*Turning back time...with life's goodness.*

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

something to hate

I've learned so much about you. Just today.

A mix. Something "bad influential", something odd and something, I don't know, "surprising" would be an appropriate term.

(I)

"Bad influential." Now that's a strange description of you, isn't it?

But that's you.

This must be the sign I've been dreading to see. I wanted to see something that would destroy my "ideal" image of you, just to see how I would react.

I was SO sure that I wouldn't feel anything bad.

Worse, I was SO sure that I wouldn't see one bad thing at all.

I didn't think you were like that.

Fine, I had a premonition. I somehow knew that, I thought you could be, yet I never believed it.

"As long as he doesn't smoke, it's fine by me."

What an idiotic thing to say. Guess I can't know you enough.

Now all I want to say is... I don't want to hate you for that.

(II)

Something odd. Well, other's opinion of you made me feel a bit better, to be honest.

A very nice guy, a talented gentleman and someone intelligent. That's what they say about you.

I'm known to ignore destructive criticisms, and this doesn't qualify as being destructive, so I'm not ignoring this one.

Really, only a few think negatively of you, and perhaps for a reason.

But like you, I'm hoping all of them change what I think about you, at this very moment as I type my disappointments of you.

I counted them. Strike one. Strike two. Strike two-and-a-half.

A half more and you're out. But clearly people don't think so.

I guess I should give you another chance. Again.

(III)

"Surprising." One thing's for sure. I've always been surprised when it comes to everything about you.

Every move, every word, every single fact that surrounds you. They have all surprised me one way or another.

What's so special about surprises this time?

The fact that I still can't believe I'm taking you this seriously, knowing that you might not even know I exist.

The fact that I can't stop thinking about you, knowing that you don't spend even just a millisecond doing the same.

The fact that I know you're out there, yet I can't do anything about letting you know I'm also right here.

Maybe I am this screwed-up.

Author's Note: Some moments today made me think that it's also my fault that I saw you like that. I committed a terrible sin last night, and I'm still sorry that I did that. Now He's teaching me a lesson through you. But as they say, everything happens for a reason. And whatever reason it is, I'll try to take it like a man and accept you for who you are. *Breathes out*

"I'm glad I met you" @ 11:36 PM |

"I know you're out there."

I turn back time to relive each moment...
I turn back time to revive each emotion I've felt...
I turn back time to feel the happiness I have sensed some time in my life.

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THE ONE

Name: Jessie Age: 31
Writer, dreamer, fangirl.

Fandoms:
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