*Turning back time...with life's goodness.*

Thursday, October 06, 2011

just like a fairy tale

October 4, 2011

Hope falters.
Everything we've heard based on fairy-tale happy endings, maybe they were all just a lie.
It is never as easy as we think it is.
Uncertainty rises.
We never know if we have someone until it happens.
It is never as easy as we think it is.
But love thrives.
Clinging onto some invisible hope is my sickness; even when hope falters, and uncertainty rises, I believe that something can still happen.
It is never as easy as we think it is, but it doesn't mean we should stop trying.

And so I try.

October 5, 2011

Even when each of us are busy with our own lives, I never fail to think about you.
Whilst I hope that if ever we come to live under the same sky and breathe the same air, I wish that as your day comes, you realize that despite being in an imperfect world, life has treated you kindly and magnificently.
Because your happiness is my happiness, as cliched as that sounds.

If life would be much kinder to us, my only prayer is for fate to bring us together.
I would wish forever too.

So I do.

October 6, 2011

Dear Soulmate,

This day has been such a whirlwind, much like our history together (or rather, my history with you). It has been five years since I first saw you, and that was so long ago. During that span of time, I've experienced mystery, anxiety, disappointment, love, indifference, adoration, forgiveness, fear, courage and, of course, that never-ending hope I never seem to run out of. I even, dare I say, shifted my attention to someone else for more or less a year. While I admit that is a bit shameful, I prefer to call it a "learning" experience because that is how I discovered the reality of my situation with you, and how I am willing to do anything just to make fate bring us together, as desperate as that seems.

I've had my share of hopes, especially now that I know there is a chance for me to finally meet you, face-to-face, without the involvement of my rich imagination. Because you have resurfaced after so long -- even my parents noticed that -- my entire family has wanted to see you like I do. Well, not only you per se, you together with your friends, and of course I want to see them too. Now that chance is at hand, I shall take it without hesitation. And my God, I shall finally see you with these two eyes that have longed to lay upon you.

But before all of that happens, my journey of finding you again has been unusually easy, because apparently, I have never lost all of my feelings for you; in fact, they have become stronger now, for some reason I still cannot explain until now. I call it a miracle, actually, because even when I was completely adoring someone else (in your absence, mind you), at one point I still came back to you, halfway through during those five years. I never tried to understand it. I guess it was just that easy coming back to you.

Just as it was easy coming back, it was also easy to imagine you in my life again. I have incorporated you in my life in small but surreal ways. I've always thought it would freak you out someday, if you would happen to know about them at all, but they say that if you think it can happen, it will happen. That's the belief I've been holding onto for the longest time, if it makes you wonder how I am able to stay by your side.

Another reason I stay is... well, there have been times where I feel incredibly lonely. Given my situation right now, it's both ridiculous and inevitable. Ridiculous, because I know I am still young and still have many things to experience; and inevitable, because at my age I still haven't found someone who will have stayed by my side just because that's how much he cares about me. So once again, you are the only hope I have at this point in my life.

Many have come and gone in my life. Ever since I met you, I've probably had four encounters with love. Some I've regretted, some I haven't, but the bottomline is, whenever I get hurt, I turn only to you for emotional protection and comfort. I know, perhaps I have attributed this to an imaginary version of yourself, but still, for me that has helped a lot. But I wish it is all as easy as in real life.

Despite the odds against our future meeting, I have constantly been praying for us. You might find this silly, but really, I am merely doing everything I can just for this to happen. I am currently praying that we find each other in such a special way that we will never forget, for the simple reason that I want to be happy. Many in this world want that, even you, my soulmate, so I cannot see why it's unreasonable.

Lastly, my dear soulmate, after all these years of knowing you, there is only one thing in my mind that I want to say, and this is very important: I don't know what my life would have been if I hadn't met you. And I never want to know, because I bet that it sucks. You're the only reason I can bear this loneliness. Without you, I'd probably be struggling with my life harder, and I cannot imagine that for the life of me. In the end, I just want to thank you for being who you are, whatever our differences are, whatever disappointments I've had or you've had, whatever hardships we have gone through separately, because in the end, we will endure them together.

Soon, my dear, very soon.

With love,
Jessie

"Show me that good things come to those who wait..."

"I'm glad I met you" @ 11:19 PM |

"I know you're out there."

I turn back time to relive each moment...
I turn back time to revive each emotion I've felt...
I turn back time to feel the happiness I have sensed some time in my life.

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THE ONE

Name: Jessie Age: 31
Writer, dreamer, fangirl.

Fandoms:
Whose Line is it Anyway?, House M.D., Doctor Who, The Office, Psych, Saturday Night Live, The Lonely Island, Community, Criminal Minds, New Girl, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, 嵐 (Arashi), V6, Snow Man, The Backstreet Boys, The Beatles, Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party, Rooster Teeth, Achievement Hunter and Funhaus, G4TV, Watcher.

Favorites:
Robert Sean Leonard, Hugh Laurie, David Tennant, Jason Mraz, Clay Aiken, Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie, Jeff B. Davis, 二宮和也 (Ninomiya Kazunari), Bill Hader, Matthew Gray Gubler, 井ノ原快彦 (Inohara Yoshihiko), 阿部亮平 (Abe Ryohei), 深澤辰哉 (Fukazawa Tatsuya), Danny Sexbang, Jon Risinger, Michael Jones, Lindsay Jones, Fiona Nova and Alfredo Diaz.

OTHER WORLDS

Official accounts:
Twitter: Follow this for official website matters, writing or all Western fandoms, or this for Japanese fandoms (I write in Japanese or English, but mostly English because my Japanese skills suck ass).
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Tumblr (Queen/BoRhap)
Twitch
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soulmatesolace on Snapchat

SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

CREATION

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