's too selfish of me, but I've sometimes I think I've had enough of this nobility and of this selflessness crap. Perhaps, your having someone else is the reason why I'm afraid to know what's actually happening in your life right now, despite being awfully curious. I don't want to know that my chance with you has drastically decreased as days go by.

I didn't lose hope; I never lost hope; I'm trying not to lose hope. Even if I cannot take matters (at least all of it) into my own hands, I'd like to believe that I have some control over the heavens, so that eventually, we can finally be happy together. I sing, dream and tell stories of our happiness together. (I already know I am twisted; no one else needs to point that out further.) I certainly hope that you are waiting for me, as I still am for you.

In all honesty, that is all I ask for in this life.

In other words, you are my only hope, literally. I don't know where I would go in case fate decided that we were really not meant for each other. I would not know whom to turn to, as you have always been my only refuge. I do know that it is possible, but of course, I prefer not to think that way, especially that I would definitely become weak. That is why I'd like to believe we would still meet face-to-face one day, even though I'm starting to feel very helpless without you.

And that's the thing: I would not know what to do now without you; obviously you have changed my life in ways I could have never imagined. You have given me strength, hope and happiness, a future, even though I don't know how exactly you have done that. But as much as I'm utterly glad to have known your existence, there are times that I want to get away from the pain this has caused me. I've said it once, and unfortunately I believe this isn't the last time--I cannot take all of this pain anymore.

Yet I'm still here, waiting, because you have kept me going, as ironic as that seems. I do not know how, I do not know why; you just have. For that, I'd be willing to wait for you, no matter how painful it is to do so.

And I still do not know if I am in love with you.

because i was probably long gone

2009-03-16T22:22:00.001+08:00

(And you probably didn't even notice it, but that's not the point.)

I'm terribly missing this fandom, especially that I haven't been updated that much with news and shows and stuff like that. :( To tell you honestly, I technically have only three weeks left--not counting the Holy Week--before my finals, and obviously that also means that I've been extremely busy ~~and/or lazy~~ to check around here.
For that, I'm sorry. m(_ _)m

~~And you're probably annoyed with how I'm saying sorry all the time lately.~~

Anyhoo, I'm already here, so. Updates? :D?

1) My sister, who's graduating Medicine soon, passed her sort-of finals! Yay! :D Everyone calls her "Doctor" now, which is still a little bit weird to me. I know I'll get used to that, but I guess not for now. XD Kidding aside, I remember my sister calling me on the phone three times last week before "the test", constantly telling me that she'd die soon or collapse or get sick or something. (Btw, she rarely calls at all.) One time, she even yelled at me for not telling her not to go on taking Medicine and go to the States instead so she could have become a Medical Technician (her pre-med degree) there. LOL. My sister's usually crazy like that. But that doesn't matter anyway, we have another doctor in the family!

(In case you didn't know, my parents are doctors, and I have many, many relatives who are nurses, doctors and/or have a degree in the science field. orz)

And now I constantly wonder why I wasn't interested ~~or even gifted~~ in science. I'm the type to just sit back and watch those geniuses at work. (Like those gods from MythBusters, for instance. I adore them.)

2) I'm starting to have nightmares about my incoming internship. While I have no worries about where I'm getting a stint for my internship--Siemens and Citibank have already contacted us for interviews and whatnot--my subsconciousness reminded me of something horrible: What if there'd be no company that accepted me? Where would I end up?

And don't get me started with being "assertive and competitive". Even my personality evaluation is telling me that I'm not that kind of person. At all. I hate it when I have to worry about things. ¬¬

Which brings me to my next thought.
3) I need to remind myself: NOT REALLY A PEOPLE PERSON. No matter how I force myself to be in such a big crowd and be envious of all the people that are getting along so fast and so well, in the end, there's no way I could be like them. I realized this ~~again~~ when I attended my organization's leadership workshop. That workshop was supposed to be for the future officers of the organization, and although I wasn't interested in being one, I still attended. I was surprised to learn that despite having age and class differences, everyone knew each other already. So to speak I kind of felt that I was left behind.

*shrugs* I honestly don't know how in the world that happens. LOL. All I can say is that I can't help it that I'm born this way, and I don't like to do something that's not natural to me.

~~Also? I might be an anti-social.~~

4) I've been secretly in Backstreet Boys phase right now, as much I've been wanting to hide it for weeks now. XD I guess I've started to miss them again, and forgot how much I'd loved those vocal harmonies and wonderful songs (I'm cheesy, remember? XD). Off the top of my head, favorite songs: Like A Child (from Backstreet's Back), Don't Want to Lose You Now (Millennium), and Climbing the Walls (Never Gone). Also? Even though I'm missing Kevin Richardson, I still absolutely love Unbreakable. :Dv

Just saying. orz

Unfortunately, I still can't check the fandom right now. Sorry my dear lovely friends. ;___; I still vow to catch up... I'll catch up with all of the updates if it's the last thing I do. ;___; ♥

fangirl stories that don't involve me

2009-03-06T22:16:00.000+08:00

But first! I've finally done this meme, lol. From Jeffer! ♥

Comment to this post and I will give you 5 subjects/things I associate you with. Then post this in your journal and elaborate on the subjects given!

1. What specific example of an event makes you blue
Huh. As in 'sad' blue, right? I'm the type to forget all about things that have made me sad, but I guess if I were to elaborate, I'd say a particular relationship with a guy friend. Which started as puppy love (I've known him since we're 10 years old), have gone mature as we became good friends.

I've always had mixed feelings about him, like I keep doubting if we could go on just as friends, but luckily even when we reached high school we stayed that way. I've known about his love life (and trust me he was the ladies' man there, my god), and he has about mine. You could say that if there's someone I could trust with my life, I would consider him as one of the candidates.

But ever since we've gone to college, I've never seen him again. Sure, we've talked once--technically texted, sadly--but there was nothing more after that. I've always tried to contact him--online, IMs, texts, even other friends--nothing's working. I was even sad that he didn't even reply when I invited him to my birthday last year. I honestly don't know what's happening.

So to speak, it makes me sad that we don't get to talk anymore, especially that even though I've been trying to, he's not responding to anything at all.

Ironically, I've always wondered how our relationship would become after we graduate from college. He once told me that he'd go to Hong Kong and work there. And I have other plans of my own as well. I guess, only time will tell, huh.

2. Break-ups
I... honestly haven't gone through a break-up yet, the romantic kind. I have, however, gone through a 'break-up', but with a friend.

This only happened last year, and this was when I found a new interest, a new hobby: Arashi. You see, my buddies in college at the time were only two: Jenny and this one I shall not name. Jenny became interested in Arashi as well, but she didn't. Honestly, although I'm aware that my obsession with Arashi was NOT the reason for why we drifted apart, it became an instrument as to what would really happen to us eventually.

We started to drift apart, as I said, and I believe we talked it through for about three times. But still, it was truly inevitable. She finally told us, in the end, that "we weren't the friends she'd hoped to have". She actually thought that, for us to be best friends, we should be able to decipher her every thought and predict her every action.

I used to believe that you can make a relationship work out if you want it to. I still do. For me, there is no such thing as 'not meant to be' if only one of you is willing enough to either change oneself or accept the other as is. Relationship, whatever the circumstance, is always a two-way game. It's sad that I can never bring back the friendship I used to have with her, but I realized that I did not want to change, nor did she want to accept me for what I am, even though we both wanted the friendship to stay as it is.

If you're curious, we are still friends right now. :)

3. What you'd trade your computer for
Oh gosh. Why are you torturing me, Jeffer? LOL. This is the hardest thing to elaborate on, because basically, I cannot live without Hiro--he's my laptop. I honestly can live without internet perhaps, but not without my computer. It's one of my essentials for many reasons: (1) I love to write, and most of my writings are stored in here; (2) I love my TV shows, 'nuff said; (3) music is my lifeee~. All these can work with or without the internet, right?

But for instance, that I get to trade my computer, I'd choose plane tickets to Japan or to the States, provided that my living expenses there would also be covered. XD (Hey, that's how important my computer is to me. LOL.)

4. Diary
I've been keeping a diary for the longest time. Although I don't have an official diary that I write on every single day, I do keep track of my favorite moments and my favorite thoughts on various writing materials. I think I have 3 journals (including a planner) that I write on, and sometimes I type on my computer when I feel particularly lazy to write. As long as I get to "preserve the memories". :P

I'm also the type who doesn't want to forget anything that makes me happy, even if I would have regretted it happening years later. It's fun to know how much I've changed, how much I've matured, and how much I've learned from these past experiences. And it's certainly fun to know that I am the type who enjoys life as it goes along and who wants everything good to be cherished. :)

5. Remote controls
Random, but good enough. LOL. Remote controls. Obviously, it's man's answer to the difficulty of standing up and changing the channel on the TV. ROFL. In our house, we have only two remote controls that functions on three TVs, so actually, we do have wars of who has the remote control, because we've already solved the problem of wanting to watch different things on TV. LOL.

Also? I was in love with remote control cars when I was younger. [/random]

So. What this post's title actually means. As you've probably heard about, my cousin--Ate Iya (I'm mentioning her for the 1000th time in this journal XD)--went to Thailand a few weeks ago to the SM Town concert. So she saw DBSK, ShiNee, Super Junior and Girls Generation live. I think their position was near the stage and the ramp in the middle. :o

Little details of the top of my head:

* They celebrated ALL those who had their birthdays on February. Since my cousin's favorite is KyuHyun, he's all I could remember having his birthday on this month. LOL. Oh and DBSK's YunHo had a cake incident. As they were singing to him, he was about to blow the candle when someone (I forgot lol) pushed him on the cake. XD Later on, Leader Leeteuk licked the cake off of his face.

* According to her (and mind you she has high-standards XD), SiWon and DongHae are the hottest guys in person. *o* Ryewook is the cutest--in fact, her exact words were: "I want to put him in my pocket." XD

* They stayed in the same hotel. :O They encountered SuJu once coming out of the hotel, when upon leaving, they heard the fans scream so they went back. XD

* Actually, at the concert venue, cameras were prohibited. She said that even during the concert, guards would actually grab the camera and deposit it to leave outside. So she couldn't bring out hers. Her friends, though, are camera pros despite being prohibited. I saw a couple of their videos and I was amazed at how they did that. Clear videos!

* The concert lasted 5 hours, but she was disappointed to discover that her favorite performance (the one that made her go to Thailand in the first place XD) did not play there. I think that was a duet between KyuHyun and a girl whose name I don't remember. Sorry, lol.

* And she got sick afterwards, upon coming back here.

* Oh and this is especially for Avee: Heechul's kiss. XD
If I'm not mistaken, he did not kiss anyone from SuJu... or if he did it was SiWon. (Argh my memory is failing me ;o;) Anyway, THIS was the first thing I asked her, and she said she had already expected this. Haha.

I think that's it. LOL. We only had more or less an hour to talk about that, so I don't know if I still missed something important. Oh well. I'm glad I could share that even though I was not present there, lol. ♥

I'm sleepy. .__.
G'night dearies! ♥ ♥ ♥

anniversaries are always fun ^^;

2009-03-04T02:38:00.002+08:00

As I've mentioned in my last post, I've been in the Arashi fandom for a year now. :) I mean, like in my most fandoms, I didn't start actively, since I was a newbie and was practically rummaging around looking for Arashi stuff. But well, it's better to start the story at the beginning, isn't it? :DDD

So okay, as many of you know and quite obviously, I'm a Jun-bait. Although I encountered/watched Jun in a few dramas, namely Gokusen, Bambino and Hana Yori Dango, before I had been successfully baited ~~by Momo~~, I'd also known about Arashi, especially when I watched Johnny's countdown last year. (Believe it or not, I watched that mainly because of Toma. XD)

Hmm, Sho actually caught my attention at the time (I thought he was good-looking), followed closely by Nino. But I never went past ogling the two of them (and Jun), so that doesn't count. ;PP

Anyway, the main force that made me search about anything Arashi was Kimi wa Petto. So officially, that is my Jun-bait. But actually, I wasn't hooked to Arashi enough, until I encountered their guesting for the Valentines' Day episode of Utaban on February 29. (Honestly, who would've thought I would be eternally grateful for Utaban? XD) That was the very first thing I watched unsubbed, and it still made me laugh my ass off for thirty-minutes straight. XD Anyway, Being Jun-bait, I actually didn't look at the other members longer than I looked at Jun (and really, I was sad when none of the kids gave him chocolates. LOL). Of course, I knew that Arashi was a fun group, nonetheless.

Then I noticed the lad who said (in the same guesting) that he was 'popular'. If you guys don't remember who said that, he's the funniest and the most energetic among the five, which is probably why I liked him right then and there. :D

This also explains my even-now-evident fixation with AibaJun, btw.

There went my Aiba-phase, and that continued for quite sometime (I think about a month), even while I was watching Yamada Tarou Monogatari with Jenny (who, in case you didn't know, has Sho as her ichiban, despite being Jun-bait as well XP). I was sure that I had Aiba as my favorite, but kept wondering who my niban would be among Arashi; which went towards my main dilemma: Was it Nino or Sho?

That also went on for a while, and I didn't want to resolve it right away because it wouldn't make a difference and heck, I had an ichiban anyway.

Until I heard Gimmick Game. So, the neck fetish and the hamburger hands obsession began. Which originally was supposed to be just an expression of utmost admiration for composing such a "multi-dimensional" and catchy song. ;o;

The rest, as they say, is history. About my eternal similarities with Sho (I swear we're soulmates or something orz), that's another story. XD And if you're wondering, Ohno was the type to grow on me. I mean, he's this adorable, lovable (not to mention very talented) leader who is often bullied by his members, and doesn't even do anything leader-ish. Who wouldn't love that? :)

And I still don't have an official niban! Just clearing that up.

Unfortunately, I'd have to skip my cousin's story of her trip to Thailand to see the SM Town talents for this post. Consider this entry and the next one an installment series. XD

Also, I'm afraid I still can't do the meme I requested from Jeffer--that requires a lot of time and thought I guess, lol--so in order to compensate, I took again the test I did a few months ago, and still got the same result:

Yes, I'm a dreamy-idealist. All ray of hope and sunshine. :P

Oh and I start becoming busier by this week, because it's past-midterms and everything starts after midterms. Why? I don't know, that's one of the illnesses of the professors here in my university. They dump you lots of work after midterms, which thankfully this time, I didn't feel at all (we didn't have any subjects that required midterm exams *whew*). So, yeah, in case you're wondering.

Also? I love you guys. ;___; ♥

oh god Sho-phase .__.

2009-03-03T02:35:00.000+08:00

~~And my friend has had enough with my Sho-phase.~~

But actually, the title is not the point of my post. XD I'll just make this quick because it's past midnight and I have a class at eight in the morning and I have a surely gruesome quiz tomorrow. ;____;

But first, I haven't forgotten the following (because I will post about this soon, hopefully tomorrow):

1. I have been a fan of Arashi for a year now!! ~~Details soon, lol.~~

2. Like, three (or more) memes that I haven't done, but will surely do. :3

3. Oh gosh I haven't forgotten my cousin's trip in Thailand. I only got the chance to talk to her last Saturday and god, I want to be on a similar experience. D:

Okay, now that's done and over with, a few things in this fandom that I'm late for ~~as usual~~ but wouldn't mind flailing about:

- The preview on Sho's guesting on UtaOni!! Can't wait. (Also, Ohno is awesome for adlibbing like that. And making Sho laugh! ♥)

- Believe PV!! Been flailing with Jenny about it earlier today. I still love Nino's new do, adore the Sakurap (Sho-phase again~), find self drooling for Aiba, think Jun is dressed like a waiter, and amazed at Ohno's vocals. B-Boys.*o*

- Arashi Beatbox!! LOL, Aiba sneezing is the cutest thing on Earth. ♥ Also, it got me ROFL-ing for two minutes straight.

- Arashi calendar... *_______* I'd have to wait for mine in a few weeks, but as you already know, I'm a natural spoiler-whore, so. Stripper!Sho would be a best seller. (Why is Johnny doing this to us? ;o;)

I-I'm out. I can't think of anything else. Honestly I have yet to see Ohno's PV and MS guesting and and weeps I hate school. ;____;

(I'm sleepy forgive me ;o;)

in keeping with tradition (and promises)

2009-02-28T23:33:00.004+08:00

I'll be greeting this guy for three years in a row now, without any fail. ~~Because that's how much I love him, lol.~~ So! Just like the title says, in keeping with two traditions, I'm going to greet this guy again (because it's been a year duh) and I'm going to do it in the same way I did with other two people, namely Hugh Laurie and Lisa Edelstein. :Dv

The first time I greeted him, I stated all the basics about him and well, perhaps I did that to introduce him to whoever reads this blog. Like my favorite movies of him, his Broadway background, his being on House, even his love life, lol. And that ended with "He's one of my favorite people," or something like that. :D

The second time, though, was different. This time it was more personal, with me stating why I truly loved him aside from playing that womanizer oncologist "Wonder Boy" on House. Which is obviously his Broadway background. :P Also, I wrote this in almost an open-letter format which is commonly used to address them directly, making it really more personal. And in the end of that post, I was complaining that Amber was the least person I'd want Wilson to be with. But then you know, I liked her until the end. Okay, not the point. XD Finally I mentioned writing a House/Wilson fic to celebrate, which, honestly, I haven't finished writing yet. XD You know, having 10 fandoms all at once? NOT EASY. ROFL.

Anyway, for this year, I'll make it short and ~~sweet~~ simple.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBERT SEAN LEONARD! ♥

♥

On a more random note: The Lonely Island's album is the most addicting thing ever. I said it a few days ago, and I'm still addicted to that thing. *o* Seriously, these dudes' work are the randomly weirdest thing I'd be addicted to, but. They are all kinds of amazing if you ask me. akljdfs. And if you're going to listen to Incredibad, DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY, GOD. Take it as a comedy album because it is and god I don't even mind the cursing, which is pretty odd because I hate too much cursing. (Oh and listen to Boombox! That's my favorite song off the album weeps)

Oh god now I want RSL to host SNL or something, just to have all my favorite boys all together. (With Bill too!) ;___________;

i can't think straight right now

2009-02-24T20:40:00.010+08:00

This will seem ridiculous. VERY. I'm already warning you. So if ever you read this and go, "This is the silliest thing I've ever read--this girl is just too insane sometimes," well. I already said I warned you. ;PPP

Here we go.

Honest to God, I've never been upset of any show on television that has ended. What's weird is that I never expected to be this upset, that I believe it has entered my subconsciousness for good. What's even weirder is that although the show has ended, its host will still be around--actually long around and have, technically, a better stint than he had for the past 16 years--and will just be relocated to a warmer, more laid-back environment.

For those who are familiar with the Late Night Talk Show scene, you already know whom I'm talking about. For those who are not, he's Conan o'Brien (I'm not linking anything--I'm pretty sure you recognize that name).

I swear I don't know what's wrong with me that (1) I'm writing about this; (2) I'm feeling like this towards this subject; and (3) I'm writing about how I'm feeling like this towards this subject. ~~God I barely even make sense right now.~~ Nevertheless, I've decided to do this anyway, hoping that this is just how I can get over this.

Yes, a part of me cannot get over everything. Again, I wish I knew exactly why. Perhaps since he is leaving New York, 30 Rock, a part of me seems upset with that. (And I might know the reason why, but I prefer not to dish it out here, lol.)

I think it would be best to tell you how I've come to love this host, although I haven't been following him too closely in reality (which I regret, but more on this later).

Let's just say I've watched enough nightly talk shows in order to pick a favorite: David Letterman, Jay Leno, Craig Ferguson, Jimmy Kimmel. (I know it's not everyone, but it's enough, right?) When I was a bit younger, about a few years, I never really noticed the difference among these hosts. I thought they were all the same. And yet, yet, Conan has captured my heart without me knowing it. I mean, I don't know when I started favoring him over all the other hosts, but I surely did.

I remember getting a bit bummed out that we only had David Letterman over here before, a few years ago, because I really wanted to watch Conan for some reason. Don't get me wrong, I certainly understand Letterman's humor, but it was just not entertaining enough for me. (And trust me, with this attention span, a show would be lucky enough to hold my attention for five minutes. Seriously.)

My best guess as the reason for this is that I have been hooked on his charms. As you probably know by now, I'm known to be susceptible to charms, so. Anyway, ever since, I have regarded him as one of my most favorite persons in the whole world.

But it wasn't until recently that I'd realized why I fell in love with him in the first place. I guess you could say that it was hitting two birds with one stone, because as I realized that little fact, I also discovered an entire new fandom which I'm currently enjoying thank you very much. :D But I digress. I think I've come to love Conan (and appreciate his humor) for lots of reasons: he's honest, quirky, smart--being part of SNL and the Simpsons writing staff before hosting Late Night (YES I HAVE TO ADD THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO KILL ME FOR THAT), he's the type to laugh at himself (which, btw, I admire A LOT), and. He's an awesome, awesome person. Also, I think the way he interviews his guests is the most effective method I've ever seen anyone use. It makes him seem a lot more approachable than most hosts. :)

Moving on, I've learned of his move to an earlier timeslot, replacing Jay Leno on the Tonight Show, about two years ago, so actually, this wasn't a big surprise. But I guess the fact that he's moving from one side of the country to the other, I'm sure there will be a lot of changes because of that.

I still love the fact that he stated in his "farewell" speech on his last show that he'd never grow up. Honestly that statement made my heart flutter, for two reasons: I'm glad he doesn't want to change, despite moving to an earlier timeslot and being exposed to a bigger audience; and I absolutely love people who don't let other people's judgments affect their own, if they're not doing anything wrong of course. I admire Conan for saying that once and for all, and I'm pretty sure all his fans appreciate that as much as I do. ♥

So to speak, I'm having mixed feelings about this. A little piece of my heart is broken that he is leaving NYC, but of course, a huge part of me is happy and wants him to succeed to LA, which I hope he really does. And what the hell am I so sad about? It's more possible that I get to be in LA than in NY for God's sake. Xp

But there is one thing that makes me sad more than anything else: I keep on regretting that I didn't watch Late Night when I had every chance I got. I've encountered this show for more than just three years, and it's only within the last four months that I get to watch it religiously. *sigh* Don't worry Conan, I'll surely stand by the Tonight Show when you start hosting it. :D

As part of my conclusion (LOL this sounds so formal when it's supposed to be a bit personal), here are some of the reviews/news reports--which have convinced me to post this even more--that I've encountered while randomly surfing the web:
Conan O'Brien packing up for move West - This news was the first one; it certainly made me realize how soon he was leaving Late Night.
Conan O'Brien Takes a Bow on Last Late Night - What irks me about this whole moving thing is how some people wouldn't give Conan a chance, whether they are a Leno or a Carson fan. But that's about the comments on this post, lol. I couldn't care less what they think, Conan is Conan. Anyways, I totally love the last line of this news post. SO TRUE.
Good-bye to Conan's 'Late Night' - FINALLY, fans who totally love Conan. (This is why I love TWoP as well!) This is a recap and commentary just a few days before the final show.
Our Last Look at Conan's 'Late Night' - THE REPORT THAT HAS GOTTEN ME WEEPING IN FRONT OF MY COMPUTER SCREEN FOR SOMETHING THAT'S NOT EVEN PERMANENT. T____________T Why? Because what they said in that was all true and touching and a-and. I just wept. I still have tears in my eyes whenever I think about it.

Look, I know he's not leaving! ;P He even laughed during his last shows whenever people in the audience booed him for leaving NY, saying he'd never be gone (or dead XD). But you know, I'll miss Late Night for sure.

Interesting tidbit: Would you believe I dreamt about Conan the night his last show aired here? NOT KIDDING, OH NO. I was hanging out with him in Hollywood, and he was showing me around (wasn't that supposed to be the other way around? XD). I guess even my subconsciousness knew how upset I was that night. Oh well.

Oh and another random note: The Lonely Island's album weep it's killing me with its awesomeness. I seriously don't know how or why, but I'm amazingly addicted to the songs. B-Boys. Why so talented and funny at the same time. ;o; (I congratulate Andy, Jorma and Kiv for such a successful album! \o/ Love you boys. ♥)

EDIT: HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGE HARRISON! ♥
Keeping my promise, lol.

i'm sickie~ (as my neechan would say ;o;)

2009-02-23T20:30:00.002+08:00

Yes. I have a fever running. It's worse earlier, much worse, that I needed to sleep it off after watching the Oscars, lol. I think it's kind of cyclical (this is me being superstitious) as in I get sick either every year or more frequently, every six months--the last time I had a fever was in August last year. What sucks really is that my parents are not around; they left for Malaysia last Saturday. ;o;

I sort of diagnosed myself and prescribed my own medication though. Luckily when my dad called, I was right about the medicine: just a simple pain-reliever would do. XD (I also have a headache, although it's pretty much gone now.)

Anyway, I have memes to post here that I've been meaning to post for the last two days. Good thing I haven't totally forgotten about them, because I nearly did a few days ago, lol.

Tagged by both Avee and Nicole
1. Write your LJ username
2. Write your two favorite bands/groups at the moment [not overall, just currently]
3. Write either I ♥ k-pop ; I ♥ j-pop ; I ♥ c-pop [this isn't really for anything, just to see how you draw hearts xD]
4. Write the name of your favorite person of all time [e.g. Yamada Ryosuke]
5. Write down your recently favored person [e.g. G-Dragon]
6. Tag 5 people to do this meme

And this is from Avee as well :)

Reply to this post, and I will list three or more things I like about you. Then repost to your own journal to spread the love.

Finally, I apologize if I haven't been around lately (or perhaps in the next few days). I really don't have an excuse, but. Rest assured I just need some time to get back on the fandom again. Don't worry though, I haven't completely hid myself--I still watch Mei-chan no Shitsuji and Uta no Oniisan. :DDD

I'll get back to you dearies in a few days, all right? Have a good day! ♥

another milestone

2009-02-20T21:44:00.010+08:00

Can you believe it?

THE THIRD TIME IS THE CHARM!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOG!
YOU'RE ALREADY THREE YEARS OLD! ~~and counting~~
*throws confetti*

So yes, I sound like an idiot with nothing else to say. Nevertheless, I should mention that in the past year, I have already posted 115 entries, making my post count 275. I may not have reached my ~~ultimate~~ goal for the past year of reaching 200 posts all-in-all, but I surely have made more than I should've in a year. YAY ME!! :D

To have more purpose for this post XD, Here's a few highlights of the past year for me and my bloggie ♥:

1) For the past year, I've discovered two fandoms mainly: the very obvious Arashi (If you still don't know about this, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING ALL THIS TIME? UNDER A ROCK?), and technically, Saturday Night Live. SNL came totally at the last minute, as in December last year. Anyway, all other things that have kept my interest are Super Junior, J-actors (Tamaki Hiroshi and Mizushima Hiro mostly :D) and a bit of We Got Married.

2) This is especially for Jo: It's been a year since ~~we were~~ I was Junbaited. :P If you would care to browse my posts in February and March of last year (*cough*), you'd understand what this is all about.

3) I have, more often than I wanted to, experienced the Roller Coaster of Emotion. I noticed that whenever I post something very personal it ended up being serious, sometimes too serious, so I've tried to balance that with my insanty or with my fangirling, which oddly, can mean the same thing.

4) I've revisited ALL of my old fandoms, just for the heck of it--especially that I learned that I could recover all my lost Whose Line files. LOL. And surely, LiveJournal has helped a lot with that. :)
Which reminds me, I need to join a whole bunch of LJ comms other than Arashi comms. XD

5) Still Arashi related, I'm sorry, but this should be quite an amusing fact: Ninomiya Kazunari took a long time to become my ichiban, although he had become my niban (a position he also shared with Sakurai Sho at the time) with Aiba Masaki as my unofficial ichiban. How he became my official, full-time ichiban was the fault of a song--Gimmick Game. *facepalms*

6) Arashi fans are awesome: scans, subs, translations, downloads, friends. Half of what makes Arashi awesome is their fans. ♥

7) I stopped greeting birthdays at my blog because I'm cross-posting at LJ as well, and I think people at my friends list over there wouldn't care less about the people I was greeting. I'm currently keeping a journal though, with birthdays, so I still do the greetings on that. :) I might still greet some people every once in a while though, but mostly I'll do it here.

8) This is the first year where I've been willing ENOUGH to learn another language. You know what language it is, right? ;D

9) Ohno's new drama: Maou! Arashi Around Asia again! Four singles in a year! Number 1 single of the year!
...I may have entered the fandom too late, but surely I've entered in the best time. :Db

10) I've written a lot of mini-stories, more than poems (I think). Most commonly a mini-story resembles a real-life situation that I went through, sometimes it's fandom-related--you just have to distinguish which is which. XD Seriously though, I'm glad I've resorted to writing as my therapy. It helps. A lot.

11) Line of the year: "Remember kids, this is EXACTLY why I turn to fangirling, so that I can continue to believe that there are actually good people left in this world, who aren't selfish and stupid."
It can be found in this post. :Dv

12) Title of the year: pressured = fangirling like mad
:Db

13) My debut! How could I forget! I have only one final say on that day though: That's the happiest day of my life so far, but I was sad that it was one night only.

14) I. Made a lot of random posts, as in more of lists rather than actual paragraphs. I d-don't know exactly why that is.

15) My DS Lite!! ♥♥♥ That is officially my "son" (yes, it's a boy XD) ~~with Nino~~, and I came up with the name, actually, months ago, but I'm only revealing it now: Neej. *hides*

16) A lot of meme! Fun meme! :D

17) And to end this highlights-of-the-year list: ARASHI HAS EATEN MY BRAIN. I guess that's all you need to know about that particular fandom.

Oh and I think as a birthday gift to my blog, I persuaded my dad to persuade my mom to let me use her credit card for my yet another Arashi shopping. I ordered the calendar and the AAA 2008 DVD!!!1!!1! *jumps up and down*

And for someone who's celebrating his birthday again:

There's just one thing
I've never considered as imperfect
And as silly as that thought seems
For you I will be direct

It's you, my white knight
My number one guy, my role model
The one who has opened my eyes
And shaped my world well

You are the reason why I care
Why I live for the people that I love
I thank you with all my heart
You are truly sent to me from above

It's spontaneous, cheesy and unexpected, but. I've already said what I can say to you over the past two years. I just hope you will continue to be the admirable person that you are, because you truly, truly are the reason why I am what I am.

Happy birthday, Bri. ♥

i've finally figured you out.

2009-02-17T22:07:00.004+08:00

I've always asked myself why I've tried and tried to make sense of everything that's happened between and around us. We had our little moments, and that always gave me hope, but actually, there's nothing more after that. I ended up hoping more than the reality could provide me. Worse, I couldn't blame you enough, because you're one of the nicest guys I've ever met, literally. Yet somewhere inside my head, I knew there's something (or someone) I should blame for whatever confusion I had. So of course, by default, I firstly blamed myself: for falling to that typical nice-guy approach you've always shown to all the people that you meet; for not preparing myself for anything that would happen; for being so naive, so stupid.

But when I realized my situation (and actually another person's, but let's not go to that), after years of hoping and months of wondering, I've finally learned what's wrong with what you're doing, despite you being almost perfect.

Firstly, your charms--you certainly know how to use it, and God knows how many women you've made swoon to that particular characteristic of yours. The thing is, you use it all the time; and I've always felt you've used it too much--like you never know how to control it. The result: you left me confused as to what your true intentions were. Maybe I was stupid enough to misunderstand things, but no one could ever completely blame me for everything. (You heard me.) It has always been you who constantly use that charm.

Secondly, your awareness--perhaps this is what I feel most strongly about, although I know I can't prove this definitely. Nevertheless, at least this is what I've observed over the years. Simply put, you've never been aware. I mean, you're nice and (more than) approachable and sweet, but you never try to understand the consequences. For instance, you've never known how I must've felt after everything. You've never even tried, at all. So to speak, I guess your only flaw resides on the fact that you are too oblivious, if not insensitive. I know it sounds harsh, but again, it's my observation and I feel too strongly about this not to let it out.

I guess, you're a typical guy after all.

Finally, the fact that you never stop. You've done it before, you did it again recently, and I'm betting that surely, you'll do it again once we meet. I don't know exactly when you will realize, but I believe it won't be too soon. I'm underestimating you, that's true, but then again I've known you for a while now. And people do not easily change. You will do it again, maybe not to me, maybe not to someone else I know, but you most certainly will.

Notice how these three are very much related to each other, and how much they all lead to one thing: that you do not control something you should, and that you ignore something that you should not.

Don't worry though; I won't want to kill you the next time I see you, cry and beg for your attention, nor do I demand for your apologies. Suffice to say now that I've finally read you like a book (and hopefully I really have), I won't be caught off-guard as badly as before. You're still a nice guy after all. I just wish you well and hope that I'll be the last of your victims, because even if you don't intend it, you have hurt someone. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one you can pertain to as "someone".

*breathes out* Woo! Nice to have it all out, finally. :D

just dropping by

2009-02-14T23:54:00.000+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY GUYS!
♥ ♥ ♥

Regardless of with whom you spent it, I hope you all had a wonderful time! :D

currently on Jun phase

2009-02-10T23:53:00.000+08:00

Reason # 1: THIS.

Actually this is my favorite Jun shot over at the Arashi 2008-2009 calendar, and I happen to have this as my cellphone wallpaper (so I can have use for it other than for ogling XD).

Reason # 2: Hana Yori Dango Returns.
I have no reason of rewatching the drama all of a sudden other than clearing a space off of my external hard drive. I'm not kidding. I burned all the HYD stuff because it's taking so much space (and would you believe I cleared off more than 10GB? ;o;) and BAM! I'm in love with that ﾊﾞｶ all over again. I also burned Myuu no Anyo Papa ni Ageru, but. Let's not go there anymore. *weeps*

Reason # 3: Happy!Jun has gotten to me again. ;___;
Well, AnS will always be blamed for this. I get kind of weak when I see Jun happy and giddy and dorky and always game and lsdjfkgsa. What's worse (?), I can see Jun's efforts of getting closer to Sho and that gets my itty bitty weak heart every time. ♥ (Remember the "Sakurai-kun, do you like Ryuuta-kun?" and the leather jacket? Yeah.)

I just want to declare that, is all. 8D

Also, from An-chan, you see how lonely the Hime is? I-I can't even. WOW, JUN.

P.S. I want like, this week's ANS to be subbed now. It's got too much dork (those costumes OMG) and too much newhair!Nino and I want to flail about newhair!Nino. l;sd;lfjddsak I've never liked his hair sooo much. ;___;

what a short weekend

2009-02-07T21:46:00.003+08:00

Here's a meme from roobes83@LJ and Avee! ♥ I particularly enjoyed this one. :)

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 5 people to be tagged. (I TAG NO ONE. OR EVERYONE! XD)

1. I love writing about things and listing them: special events, lyrics of current favorite song, things-to-do, even stories, because I'm fond of reading myself (even in my silliest times XD), aside from the fact that in the first place, I have a faulty memory.

2. I'm a perfectionist, in a very bizarre way. I never become satisfied with anything I do, and yet I know I've always done my best in everything.

3. I admit this wholeheartedly: I'm a complete hopeless romantic.

4. I'm fond of various TV shows, bands and celebrities, but I'm a fan of only the following: Backstreet Boys, Whose Line is it Anyway?, House M.D., The Beatles, The Office (US), Doctor Who, Psych, and of course, Arashi. That's in chronological order, btw.

5. My music taste and influence spans fifty years. And now, it spans various cultures as well. LOL.

6. I also happen to be a very introvert person—that I don't speak much to people I just met, except if I know that we have something in common and that I hate forcing myself to have small talks. That's why I'm also amazed at my mom, who can absolutely talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere.

7. My sister and I have an interesting story. Apparently having a five-year gap made it hard for us to get along when we were younger. When I was in grade school, my sister was in high school, and we attended the same school. Yet we didn't talk often about ourselves (although I knew of my sister's antics back then XD), nor did we goof around much. (You have to take note that I was too shy before as well.) Now, we goof around like a bunch of drunks on New Year's Eve, and we're much closer now. :D

8. I never got used to sleeping "early", even when I was in grade school.

9. I'm naturally clumsy. I often trip, knock down something—I even knocked down a mug on a department store XD—or bump into someone. What's interesting is that I have various relatives (especially MY MOM) who have such tendencies. I guess it's in the genes, huh.

10. I love attending concerts, especially with my family.

11. I'm the kind of person who is very thrifty (stingy? lol) in everything: money, paper, supplies, just to name a few.

12. I love (and always will) singing Gospel songs, since I became part of the school choir (though audition was compulsory) when I was in the fourth grade. In fact, I have the lyrics and chords of Gospel songs in my laptop.

13. I was a tomboy when I was younger. I only had guys, my cousins to be precise, as playmates, and we often played guy games: baseball, toy guns, toy cars, and even Sentai stuff. It didn't help that my sister was THE tomboy of our group.

14. In connection to # 13, because of my tomboy tendencies, I was known in my class as "the tomboy in the group who only looked at boys as her playmates". I also used that as repellence to boys who liked me at the time. (I wonder why I had such a strong resistance to guys I didn't like before. XD)

15. I love collecting anything worth collecting: concert tickets, pens, stationeries, CDs, DVDs, books, etc.

16. I'm the most optimistic person you'll ever meet. Even though I'm aware that the situation is clearly very hopeless, I still won't think it's that bad; I always see the bright side of everything. That's also why I don't worry too much in times of bad moments.

17. I've been dreaming of being a painter since I was a kid, but I realized that I had no talent whatsoever. I ended up being a writer instead.

18. Boys talk! :P I never look for this when I look at guys, and this is something I've just noticed this of all the guys that I’ve liked (especially celebrities haha): physically, I'm fond of guys with prominent cheekbones and/or jawbones (aside from being adorable that is, lol); personality-wise, there must be sense of humor (sarcasm!!) and shamelessness. ~~A-And I wish I was kidding about the last part. XD~~

19. I love, love, love vocal harmonies! That's why I love Boyz II Men, the Backstreet Boys, the Beach Boys and the Beatles. :)

20. I have no definite career goals, because I don't know what would happen to me in the future anyways. I'd like to have a sense of mystery on that part, perhaps partly because I'd to be surprised about that as well. (And this is where optimism comes in. ^^)

21. I've always wanted to feel independent, even though all my life I've been dependent to someone or something else.

22. I hate tedious puzzles. And there's only one reason: laziness.

23. I love video games, even when I was still younger. (If you're wondering, yes, that's also influenced by my cousins, lol.) But what's interesting is that I love it even more when I'm observing someone who plays waaay better than I do. ...*cough*

24. Sports and I have a love-hate relationship. Sometimes we like each other, sometimes we don't. And sometimes it's somewhat one-sided, most commonly on my side. orz

25. I've never been a fan of thrill rides. I'm an acrophobic, and I hate the feeling of being dropped. I can't really elaborate more but sometimes I regret that I have that fear.

So, any questions? I'll entertain them while I'm still willing to, lol.

--------------------------------

I

Okay, so I went to Procter & Gamble in Makati yesterday for a career day, and I've never felt so tired having done a written examination. Like seriously. .___.

I came at the office building just 45 minutes before the whole thing started, and I thought I would go there alone, when after signing up I saw Jo :D right there standing in the line. Anyway, even though we previously had buddies with us for that day, we ended up accompanying each other when they didn't arrive on time. Talk about coincidence. XD

We had the "cool" office tour—seriously it's cool, they have the Wii Room, the iPod Room, the Dancers Room, it's dangerous enough for us procrastinators. Then the career talk with employees' testimonials, and then the application exam. Which probably wasn't the worst I've taken, but. If it gives you headaches like there's no tomorrow, then. I swear to God that's the worst headache I've ever had. You don't even want to know how I dealt with that before falling asleep. (And damn it I wanted to sleep!!!!)

II

My cousin texted me last night, asking if I already had Beautiful days. Honestly, I thought she had forgotten about it, because last Christmas when she'd asked me what I wanted as a gift, that's what I had told her. LOL. Anyway, I was wondering why she asked all of a sudden, and when I asked her, she told me she was in Thailand. I totally forgot she was going there on February!!

So I asked her if she'd already watched the concert (she went there for—you guessed it—Super Junior), and she said only the press conference was over and the concert was to follow later. She was super disappointed though to find out that her favorite, Kyuhyun (Prince Kyu!), wasn't there. At least she get to see the rest of her favorite ~~pretty~~ boys.

I'm expecting stories when she comes back from Thailand, so to speak. XD

III

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a Wii. And my mom totally was the one to blame for that.

She wanted to do some exercises on the Wii, apparently, and she told me it's her gift to herself. LOL. My dad's starting to ask me what games I want for the console, and for someone who has only played once ever, I don't know what to ask. (Guys, if you have recommendations, this is the right time to give me some. XD)

Honestly, my mom would be the last person to be interested in video games. Srsly.

--------------------------------

Since many people have already made a picspam for this week's AnS, I have only one thing to say about this episode:

:o" height=240 width=427>
NAGASE TOMOYA IS ONE AWESOME SENPAI. *o*

Lastly, VOICE is already subbed!! Wooo~ I miss Toma for some reason. XD

even though you don't know

2009-02-04T21:50:00.004+08:00

...and even though you're not going to read this, here I go.

I apologize for thinking of you in that way, for thinking of your situation in that way, for even thinking of such things. I'm known to be incapable of controlling myself (because most of the time I don't think I'm doing any harm--yet), and this time even I know that I've far become too uncontrollable that although I am not hurting you or someone who's involved with you, what I've done is truly unfair to you.

I guess it's safe to assume that I've never felt so guilty for doing this to you, despite the situation seeming to be inevitable, that I cannot even excuse myself; I cannot get rid of this feeling myself because I know how big and regrettable this mistake has become.

I feel truly sorry, and I'm willing to do everything in my power to make it up to you.

Perhaps by now you're wondering what I will do or how I will be from hereon. I tell you--there's only one thing I'm very certain about: I'll still admire you, but I will know my limits. Maybe I'll admire you from a distance, and this time I'm going to stand by what I've firmly decided to do, never to disgrace you again.

I know I cannot stop completely, because I believe you should be admired just as you rightly deserve to be admired. So please forgive me because I never meant to hurt you, or anyone around you.

I only meant to love you.

i guess it's that time again

2009-02-01T00:52:00.000+08:00

I don't think I'm coherent enough to make a coherent post. So you'll have to excuse my random ramblings... I guess like you always do. XD

And you know I love all of you guys for that. ♥ Updates ahead!

1) I've been doing well in school, and this actually surprises me. I got one of the highest scores in my major (and while I've had the professor before, I NEVER got excellent grades from her), and yes, I consider that a miracle. I also did well in the quizzes of my two other subjects, thankfully. :)

2) Just last Wednesday, in that same major subject, did it hit me that I'M GOING TO BE WORKING AT A CORPORATION IN FOUR MONTHS. As part of my degree, I have 3 three-month terms of On-the-job training at a company. And I'll be starting in mid-April/May. So many things appeared in my mind: Where will I end up? Will I do well? Will I have my chance of working/studying overseas? And I hear there's more free time when you start working :P

3) I have this friend/classmate, who is the MOST spaced-out person I've encountered. I mean, I've known him since freshman year (he's my blockmate), and he really is THAT spacey. And I didn't think of Ohno until I learned that the term for his weirdness is "spacey". XDD Let me show you what I mean.

After class...
Spacey: I'm going to sell calculators in our bookstore.
Me: That's great! You're really into this salesman thing, aren't you?
Spacey: Yeah! *end of conversation, turns back on us*
Jenny: *starts talking about other things with me*
Me & Jenny: *about to leave*
Jenny: *to him* Bye, *insert his name here*!
Spacey: *ignores*
Jenny:
Me:
Me: Uh.
Spacey: *looks back at us*
Spacey: ?
Spacey: *realizes* Bye!!
Me & Jenny: LOL.

4) I watched the second episode of Mei-chan no Shitsuji! I love this drama now. And Kiba. And Rihito. But more of this drama. I wonder how Rihito and Mei would end up if there's a rule against mistress-butler love? (I have a theory, and it's not good. ;___;) And I'm still wondering why Rihito chooses Mei, since there are many hints that lead to this. akljfdsklf I need subs of the third episode~ *dies*

5) I KNOW WHAT I FORGOT IN MY UTA NO ONIISAN POST: OHNO'S TAN. I completely have nothing against his fishing and ~~sexy~~ manly appearance, but. I get distracted when I watch this drama, especially when I suddenly go, "Ohno's so tanned." Ohno please don't get any tanner. ;___;

6) Okay, since I've been thinking about "working" overseas (albeit that's not really an option in my OJT right now because it's too troublesome for me to work only three months and go back here and study again), I didn't immediately see my mom's attempt to negotiate my "future" with me.

I've never told her about my OJT worries just yet, and um. She tried to talk me into taking my Masters in Washington or California, since we have no worries of lodging there. Then she started rambling about leaving the country and whatnot, and telling me to never forget about my younger brother, who's autistic. Now, it's true that I've never talked about my brother's future, but even before my mom told me this, I'd vowed to myself that he's going to be my "social responsibility" when I enter the corporate world. I'm going to help him get better, because not only my parents invested on his welfare so much and I want to help them on that, but also I want my parents to be happy. I know that's the only thing my mom is really wishing for, so.

I really wish I could do my Masters in the States though.

7) I can't think of anything else. So this is my final number. :P

And because I had nothing to do last Friday while waiting for a meeting with my organization...

You Are Traditional and Dependable

You view the world with childlike wonder. You are very inquisitive. You can help but spy, investigate, and ask questions.

You are a natural communicator and facilitator of harmony. You value peace above everything else.

You're sweet and easy to please. You seek out comfort in your life.

You seek security in your life. Feeling safe is important to you.

The Sandwich Cookie Personality Test

Almost completely true, especially the one that talks about harmony. I hate it when people fight. :)

You Attract a Leo

When attention hungry, dramatic Leo meet you, they've met their match.

You can intrigue any Leo who's used to being fawned over and worshipped.

You don't try to steal the spotlight from your Leo. Instead, you offer the right mix of mystery and novelty.

You understand that as long as you don't upstage your Leo, your Leo loves to show you off!

What Sign Do You Attract?

No comment. XD

You'll Have 2 True Loves

You love being in love... so much so that it's very hard for you to be single.

Unfortunately, it's difficult for you to stay in love over time. Too many people intrigue you!

Only your true love will be able to keep you interested over time.

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 3

You are most compatible with people born on the 8th, 17th, and 26th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

LOL, Jenny agreed on the first sentence. But hey, it's not like I have different boyfriends every week. Having different crushes, on the other hand... XDD
Guess who's born on the 17th of a particular month...
~~I'd take the 26th as well, but you know. I'll get killed by my best friend. XD~~

Gosh, I'm already sleepy. That's it for now, guys! G'night! ♥ ♥ ♥

as promised, if you've read my entries

2009-01-25T23:49:00.001+08:00

Meme # 1: stolen (with permission) from Jeffer and was later on tagged by Avee

a. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blog and replace any question that they dislike with a new, original question.
b. Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.

1. Where did your username come from?
Again with this question, lol. But seriously, I was looking for a name of my heroine in a story (that's actually the longest story I've written in my entire life, and I decided to stop it XD), and found Jaden. MD is a symbol of my devotion to House, M.D., haha.

2. How do you style your hair?
I let it down, since it's short. I usually don't have a style for it, I just comb it as is.

3. What is making you happy right now?
The future? (I know I was just depressed about this a while back, but. XD) I'm somehow excited of what's in store for me. :)

4. What are you currently reading?
None at the moment, since I'm currently busy in school. Sigh. I'm looking into The Unbearable Lightness of Being though, given to me by my sister.

5. Do you need music to study/write?
Depends on the situation. Sometimes I can read/study/write homework with music, sometimes I can't. Most of the time I write with music though.

6. What is the last song on your play list?
The one that's currently playing is Lips of an Angel by Hinder.

7. What was your first car?
I was hoping for a Picanto, so I could finally drive. My parents didn't give me that (or any car), so.

8. Do you have a crush at the moment?
LOL, you would not believe whom I have as a crush right now.

9. What is your favorite movie genre?
Most of the time, comedies or feel-good movies, to serve their purpose for me. The occasional ones are action, suspense, drama. NOT horror movies. I don't live to scare myself.

10. What was the last thing you ate today?
Meatballs, lol.

11. What is your favorite color?
~*~BLUE~*~. And yellow and black. :D

12. What websites do you visit daily?
Yahoo Mail, LJ, my blog in Blogger, the search engines for my daily news/pop culture feed.

13. What's your favorite food?
Pasta? I think.

14. Which languages do you wish you spoke?
Japanese, French (friends, teach me XD), Spanish and Korean (I think).

15. What is your biggest pet peeve?
People who talk behind one's back. Everyone does that--it's true--but don't do it to destroy others. It's not mature.

16. Do you have birthmark?
Yes! XD I have one on my left arm.

17. Who was your childhood idol?
I believe it's Brian Littrell. Not because he's from a boyband, but I adored his ideals from way back when. I think I still do. :)

18. Where would you like your next holiday to be?
NEW YORK PLEASE. Tokyo would be nice as well. :D

19. What do you do to fall asleep?
I think of a lot of things, although most of the time that doesn't help. Music and TV sometimes help.

20. Tell me something you love about the person who tagged you.
Jeffer - As I (and others) have observed, she's like Nino, so maybe that's why I adore her. And I learn so much from her too. :D
AVee - OMGmytwinsister. We have so much in common, we mostly have the same wavelength! And I thought Nino was only our common ground. LOL. :Dv

I seriously refuse to tag anyone because I don't know whom I can tag. Just whoever wants to do it. :Dv

Okay next. Since I have too many dramas to catch this season, I've decided to follow Mei-chan no Shitsuji and Uta no Oniisan. I'm afraid I'll be late on commentaries and such, because of school and Jenny and I have scheduled Fridays for these dramas. The subs are out by that time, and we don't have regular classes on that day. :D

Also, I'm afraid that this will be random (literally) and completely nonsensical. You have been warned. :DDD

Mei-chan no Shitsuji
* Jenny and I agree on this one: we adore Mizushima Hiro more than ever. ♥ (Sorry I had to start with that one.) He's sooo believable as a butler. And the way that he smiles and stares at Mei~ *melts*
* Kiba is so cute, to think how expressionless his mistress is.
* Jenny is rooting for Mameshiba and Natsumi (if I'm write with the name; Mei's friend), lol.
* Mameshiba is okay for me (it's Sato Takeru!) but, you know. He looks younger than Mei. Maybe it's the height, lol.
* I love how the bullying is not as long as I'd anticipated it to be. Makes the drama less boring.

LOL, I seem to have forgotten everything else. XDD I'll get back to that on my next review perhaps. ~~And this isn't even a proper review!! ;___;~~

Uta no Oniisan
* Kenta's thoughts about kids are so admirable. Honestly I was surprised, considering he had such a negative view of things around him.
* Honestly, I think I can relate to Kenta's situation. Especially when his dad said that there's no easy job in this world (or something like that). I love how I can learn from these dramas. ;___;
* I seriously do NOT know whom to root for Kenta. The producer somehow annoys me for some reason I can't explain. And I was a bit ehhh~ on his ex. I can't say yet if I like her or not.
* Also, MARUUU! Maru's so adorable in this. :3
* I'm wondering how this drama goes on. And no, I haven't watched the second episode yet. I'm waiting for STORMY's subs. :Db

So. How come I'm doing this when I have exams for tomorrow? D:
I miss a lot of you guys, idk why. ;__; ♥

To our favorite Study Leader :D

2009-01-24T23:48:00.004+08:00

Since (1) I'm lazy for not creating an entirely new banner (if you've noticed, this is also my current semi-friends banner--and I'm not linking the post to save myself of the embarrassment), (2) I don't want to procrastinate Sho's birthday greeting post, and (3) I'll be catching a show on TV in five minutes, I'm going to do this now. It's also already midnight here, so. Here goes!

To my most-common niban (as I've told Cindy) and probably my long-lost brother, I wish Sakurai all the best!! I wish I could go to New York by next week just for him, but. ;___; (What sucks is, I'm actually planning a trip with my sister and her friend to NY, which probably come May/April, and my parents want to spend Christmas in the States. Talk about timing. ;___;) But that aside, there's hope the day that I get to chat with Sho about our twisted similarities will come. XD Okay, I'm deviating from the topic... I just wish Yatterman would do so great in the box office. Am I right in that thought ladies? :DDD

P.S. I'll do my pending memes tomorrow and a couple of recap on the two dramas I've decided to religiously follow for this season. (Hint: It's the first two dramas I mentioned in my last entry. XD)

Night! ♥

hai guyz i bring you meme.

2009-01-18T22:10:00.001+08:00

Before anything else, again I haven't caught up much with the Arashi fandom because of my other fandoms (which may or may not involve Western ones). But hopefully before this week ends I can catch up with at least UtaOni and Mei-chan no Shitsuji. And maybe Love Shuffle.

However, Betty has influenced me with Akai Ito, so there's that too. I need to get going with Boys Before Flowers as well. Why so many dramas, Asia, why. *weeps*

Enough rants. I can't think of anything to talk about now, so. Onto the memes!

This is from An-chan (change417@LJ) ♥
1. Open Paint.
2. Close your eyes.
3. DRAW A CAT!

Um, yeah.

Seriously though, I think that's the best I can come up with. I told you Sakurai Sho and I were practically twins!! *shot* I'm also not attempting to do one with my eyes OPEN, since I know I'd still fail. So badly. I already am doing you a favor of not ruining your days, friends. XD

Okay, that's meme number 1. For those who haven't done this yet, do it if you want to. :)

Next is from Maya (chouxcream@LJ) ♥!
Basically you just have to answer the questions for me in the comments. :Dv

YOU
1. Name:
2. Date of birth:
3. Where you live:
4. What makes you happy:
5. Currently listening/the last thing you listened to:
6. While reading this LJ, what is especially good or bad?
7. An interesting fact about you:
8. What do you love at the moment?
9. Favorite place to spend time:
10. Favorite lyric:
11. The best time of the year:

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A band, a song, or album:

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Look at my friends-list and tell what you like about one of our mutual friends:
4. Put this in your journal so that I can tell you what I like about you

*patiently waits* ♥

Done! I'm going to do the remaining ones for tomorrow, or the next days. If I don't feel lazy. orz

On another, more serious note, right now I still don't know why I don't feel particularly happy. I mean, I've gotten over the hey-look-who's-unsure-of-my-future-and-I'm-stupid-and-helpless-so-help-me phase, but I still feel that I have overlooked something and now I'm feeling kind of sad about it. So I can completely say that I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHY this is happening. I seriously need some good news right now. Maybe I just need to watch Arashi again, lol. I'll catch up I swear ¬¬

What else? Oh and it's my mom's birthday on Barack Obama's inauguration! I wanted to watch the inauguration, but heck, I forgot my family and I would eat out for dinner. LOL. So I guess I'll download that. (I hope it'll be available in the internets.^^b)

Last question for tonight: Can anyone recommend me a good movie? My dad's asking me what DVDs I want and all I can think of right now is Tropic Thunder (don't ask). I actually prefer comedies and/or feel-good movies, you know, to fuel my optimistic thoughts. LOL. Although, I wouldn't mind anything that's good. :D

That's it for now? I hope I can catch up better in the next few days XD
G'night lovesss~~ ♥

hey look who's procrastinating

2009-01-13T23:07:00.004+08:00

Hello friends! How have you lovelies been? ♥

Well, I have started to become busy (even if it's just one-week into school orz) and I really wanted to post last night, only that I knew I didn't have enough time for blogging and school on the same night. D: So, here I am!

Before I go on, I have to finish my Happiness Meme. :P

(This will be three updates in one go. XD)

THE HAPPINESS MEME

Rules: For eight days you have to post something that made you happy that day. Tag eight people to do the same.
(Not tagging anyone~ :D)

FOR DAY SIX:

- We have a subject here, it's non-major (it's even offered to all colleges here), but every person I know dread of this: We call it TredTwo, I forgot what Tred stands for, and it's a course on Morality. Also, yes, we take it after TredOne. Why do we dread it so much? The number one reason is the professor. Second reason is the tasks that the professor provides, then again that also depends on the professor. Some professors love to torture students with lots of reading and writing, and for a non-major, it's very troublesome. And some professors like to ask you questions such as "Do you believe in God?" and considering these are supposed to be religion classes, I don't think that question is appropriate at all. Well to cut the long story short we got a priest for our instructor. While I thought he's going to be strict, he isn't, fortunately. ^__^ He's actually funny.

- Oh and for our first day on TredTwo, he asked us what thing should he remember about us. Jenny already said writing fanfic and poetry so I couldn't say it anymore. Instead, I went downloading videos off torrent. He then asked me how much space I'd already taken, and I said "approximately 100GB". Which is true. :PPP

- I have some of my old blockmates as my classmates!! I really miss my block. I think this will be an appropriate time to give you a visual:

(Click to enlarge :D)

During freshman year, more than a year ago. Nostalgia! ^o^
The two people in white shirt and green lace on their necks, they're our senpais. :)
Look for me~~ (I'm actually hard to spot here. Seriously. XD)

- I went home from Manila early (since it's only Thursday)! And I got two good naps! ♥

- My dad brought me home some Chinese food. Yum!

- Watched Family Guy. I love Stewie so much. XD

- This is totally random: Don't you just love it when comedians crack up? Or at least try hard not to show they are cracking up. Let's just say I watched an SNL episode where this moment occurs. You know what's great? It's totally LIVE on national television.

FOR DAY SEVEN:

- I had a good sleep! :D

- LOL, I know I wrote something here (two entries ago) about something I was feeling depressed of. Now I've felt so much better! ^__^ (I want to hug all of you who made me feel better ♥)

- For the first time in ages, I felt that we had a very good internet connection. orz

- We had guests over. For quite sometime I was downstairs with them, listening to my mom's stories, to their stories, while I was surfing using our home computer. After a while I got bored, so I went to my room and listened to some music. When I had the mood for listening to Arashi, my dad entered my room. Well. You know what happens. We talked about Arashi, sort of.

[Koe plays, Aiba's part starts]
Dad: Wait, wait, let me guess who sings.
Me: ... okay.
[Aiba's part ends, then Nino's starts]
Me: The first one passed already! The next one's a different voice.
Dad:
Dad: Sho?
Me: LOL. Heck no. It's Aiba. You always confuse Sho and Aiba, Dad.
Dad: Wait, who's Aiba again? ...the one who speaks English?
Me: Exactly.
Dad: But that's what I meant! I just thought his name was Sho.
Me: lolz okay whatever you say.

[Ohno's part plays I forgot what the song was orz]
Dad: WAIT. Don't tell me who sings.
Me: ...
Dad: Ohno.
Me: Wow, you do recognize his voice already! :P

[I Want Somebody plays]
Dad: I want to guess this one too.
[after 30 seconds...]
Dad: Sho.
Me: *facepalms* That's Jun!
Dad: Oh. So that's why.

And finally...
[Niji plays]
Me: Dad, this is Nino's solo. He composed this. :)
Dad: Really?
Me: :D
[after probably a minute or so]
Dad: Nino sounds like a kid.

orz. That's my dad for you guys. XD

- There's a J-drama that had just ended showing here--obviously it's canned since it's from 1998--Precious Time. I recognize the girl, she also starred in Minami-kun no Koibito. I'm just amused that her character name is Masaki. :D

FOR DAY EIGHT: LAST!

- I downloaded the scans from Sho's shoot. All I can say? HOT and SEXY *o*

- You already know that I'm shallow, but I received comments from the files I posted to share to the fandom! :)

- I finally rested well. I love Saturdays. ♥

- Ooh, I saw Church boy today. You don't know him, but he's a guy from my high school that I've despised ever since, because of a lot of complicated things that surround us both. And he thinks I like him. (You probably don't think this qualifies in the happiness meme, but trust me, it does. XD)

- I watched Nino's Channel Rock! (LOL I'm so behind) I love how he said that he could also deceive people like Koichi could. :P

So there. I actually need to get going, and I'll post that "Draw a cat! :D" meme tomorrow, hopefully. I'm procrastinating and I need to go and do my homework. じぁね! ♥

i'm weird, don't be surprised ;P

2009-01-07T22:31:00.001+08:00

It was first day of school today, and so far so good! I'm happy about it, oddly. :) I've had my first three subjects today, Human Resource Management, Financial Management ~~Part~~ 2 and Political Science.

My professor for the first subject was someone I've had before, and she's one of the nicest professors I've had. FinMan2, is okay, I hope. I'm really surprised, though, that the guy I used to have a crush on chose to sit beside me! Never thought it'd happen ever. LOL. And. Political Science will be a term-long discussion about Gossip Girl, Batman and all the other common political stuff. Like Meteor Garden.

I should really be happy today (please see the Happiness meme below), but I don't feel particularly good. And really, I'm kind of frustrated that I don't know exactly why. I mean, I might have some idea, but. Perhaps I just don't want to admit it.

I think it's one of those times again--when my pessimistic side crushes my optimistic dreams (which, actually are majority of my way of thinking). During these times I feel that I can't particularly satisfy any need or want I currently desire or long for, and sometimes I wonder if I would still be capable of reaching that dream. Sometimes I wonder, how on earth I'd be able to reach my dreams, when every chance I see is as impossible as the next one? Ah questions that only the future can answer.

Still, I'm not sure if these are the reasons behind my sudden sadness. I guess I don't care what the reason is--I just want this to be over soon.

And as a result, I started two poems today (might post those when I finish writing them), heard some really sad songs ("The Man Who Can't Be Moved" and "Deep Sorrow" ~~Ohno's song XP~~ are among them), and basically almost poured everything out here. If I'd cry later then maybe that could help with what I feel too.

Enough about that. Now for something a little bit happier :)

THE HAPPINESS MEME

Rules: For eight days you have to post something that made you happy that day. Tag eight people to do the same.

FOR DAY FOUR:
- I received Jeffer's card/gift!! That made me really happy. ^___^ ♥
(Btw, I so knew you'd give me that photo. Good choice of shot too! XD)
- I'm the cheesiest fan there is. Listened to the Backstreet Boys' most recent album.
- Since I was about to go back to Manila, my mom told me, "I'll miss my baby." ;__;
- THIS

Saw this when I went to the wholesale store. :D
- "Amie" by the Pure Prairie League. I couldn't get it out of my head for the entire day.
- YouTube-ing until I was pratically knocked out. At three in the morning.

FOR DAY FIVE:
- I received the gift from Jenny! ♥ It was a cute cellphone/mp3 pouch. It's sparkly AND blue!! ;P
- I was chosen as a leader for my group in our major subject. Aside from the fact that it seldom happens, Jenny called me リーダー. :DDD
- I already mentioned this: we have a totally awesome professor for PoliSci. And for our first treat, early dismissal!
- For our 3-hour break, Jenny and I watched the RnK finale and some other Arashi hijinks she missed during the Christmas vacation.
- Again, I had my used-to-be crush as a seatmate today. For the whole semester actually. I'm happy about this because this never happens to me. LOL.
- I'm addicted to Ohno's Deep Sorrow. Such a beautifully sad song. *sniffles*

Btw, about the letters and whatnot, since our President declared holidays for the entire Christmas season (that's about two weeks), I'm guessing the letters would arrive later from the Post Office. So. I hope I receive them soon too. T^T

I'm still restless, and yet I don't know what to do. So um. Good night for now, I guess. ♥

a quick postie

2009-01-06T02:12:00.001+08:00

THE HAPPINESS MEME

Rules: For eight days you have to post something that made you happy that day. Tag eight people to do the same.

FOR DAY TWO:
- Because I heard David Tennant's leaving DW (*sobs*), I watched my favorite DW episode in a while, The Sound of the Drums and The Last of the Time Lords. I must say though, John Simms as the Master was awesome too! ♥
- Still on SNL phase, I'm becoming too addicted again. *o*
- I caught this program "Cool Japan" on NHK. I love how the guests all talked in English (they were from various countries, amazingly), and the Japanese hosts were talking in Japanese, and they all understood one another. XP
- Nino seranaded me to sleep last night, because my TV remote was kidnapped by my mom and I couldn't get it without waking them up. (Basically I just played all songs under "Ninomiya Kazunari" from my iPhone XD)
- There's a TV program in our local station, called "Gagambino". Gagamba is Tagalog/Filipino for spider. What amused me is how I associated the name with "Bambino". (Proof that I have Arashi living in my brain. Ktnxbye.)

FOR DAY THREE:
- I woke up earlier than usual! Which is a feat, really.
- My mom made chicken curry! Mmm.
- Even though I have school in less than two days, it's technically up to Thursday noon only so I'm happy enough for that. XP
- I learned about the Eleventh Doctor for Doctor Who! I like him so far. Though I'll miss DT deeply. D:
- I read a House/Wilson friendship fic (two of them actually) and then watched House, M.D. I've realized that: (1) I still adore Robert Sean Leonard; and (2) I tried to avoid slash fics but unfortunately even if they're tagged as "friendship" you can still see "romance" attached to it. Like this:
Rating: T - Genre: Romance/Friendship
...I don't know what to say.
- Bill Hader phase now. I'm somehow happy with how people think of him. (LOL now I sound like a proud mom. Don't mind me.)

Okay, I'm supposed to spam you guys tonight, but it's two in the morning and I'm afraid I'll do the rest tomorrow. School starts soon too. New teachers again. Gotta keep my head up!! ^__^

Have a wonderful day loves ♥

why can't i think of an appropriate title? D:

2009-01-04T00:38:00.001+08:00

And now I can't think of a proper intro for this post. I fail. D:

Anyway, Cindy (maiisaki@LJ) told me I should do this meme/quiz ~~again~~, since she seems really interested in my answers. XD I must tell you guys though, I already answered this before, so probably some of the answers would be the same as before. I know something will change though.

1) Who would you get caught in bed with?
The answer to this is very obvious. ;P (Btw, I'm glad my dad is already sleeping. XD)

2) Who would you most likely get into a fight with?
Hmm, I think, I'd most often fight with Jun. Honestly, I'd hate his being perfectionist. Or his being too serious about some things. Other than that I'd like to have a ~~playful~~ fight with Nino every so often. *is weird*

3) Who do you think is hot?
Sho. That's actually speaking in an objective point of view. And that's not because of the recently surfaced magazine shoot. (kldsjfkalgjd.) Also, yes, that's aside from my ichiban. XP

4) Who will you most likely marry?
I remember answering Ohno last time. LOL. *checks her previous answer* OHHHHH. I answered Nino last time, with Ohno as a close second! *smacks forehead*
Okay, I'll be honest now, of course Nino. Especially that he now thinks he is getting married someday. Ohohoho.

5) Who would you go on a date with?
I'm still sticking with Sho on this one. I'm still curious as to how Mr. Newscaster handles his dates. :>

6) Who is most like you?
Oh gosh, when will this question end? XD
Sakurai Sho: Mr. Study Leader (and yay for business degree! :D), sports-baka, fails at drawing (orz), at times serious but really a dork inside. :DDD

7) Who could you be enemies with?
No enemies please :( I'd just want a healthy relationship (with an occasional tease-fest).

8) Who would be your hang out/shopping buddy?
Who else? Jun-kun! I am also interested in his opinion about women's clothing. *shot* Aiba-chan is my choice for hang-out buddy. I bet we'd have lots of high energy moments. 8D

9) Who will you have a one night stand with?
Same answer as before. Why have a one-night stand? >DDD

10) Who will get along with your parents/family?
Well, my neechan already likes Sho. So there's that. I don't know about my dad, he refuses to comment on Nino (except that he looks like a seventeen-year-old *weeps*), and he likes Arashi in general. My mom, on the other hand, is not at all interested. Although, if ever she will be, she has no standards. She only asks for two things in a guy: rich and handsome. ~~Do you think she'd like Nino?~~

11) Who would you fall in love with?
Let's take it from a different perspective. If I were to meet them without being a fan (like being normal people I guess), I might go for Ohno. I like Leader's personality and ability all in all. ^__^ But maybe, Aiba, because I tend to fall for talkative/funny guys. D: Nino's a good candidate too. LOL.

12) Who would you want to be your brother?
Aiba! My reason is weird but since Aiba never had a sister, I'm curious on this aspect.

13) How would you confess your love for them?
Well, I'd start with a Bible-length passage on why I love them, and then--ah~ screw it. I can't think of anything good for this one.

14) Who do you think has the sexiest body?
In all honesty, Sho. But then, when you look at this, well. sad;lkasjfdsla. *is dead*

15) Who do you think will give the best sex ever?
My god, not this question again. *o* Ermmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, my answer still stands. Jun. Or Nino. Or Sho. I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE. (And I refuse to settle on one person, because I have an evil, evil brain and I don't want to gain access on it. >_<;;)

16) Situation: you saw the most gorgeous dress that you want to buy for a function but the price explodes right out of your budget, so you go up to one of the boys and ask to borrow some of his money. His reaction would be…
(I'm afraid I might go a little out-of-character here. I think? Hopefully not. XD)
Aiba: Eh? What is it that you're asking again? Money for a dress? Why me? o_o
Jun: Dress huh. All right. Just show me what it looks like before the actual occasion. (^^)b
Nino: EH??? A DRESS??? Don't you know how many games I can buy with that amount of money?!?!?! >:O
Ohno: Oh. Sure, here you go~ :)
Sho: It's out of your budget? Are you sure you want to buy this one? Perhaps there's another dress that'll suit you better, for a more affordable price. (^^;;)

17) What nicknames would you call the boys?
Aiba: Ma-chan. :D:D:D
Jun: JunJun!! ^__^
Nino: Kazu. Or Nee! :3 I got the latter from AVee (), and it's super cute. Don't you agree? :3
Ohno: Toshi or Toshi-chan or Captain. (Oh the many things I can call him. ;P)
Sho: Sakurai seems appropriate. Or Sho, since I can't think of anything else with Sho's name. D:

18) Who is most likely to settle in a quiet town beside the beach and find pleasure sitting and watching the sun rise and set?
*coughHanaDancough*

19) Who is most likely to be spotted at the buffet table?
Arashi = food, so all of them?? But if you want specifics, you might see Ohno getting ramen, while Nino sneaks up some other food on Ohno's plate, Sho gets his ever-favorite curry, while Aiba bugs him on getting some other food, and Jun tries to tell Aiba off by saying "Urusai!" or something similar.
(Note: I just copied this from my previous answer since I think it was the most clever way I could put it. XD)

20) Who would you like to go on an exotic vacation in Italy with?
I'd want Nino, but he hates travelling. D: I could answer Jun, but I want Ohno this time. Because I know he'd be low-profile. ;P And he just seems like an awesome companion!

21) Who do you want to be the godfather of your kids (with any of the boys)?
Well, Sho is a likely candidate, as much as I want all of them to be godfathers. The next answer: surely, it's with Nino, even if I think we'd have diabolical/evil babies or something. XD

'Tis fun. ;P I'd love to do that again lol.

------------------------

Next meme! ant-power@LJ tagged all who still hadn't done the meme, so here goes. ;P

THE HAPPINESS MEME

Rules: For eight days you have to post something that made you happy that day. Tag eight people to do the same.

FOR DAY ONE:
- It was fun doing that *points above* quiz again. I miss all the crack I can write about these boys. ♥
- My mom made me ebi tempura during lunchtime, and it's one of the best I've had so far. ^o^
- I finished five lessons on playing My Japanese Coach today, and I giggled so much when it taught me this: モモ.
- Jun dancing to Daite Senorita amuses me to no end. I don't know why. ;P
- I'm always fond of comedy sketches. So I'm on SNL phase right now, and my favorite castmember is Bill Hader. I just adore that guy's humility, especially with that talent. *__*
- I just realized when I attended a Holy Mass earlier that one of my crushes was actually born in the Year of the Ox. So I guess this is his lucky year.
- How could I? Nearly forgetting about THIS. Oh how I love my OTP. ♥

I tag... well, is there anyone who hasn't done this yet? If yes, then I tag you! XD

I guess that's it for today. I'll see you guys tomorrow! :D ♥

*Turning back time...with life's goodness.*