*Turning back time...with life's goodness.*

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

decipher it to someone

Now what?

I don't know.

What's making my situation worse is that I'm always on the balanced side: full of pros and cons.

But that's how it's supposed to be after all.

Yet I hate it too much.

Well, not really "too much", but I still don't like it nonetheless.

Damn.

How I wish I could change and control things (or if you're more manipulative, people).

Then maybe I wouldn't be going all through this Yes-I-should-be-glad-God-has-given-me-a-chance-to-have-what-I-want-but-not-entirely situation.

Why am I always taking this way too seriously anyways?

Perhaps it's because everything's within my reach now, and worse, I can't do anything to drive it away even if I tried to.

I hate myself.

I usually don't, but during these confusing times, I do.

Maybe what I've been saying to myself is right all along: I'm a hypocrite. And a worst one at that.

I wanted to ask myself earlier if I have already fallen into the trap I've carefully avoided for five months now.

I don't want to know, that's for sure.

But what if I did?

I'm so effin' doomed.

See? Another proof that I'm the stupidest person that has ever lived.

I can't control everything.

Unfortunately, I can't even control my own actions and feelings.

This is why I hate the idea of waiting.

Everything happens in just a short span of time: twists and turns, ups and downs.

And I feel everything: hatred, indifference, fondness, exhiliration, confusion.

You don't know how much I want pros to outweigh the cons. Especially now.

Now, at this very moment as I type my ridiculous thoughts.

I feel contented, yet I deeply yearn for something.

I seem happy, but I could be crying now.

I want this to continue, and I want this to end too abruptly so that I'd never know it did.

Me and my never-ending delusions.

When will it all happen? Will it ever happen?

I don't want to wait any longer.

Gah, I'm too damn impatient.

Perhaps this wasn't meant for me, although there are many instances that could say this was.

Oh well.

One thing's for sure.

I'll never learn.

"I'm glad I met you" @ 11:25 PM |

"I know you're out there."

I turn back time to relive each moment...
I turn back time to revive each emotion I've felt...
I turn back time to feel the happiness I have sensed some time in my life.

(Best viewed at 1024 x 768 resolution.)

THE ONE

Name: Jessie Age: 31
Writer, dreamer, fangirl.

Fandoms:
Whose Line is it Anyway?, House M.D., Doctor Who, The Office, Psych, Saturday Night Live, The Lonely Island, Community, Criminal Minds, New Girl, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, 嵐 (Arashi), V6, Snow Man, The Backstreet Boys, The Beatles, Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party, Rooster Teeth, Achievement Hunter and Funhaus, G4TV, Watcher.

Favorites:
Robert Sean Leonard, Hugh Laurie, David Tennant, Jason Mraz, Clay Aiken, Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie, Jeff B. Davis, 二宮和也 (Ninomiya Kazunari), Bill Hader, Matthew Gray Gubler, 井ノ原快彦 (Inohara Yoshihiko), 阿部亮平 (Abe Ryohei), 深澤辰哉 (Fukazawa Tatsuya), Danny Sexbang, Jon Risinger, Michael Jones, Lindsay Jones, Fiona Nova and Alfredo Diaz.

OTHER WORLDS

Official accounts:
Twitter: Follow this for official website matters, writing or all Western fandoms, or this for Japanese fandoms (I write in Japanese or English, but mostly English because my Japanese skills suck ass).
Tumblr (main)
Tumblr (Queen/BoRhap)
Twitch
I am also:
taboonalady on Instagram
soulmatesolace on Snapchat

SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

CREATION

Layout Concept:
Urban*Faery's skins
*Faeryvixen's skins*
Blogskins
Image-Hosting:
ImageShack
TinyPic
Brushes:
Miss M
Celestial-Star.net
GIFs:
SpazzCrack comm @ LJ
Last one is made by me. Inocchi ♥

Image by me (See disclaimer)

DISCLAIMER

About the design: Although the brushes used aren't mine, I created the whole thing. The image I mean. So don't steal that. Please.
Credit me if you want to use it.

WHY LOVE FANDOM? ♥

Because he's the reason I'm not depressed rn. ♥